There's Always Tomorrow AQ
by itwasadream
Summary: Prequel to Beautiful When You Don't Try. Quinn/Adrianne Emotional Fluff  Rated M for later chapters.  Rachel is mentioned a lot
1. Chapter 1

**Here is the prequel to Beautiful When You Don't Try. Chapter one. I tried to stick with the same overall vibe of the verse, but without making it seem too strange to have a Quinn/Adrianne pairing. Don't worry all you Faberry lovers. Rachel will be a prominent character, just not by being there physically.**

**This is the first chapter so its mainly about how they meet. The chapter that will be posted on Thursday gets more settled. And next Tuesday even more so. My goal for this prequel is to have you all go back and read BWYDT afterwards, and kind of hate Quinn during the beginning instead of Adrianne. I know that sounds horrible, but it will round out the whole story much nicer. You'll understand both sides of the story with this one, not just Quinn's.**

**Updated on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Chapter 2 will be posted in a few hours.**

**~/~/~/~**

Quinn leaned against the bottom row of desks in her psychology class. Her lips were pursed in annoyance, her foot tapping, and her hazel eyes rolled up to the ceiling. All while she reminded herself that she had set a goal to learn to be more patient. She needed to learn not to bite people's heads off when they were acting stupid. She needed to not ask them point blank if they were morons. She needed to not stare at them in complete disbelief of their stupidity until they got the picture and walked away in shame and fear. She needed to change that. That behavior wasn't making her happy or proud. And that was why she continued to stand where she had been for the last ten minutes as her professor flirted with two of her class' dumbest female students.

"Are you planing on sleeping with him?" A voice called out and it took Quinn a minute to realize they were talking to her. She dropped her eyes from the ceiling to the professor's teaching assistant who was currently grading papers next to her.

"Excuse me?"

The brunette set her pen down and pointed to the occupied teacher. "Are you planning on sleeping with him?"

The blonde didn't know how to respond to such a blunt and inappropriate question besides a simple and rather haughty "No."

"Then you're wasting your time standing here. He wont help you, only give you the run around until he gets what he wants, which is in your pants."

"Is that how you got your position?" The cutting remark fell out of her lips before she could even catch herself. Quinn closed her eyes in regret and opened them again to see the assistant reclined back in her seat with an offended but amused smile on her face. "I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated from waiting."

The emerald green eyes staring back at her were unblinking. "That's alright. But to answer your question, no. I'm not sleeping with him. Not that he didn't give me this position hoping to remedy that fact." She explained, rolling her eyes. "But anyway, what did you need to know and maybe I can help you out since we both know he isn't going to be available to help anytime soon."

Quinn was thankful that the girl didn't take severe offense to her crassness and tell her to fuck off, but rather offered to help. She set her books down and pulled out the printout that outlined what her next paper was to be written on.

"Oh, wait." The brunette interrupted her, seeing what was in her hand. "Let me guess. You're looking for that one example he left off, right? There's an example for three of the four personality types and you're looking for the fourth."

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

She laughed lightly and took the paper from Quinn's hand and began to write on it. "That's how he gets them down here." She remarked, pointing quickly to the two students that were fully enveloped in his flirtation. "He intentionally leaves things off so that he is approached after class. It gives him prime flirting opportunities."

"That's just... repulsive."

"That's male." The brunette offered. Quinn laughed and turned her attention back to the assistant. "Here. Henry David Thoreau. Last semester he was the dick's favorite example _after_ everyone had turned their papers in. If you write on him then you might catch our pervert's attention for the right reasons, not just because you're beautiful."

Quinn accepted the paper back with an appreciative smile. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

The blonde took a few steps away but then stopped, turning back to the assistant. "I know it's not really my place, and especially after I insulted you, but why are you his assistant if you know he's only trying to sleep with you?"

"He may use faulty lesson plans as a tool to get women, but I'm using this position as a tool for my future career." Quinn arched an eyebrow in curiosity and the assistant dropped her eyes to the desk with a nervous laugh. "I'm studying law. I want to focus on human rights and discrimination. He and his sexist and power abusing ways, are my test subjects. I'm learning about the enemy." She joked, earning a laugh from Quinn.

"Well, I wish you the best of luck with it."

She nodded then held out her hand. "I'm Adrianne, by the way."

"Quinn." The blonde greeted, accepting her hand and returning her smile.

"Well, Quinn. It was nice to meet you and I maybe I'll see you around. You know, out side of the class."

Quinn nodded in response and left, thinking maybe she had finally found someone in this entire campus that she could hold a conversation with and not either feel threatened or want to kill. It didn't take too long before she had a second chance to find out. She had been talked into going to a frat party by her room mate and only agreed to hold up appearances. She had found that while she continued to feed into the things she was 'suppose' to do, it made her less and less happy to do so.

She had run away from her past in Ohio to start a new life but found herself still very much living the one she left. Now, it just had new names and faces. Everyone acted the same. There were the annoying self-centered ones she wanted to strangle, having even less patience for them than before. There were the popular ones who thought they were better than everyone else and sought her out as friends, only because they saw her as a threat. There were the jocks, only concerned with their reputations and appearance. The intellects who looked down upon everyone else, and more so if they felt threatened by someone who suddenly proved themselves to be either smart, or perhaps even smarter than themselves.

Quinn was already over school but she had nothing else to do. Her spare time was spent immersed in her photography obsession that had begun to develop towards the end of her freshman year. It started to provide her with some additional income, but even that was starting to grow unappealing. She could feel herself slipping back into a familiar depression that she was hell bent on staying out of. But here she was at the party, shifting through a crowd of people who she felt could barely look past their own needs and desires to see anything else in the world because she was twenty-one and was 'suppose' to enjoy being here. She was no better than them, and that realization only depressed her even more.

"You don't look to thrilled to be here." A familiar voice called in her ear as she found a hiding spot near a door way in the overly crowded house. The pulsing music and screams and cheers were already giving her a head ache. She turned around to be met by emerald green eyes and a genuine smile. It was Adrianne.

"Um... Hi. I'm not actually. I would just never hear the end of it from my room mate if I didn't make an appearance."

"Ah. It's amazing how miserable peer pressure can make us."

Quinn opened her mouth to respond but she was cut off by a firm hand on her ass. "Hey, Babe. I didn't think you would be here."

"Get your hands off of me." She ordered, slapping his hand away as she turned to look up to the tall brunette jock. He threw his hands in the air in surrender.

"My bad. I keep forgetting that's off limits."

"It's all off limits to you."

"Everything okay?" Adrianne asked as she now stood behind Quinn, concern in her voice as she moved a little forward just in case she needed to step in between the two. Quinn clearly wasn't impressed with the guy and he was all smiles, only fueling the aggravation.

The blonde just stared down the pretty boy as he slowly retreated. "Yes. Everything's fine... Jerk."

"Do you know him or is just really forward?"

Quinn let out a sigh and ran her hand over her forehead. "Unfortunately, I even dated the ass."

"You have impeccable taste."

She couldn't help but laugh. Adrianne's sense of humor was very much like hers. Smart and quick. She could really see herself making a lasting friendship with the brunette. "I know, right. Um, so... are you here studying more of the enemy?" She asked, pointing behind her to her ex.

"No. Actually I came looking for some tail." Quinn dropped her brow but couldn't stop herself from smiling. She knew it was a joke but found it oddly charming. "No, I'm just here because a friend dragged me along as well. Did you want a drink?"

Quinn shook her head, holding up her hand. "No thank you. I don't drink unless there's someone around I can trust."

Adrianne arched an eyebrow. "Are you a wild one at heart?

"Ha. Not hardly. I'm about as up tight as they come actually."

"You don't strike me as uptight, maybe just mature enough to be over the childishness that accompanies events such as this." Adrianne offered, waving her glass around the room of nearly one hundred drunken college students who were either trying to dance to music that was far too loud and only stumbling on the person passed out on the floor, or were too busy to dance because they were trying to get laid.

"I like how you think. It's like you can read my mind."

"I'm just very perceptive. It's like a sixth sense I come by naturally." She joked but the statement caught Quinn funny and she found herself smiling. Memories came flooding back to her and she dropped her eyes and furrowed her brow, trying to forget them all over again.

"Actually, I think I might want that drink. Would you mind being my body guard for a little while?"

"Seeing as the friend I came with is now upstairs with... a few people, I would love to. At least I know you're capable of holding a conversation that doesn't involve the words 'dude', 'bombed', 'fucking', or 'I'm going to throw up on you'."

After getting Quinn her drink, they escaped the noise and headed outside to the cool night's air. "I love the cool weather. It reminds me of home." The blonde stated absently, looking up to what she could see of the night sky through the trees.

"And where's home?"

"Ohio."

"Illinois for me. What brought you out here out here?"

Quinn laughed to herself and met her new friend's eyes briefly as they continued to walk in a slow pace. "It wasn't Ohio." She joked, earning an understanding nod from Adrianne. "No, I'm just dabbling in the arts until I decide where exactly I'm wanting to go. I've latched on to photography, but I'm slowly losing interest."

"Any particular reason?"

"I love it. It's..." She hesitated, meeting Adrianne's eyes and trying to read her interest. "It's freeing. But lately it's become a bit more of a hassle. I do weddings and birthdays and family reunions, but it's a lot more work than I had imagined it to be and it's not easy to try and do by yourself. I would prefer just to be more freelance but I have to pay my bills too."

"Well, have you thought about getting a friend to help out?"

Quinn laughed again as they continued to walk to no place in particular. "Do you know how hard it is, not only to get a college student to give up their Saturday, but tell them it's to go to a wedding?"

"Okay... good point. Well, I know we just kind of met, but I'd be willing to help out if you need it. I mean, you aren't doing a wedding every Saturday are you? Because if you are..." She joked with a warm smile.

"No, it's sporadic, but I wouldn't want to impose. I appreciate the offer though."

Adrianne grabbed her arm lightly and let it go once the blonde stopped. "It was a serious offer, not one just to be polite. If you need the help, I'll help. I would hate for you to lose interest in a passion just because you're too damn proud to ask for help. So I'm offering it."

Quinn smiled lightly as she furrowed her brow. "You _are_ a good read."

"It's a gift. So?"

"So... I guess I'll let you know when the next wedding is."

"Sweet. I have something to pull me away from my books and actually blame for when I fail a test and you didn't have to swallow your pride. I think this friendship will work out just perfectly."


	2. Chapter 2

**After some issues posting on my blog, I've decided to post this here. I'm still a little iffy because it does involove an OCC _so_heavily. Hopefully I'm not stepping on anyone's toes. I guess I should say if you don't like it, don't read it. This is for the ones who are interested. I _will_be doing the sequel to BWYDT (with daily M-F updates) after this one. So if the new Faberry fic is done before this one (I don't know if it will be) then I might venture off into some of the other things I've been asked to write until this one is wrapped up as well. I want it to be one continuous piece.**

**Alright, so in this chapter... it's a week or so later, not the day after. I don't think I mentioned that in the actual chapter so I'll tell you now. The friendship is starting to take off and information is being shared, bonds are being made... all that good stuff. Um... there was something else I wanted to say but I can't think of it besides I am so glad you all are liking this already. Especially those of you who either said you weren't going to read it and did, or those of you who were concerned. It's going to play with your emotions when it comes to your stance on Faberry, but that's what I'm wanting. This is about Quinn dealing with herself and later her feelings for Rachel and being torn about Adrianne. While from Adrianne's point of view, this is about her feelings for Quinn and how she is affected by Quinn's feelings for Rachel. Emotional drama coated in humor and fluff.**

**Thank you for all the comments you left me for the last chapter on my blog. And I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. I have some good stuff already in the works for these two.**

**Also, this is a little short but they will be much longer starting next week.**

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"It's been a while since I've been in one of these." Adrianne stated softly as she followed Quinn into the church, looking up and taking in the high stain glass ceilings.

"How long?"

"Six years or so."

Quinn stopped and turned around. "Yeah, that has been a while."

"What about you?" The brunette asked as they started walking towards the pulpit again. "Are you a good little Christian girl?"

"I am."

"Catholic?"

"I am."

"I knew it. You can always spot them."

The blonde turned around again as they reached their destination and smiled in amusement at the comment. "Please, explain that."

"Well, they're the ones with their head up high but a hundred pound ball and chain of guilt dragging behind them. I thought that always made them pretty easy to spot... Also the fact that when we walked in, you looked for the bowl of holy water to bless yourself with despite that fact that this is not a Catholic church.."

She laughed lightly at the observation. "And I'm going to assume by the fact that you actually knew what I was looking for, that you were at least raised Catholic as well."

"That I was."

"So why don't you go to church anymore?" Quinn asked as she began setting up her equipment.

"I don't belong there."

"Why not?"

"Well, for starters, I don't believe in it. And secondly, they don't believe in me."

The blonde stood up straight and looked back at her friend who was still taking in her surroundings. "Meaning?"

"I'm gay." Quinn nearly dropped her camera, she was so taken back by the confession. "That reaction never gets old." The brunette teased, lightening the weight of embarrassment Quinn was feeling at the moment.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I mean, as long as you aren't going to turn me in to the preacher or pastor or whatever this denomination calls it. And of course, as long as you don't start lecturing me about-"

"No. God, no. I'm not homophobic or anything like that. I'm a believer in to each his own."

Adrianne nodded her head once. "Good to know." The two stood in a thick, awkward silence. "And you are completely freaked out right now."

"No. No, I'm not." Quinn assured her, shaking her head. "I'm just... shocked, I guess. You just... I don't know. I wouldn't have guessed. I'm not freaked."

"Right. If you say so. So, where do you need me to be when all of this gets started?"

"Um..." Quinn looked down again to her camera and bags. "Pretty much right behind me. I might need a different lense or, um... I tend to run into things as well." Adrianne arched an eyebrow. "I move around while looking through the lense and I can't see where my feet are going."

"So I need to be your eyes."

"You don't have to be, but it is a little distracting to the guests when I suddenly call out 'oh shit' before I hit the ground." Adrianne's laugh echoed through the large empty room and she quickly covered her mouth despite the fact that they were alone.

"I'll see what I can do."

"I'd appreciate any help you can give."

Adrianne nodded and watched as Quinn went back to preparing. "So, do you really go to church every Sunday?"

"Most Sundays. I do have to confess to giving in to the desire to sleep in every now and then."

"Mass really does start too damn early. But here's the real question. Do you actually go to confession, and if you do... do you really confess all of your sins?" Quinn looked at a smiling Adrianne out of the corner of her eye. "Because I think it would be really, really awkward to confess to a priest about indecent thoughts we have and the things people do to alleviate our natural, biological reaction to them."

"Some confessions I keep between myself and God."

"But then what's the point of going to confession?"

"For penance."

"Then you've never repented for the things you confessed to God?"

"What is with you and all the questions?" Quinn asked with a smile on her face as she dropped her hands to her side.

"I'm just trying to understand your views and beliefs. I mean, just be thankful that I grew up Catholic and I'm not asking you why you worship statues." Quinn rolled her eyes, having already been asked that question several times in her life. "See, that is a plus."

"You said you don't believe. Why not?"

"Because there's too much bullshit mixed into it all." Quinn glared at her and she playfully covered her mouth after swearing. "Sorry."

"Your afterlife, not mine."

"Well, you are a horrible Christian. You're suppose to tell me that I'm going to Hell unless I repent and beg for forgiveness."

"What's the point?"

"Oh, an indifferent Christian, even more rare. I thought you all were out to save the world one non believer at a time."

"I can talk to you until I'm blue in the face, but it's up to you whether or not you're going to be saved."

The brunette smiled lightly. "Fair enough."

Things were proving so much easier with Adrianne around. The brunette seemed to instinctively know what Quinn needed, holding out either the bag of lenses or filters for her to choose from every time she dropped the camera from her face. The only slip up had been when neither Adrianne or Quinn noticed a small step down and Quinn almost took a face dive, but she found herself being pulled securely against the brunette's body by a strong arm. It took her a few seconds after that to find her creative focus again. She was pretty sure it was because of Adrianne's confession of her sexuality, but Quinn was oversensitive to their interactions now. Not that she had a problem with it or felt threatened. She was just much more aware now.

"I really appreciate your help." Quinn stated as she closed the trunk on her car. "There was much less stress with you there and I actually enjoyed it this time. Maybe you should give up on law school and just become my assistant. Maybe one day I'll even have my own studio and you can help me run it."

"Sounds tempting, but I'll have to see what type of boss you are before I sign any paper work. But I actually had fun too. For a job, this isn't half bad."

"Nah. The trying part is what I get to do next: editing. Although I think these turned out pretty good, so maybe I wont have too much to do." Quinn said, nodding her head towards the trunk with the camera in it.

"Want some company? I'm still trying to put off studying."

"Do you ever study?"

"I do better under pressure."

The blonde smiled broadly and looked down to the ground before meeting Adrianne's waiting gaze. "Yeah. I would love the company actually. Staring at a computer screen gets a little old after awhile. But lets stop and grab something to eat first."

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"You were really a cheerleader?" Adrianne asked with a little bit of a laugh in her words and Quinn blushed while she nodded her head. She dropped her eyes to her plate and picked up another french fry.

"I was. I was the head cheerleader actually."

"Let me guess, you even dated the quarterback and were homecoming _and_ prom queen." Quinn held her hand out, palm up in admission. "Oh my God. You were totally _that_ girl. I'm shocked. I always thought they were suppose to be clueless and slow. You're actually intelligent, witty, and fun to be around."

"Thank you. I'm glad I defied the odds. What about you? I would say that you were either one of the popular kids, or a rebel without a cause."

"Can't I be both?" Adrianne teased. "No, I was a bit of an out cast. Not too much, but I was. I had opinions and beliefs that didn't really match my peers and they found it difficult to relate to me. It all made me kind of an oddity." That didn't sound at all familiar. "What's that look for?"

Quinn snapped out of her daze. "What?"

"That pensive look you just had. What was it for?"

The blonde waved a dismissive hand in the air. "You just reminded me of someone from high school. That's all."

"Someone you miss?"

The blonde let out a light snorting laugh. "And why would you say that?"

"Because you were smiling. Now you have a lonely look in your eyes."

Quinn stared at the brunette for several long and silent seconds. "Has anyone ever told you that when you do that, you make the other person feel uncomfortably vulnerable?"

Adrianne took a bite of her hamburger in indifference to what the blonde was implying. "Once or twice."

"Yeah, well, I'm not a fan of that feeling."

"Babe, no one is."

Quinn froze and studied Adrianne who seemed oblivious to the name she had just called her friend. "Babe?"

The brunette paused for a second and mentally played the last few minutes of the conversation over in her head. "I'm sorry. I say that to everyone. I didn't mean anything by it. I wasn't hitting on you or anything like that." Quinn arched an eyebrow. "Well, I mean, you're beautiful, intelligent, funny, and judging by those lips, probably a really good kisser... but still, I wouldn't be that forward." The blonde rolled her eyes at the joke, hoping it was a joke and not flirtation anyway, and hoped that the brunette didn't notice the blush she felt burning her cheeks... because she had no clue why it was even there. Adrianne looked down to her plate to try and hide her smile. She definitely noticed the blonde's blush. "But anyway, people only feel vulnerable when they're trying to hide something."

"Or keep something to themselves."

"Exactly. Hiding something. So, what are you wanting to hide?"

Quinn scoffed and took a sip of her drink. "If I'm hiding something, what makes you think that I would tell _you_?"

Adrianne sat back in her chair and studied the blonde. "Are you telling me you don't want to tell me?"

Surprisingly, with as vulnerable as Quinn was feeling, she was also feeling very comfortable with the brunette. If anyone else had pushed this much, she would have been running out the door or ripping their heads off. But here she was actually toying with the idea of opening up to this woman she had only met a few weeks ago. "I wouldn't want to depress you."

"Oh, angst. I can handle some angst. I happen to have had a fair share of it in my life as well. Perhaps I can relate."

"Have you ever run away from everything you've ever known to try and forget about it only to have it follow you in your memories?"

"Partially. I've run, but I've left it where it was and gone back to deal with it later... when I was ready. I figured I ran for a reason. I thought it would be best if I dealt with that reason first and what I left behind second."

This is what drew Quinn to Adrianne more than anything. She had a maturity to her that Quinn could relate to. She was able to somehow cut through all of the protection that Quinn had built up and no make her feel insecure being completely exposed. She almost made her feel safe, like everything was going to be okay as long as she talked about it. It was strange to feel more uncomfortable trying to dismiss a topic than it was trying to explain it, no matter how deep the emotions were that were attached.

"So... why did you run?"

Quinn held Adrianne's gaze for a second as the faint smile fell from her face. "Lets just say that the person that everyone back home knows me as, and I have given them every reason to see me as, isn't really me."

"So, why not show them who you really are?"

The blonde twirled her drink on the table, slowing expanding the ring of moisture on the table's surface. "Because I still haven't completely figured it out yet. I've spent so much time trying to be who I was suppose to be in everyone elses' eyes, that I'm not sure who I really am. I just know who I'm not."

"And who aren't you?"

"I'm not really wanting to get into this right now. It's a bit too deep for a dinner conversation."

Adrianne studied the pain that her friend was currently trying to hide and nodded her head. Normally she would push for a bit more information, but she had a feeling that the blonde would actually get up and leave if she did. "Okay. Maybe another time. We could share some stories I'm sure."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Alrighty. Chapter 3. I've had to make these longer to try and end this before the Faberry fic I'm currently working on that way those of you who want, can re read BWYDT and then move right on to the sequel.**

**I also realize that the two fics I'm working on have similar names and with the rotating updates, it's a bit confusing at times. So I've adjusted the title to this one, adding the AQ for Adrianne/Quinn. Hopefully it eliminates any confusion. For me as well. I know I'm going to end up updating the wrong one with the wrong story's chapter.**

**Also, I know a few of you have been having issues reading some of the stories because they either vanish, or certain chapters of them vanish. That's not me. I don't know what is going on but hopefully it stops soon.**

**Like I do at the beginning of most fics, I'm going to ask you to send me a message or an email or leave me a comment about what you would like me to cover in this story. If you're interested enough to read a non Faberry fic, I want to try and give you that piece of their history that you're interested in seeing. But now I'm done with my rambling. Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing. Enjoy! (P.S. I may start updating this on Saturdays...espicially since this fic is about to really start moving) Loosely edited.**

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Adrianne, for as much as she fought it, was already in love. She couldn't help it and even tried not to be, but she was. I guess it kind of helped that her gaydar went into overdrive when Quinn was around, but the blonde still wasn't admitting anything and Adrianne wasn't ready to push for that just yet. She may not have been the most patient... no, scratch that. She wasn't patient at all, but that still wasn't something you pushed someone into accepting. She just hoped to be around enough that once the blonde did accept it, so she could be there to support her and... other things. Still, the more time she spent helping Quinn, which was as much as she possibly could, it was getting harder and harder for her to resist.

Even now, six weeks after they met, Adrianne was having to busy her eyes on the computer screen before them to keep from staring at her secret crush. Or she at least hoped it was a secret crush. Adrianne had always prided herself on choosing girlfriends based on personality not just appearance, having been subject to 'You're pretty. Let's date. I don't care that we have nothing in common.' scenarios before. But Quinn was beautiful and she couldn't help but notice. There was an elegance to her, a grace, but somehow within all of that controlled movement, there was a peaceful, calmness to her presence. It was hypnotizing to the brunette.

However, being so wrapped in Quinn's presence gave Adrianne an even greater understanding of her. Quinn had always told her about her internal struggle between reliving what she's always known and letting herself be free to be herself, but Adrianne could even see the changes between the two now. It was in the eyes mostly. They were dead when she was restricting herself. But when she was free, they smiled at the world and made you smile with them. Seeing something as naturally beautiful as that occur and then fade away, left Adrianne just as frustrated with the blonde's indecision as Quinn was herself.

"I actually really like this one." Adrianne teased, pointing to a very unattractive face that one of the guests was making from their latest job. It had been the second wedding that they covered together.

"Well, that's why you take a lot of pictures. You're never going to capture everything you want in a single one. Each one shows something different. Whether that is an unflattering facial expression or that tiny, normally hidden expression of a truly touching emotion."

"You're deep, you know that?" Adrianne asked, turning to look at the side of her friend's face. "You should show that side of you more often."

Quinn was still lost in her survey of the photos, completely oblivious to the admiring gaze of the brunette. "Do you now? Because I think that people will just see me as a freak that they can't relate too."

"Their loss then. But a great gift for those who can. Why are you so caught up in what other people think anyway?"

The blonde took a deep breath and let it out slowly through her nose. "It's a habit and fear that I was raised with. You can get what you want as long as you appeal to the person that has it. But if you aren't what they want... it might as well be the end of the world."

"What about what you want?" Quinn snapped out of her daze and met Adrianne's eyes. "You say that you aren't happy, but you continue to do what doesn't make you happy, the very thing that you ran away from... why?" That was the question Quinn had been asking herself for so long but never bothered to answer. "What would make you happy? What is one thing you want that you don't think you're suppose to have?" Yeah... that's not pushing at all.

"I don't know." Quinn stated plainly, turning her attention back to the computer. She didn't even try to think about the question because she knew she would never try for whatever it was anyway.

"What about your photography? You said that this is your passion but do you really plan on making a living off of doing weddings and birthdays? What about making a portfolio portfolio of your other pictures? Why not submit them somewhere? Try and get published?"

"I don't know." She stated again, getting a bit aggravate. She didn't mind conversation, but this was treading on tender topics. Adrianne had zeroed in on an issue that Quinn was already beating herself up over and was going after it like an attack dog. Quinn didn't like being pushed but pushing was what Adrianne did best. Even if it did have unintentional repercussions. She only meant to help, but just hardly ever knew when to stop.

"I think you do know and you're just too scared. You've probably gone through your whole life just having things handed to you and now that you have to actually take your own steps, you're too scared."

_Not hardly._ "You know very little about me."

"Then tell me. For as much as you and I have talked these last few weeks, you're right, I don't really know anything about you. So tell me." Quinn shook her head, staring at the computer screen but not seeing anything that was on it. "Why not? What are you scared of? Letting someone in? You can't go through life alone, Quinn."

"Yes I can." She snapped, jumping up out of her seat and looking down on a surprised Adrianne. "I can and I have. I haven't needed anyone these last three years and I don't need anyone now. I've been alone and I've done just fine." She was expecting the brunette to be put off by her outburst and either apologize or leave, but Adrianne didn't do either.

She stood up and met Quinn's hard gaze with an unwavering one of her own. This woman didn't back down when she thought she was doing something right. "You are miserable. Lonely. Scared. You want someone, but for some reason you're too afraid to let anyone in."

"Because every time I do, I get hurt. I get hurt or I hurt them."

Adrianne shook her head, unable to see what the big deal was. "Everyone gets hurt, Quinn. I've been hurt and I will be hurt again, I'm sure. That's part of life. You can't shut everyone out without shutting out life. Why are you torturing yourself and causing yourself pain? Just trying to prevent small moments of hurt that may not even come for years? That's just stupid."

"Why do you even care?"

"Because I do. I care about you, whether you like it or not. I apparently care more about you than you do and I'm concerned as to why that is? Who has damaged you so much that you don't even feel worthy of having someone care about you?"

"Why are you pushing this so much?"

"Because apparently you need to be pushed. You're stuck in this spot and you seem content never to leave it without someone kicking you in the ass to do it."

Quinn was physically shaking under the stress of her emotions. There was anger there, but there was also the hurt she had never dealt with rising to the surface as well as part of her begging just to let Adrianne in. To let someone help her, let someone understand her. But she couldn't handle the pity. "Do you really want to know about me?"

"Yes." Adrianne nodded her head curtly.

"Fine. I'm a bitch. I am a cold, heartless, unfeeling bitch who is trying to change and the only way I can do that is but cutting people out."

"Then you care about them to push them away because of it and therefore aren't a cold-"

"No. I'm not cutting them out to spare them. I cut them out so I don't have to deal with them anymore. I left home and never looked back because I don't want to deal with it. I haven't even spoken to my own mother in three years. I haven't called on her birthday. I haven't called on Christmas. I changed my number so she can't even contact me. I left the day after graduation and didn't even tell my best friend where I was going to school. I left because I'm selfish."

"But you feel guilty for it."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do. I see it in your eyes. You are tearing yourself down because you feel guilty about what you're doing. You're hurting inside."

"I'm a disappointment. I'm never what anyone wants me to be."

"Then just be you. Stop trying to be what everyone else wants. So what if you can make yourself into what one person wants when you can't even be yourself."

"Because when I'm myself, no one wants me."

Adrianne shook her head. "I want you to be yourself. I want you to be happy and the only way you are going to do that is if you allow yourself to be content with who you are. You want to get over the past? Then let it go. Holding on to the guilt only keeps it around. Draw a line and step over it. Leave everything else behind. Find yourself, then deal with your past as a strong, self-confident woman."

Quinn kept her eyes away, looking at the ground across the room. Part of her was screaming to let this woman in, this woman she naturally felt so comfortable around. But part of her was screaming to run away and hide like she always did. It was more comfortable to run. She growled with her returning frustration from her internally struggle. "Why do you even care?"

"Because that's what I do." Adrianne answered back in an equally harsh tone. "I care about people. And I'm going to care about you whether you like it or not, so you might as well get use to the idea. You're stuck with me you damn masochist." Quinn pulled her head back quickly, losing some of her anger to confusion. "That's right. You enjoy pain, that has to be the only reason why you would continue to do it to yourself."

"I think you should leave." Quinn stated, grabbing the brunette's jacket off the back of her chair and handing it to her.

Adrianne snatched it from her hand. "Fine. When you feel like moving on with your life, give me a call." Adrianne had never met someone so stubborn before. She liked a challenge but Quinn was unmovable. There was a problem. The blonde saw the problem and the solution, but wouldn't even try to fix it.

Quinn watched as Adrianne walked out the dorm, slamming the door shut behind her. She turned around and pressed her fingers firmly to her forehead, willing herself not to cry. She was stronger than this. What good was crying going to do her? Her tears fell anyway when her mind screamed back 'but what good is staying where you are going to do you?'. She knew what she needed and what she wanted, she just couldn't allow herself to do it. And she didn't know why.

She collapsed down on her bed and screwed her eyes shut as tightly as she could, just wishing the day away like she had so many times before. Tomorrow would be better because it's not today. That was her motto. But she knew that wasn't the case anymore. She had spent the last three years keeping people at an arm's length from her. Her friends, boyfriends, room mates... everyone. But for some reason she let one person in. One person who got close enough to see her, who she really was. The damage had been done. She was no longer passing through life as an invisible person that people thought they knew but really knew nothing about in reality. Now every time she was to see the tall brunette, there would be that awkwardness, that vulnerability in knowing that someone actually saw her.

Quinn rolled over on her back and stared at the ceiling above her bed for a few seconds before lifting her arm and taking off her watch. "She is..." She lowered her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes, thinking back to the girl she got that white ink tattoo on her wrist to remind her of. She was special. Not just special to Quinn, but special as a person. She had a resilience that Quinn envied and admired at the same time. _She_ would have opened up. _She_ would have taken Adrianne's interest as a sign of character. It wouldn't have made her weak to allow her in, it would have made her brave for putting herself out their. So why couldn't Quinn see herself like that?

~/~/~/~

Adrianne didn't hear from Quinn until Monday during class. She was giving the blonde the space that she at least thought she wanted. Even during class, Adrianne stayed in her normal place, down front and off to the side, not even looking up to where the blonde was sitting, despite the fact that she could feel her hazel eyes on her through the whole lecture. And when the class was dismissed, she took her time packing her things, giving Quinn the opportunity to approach or walk away first if she still needed to.

Quinn took a deep breath and stepped down the last step and then over towards Adrianne. She knew what the brunette was doing. That's why they clicked so quickly. They could just read each other and understand the other's actions instantly. Then again, that was also the problem. Adrianne had hit on a nerve that Quinn wasn't ready to have exposed because she saw it so easily.

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure." Adrianne answered, stilling her motions and looking up to the blonde from her seat.

Quinn mashed her lips between her teeth and took a seat next to her. "I need to apologize for the way I acted the other day. I have a few issues... issues which I feel I need to deal with on my own because having someone else know about them makes them weaknesses." She paused and Adrianne held her gaze, waiting for more. "I'm not allowed to be weak."

"People can't always be strong."

"I know that, but I was raised not to believe it." She closed her eyes and sighed. "This is my issue. I'm constantly bouncing back and forth between what I know and think, and what I'm suppose to know and think. And before you say it, it's not that easy just to forget about the things that have been so deeply ingrained into your mind."

"I know." Adrianne assured her lightly and genuinely. "But I also know it's easier when you have some to help... once you allow yourself to have some to help."

Quinn dropped her eyes to the ground in front of her. "This isn't you battle though. I don't want to drag you into it."

"But that's what friends are for."

"That's why I've chosen not to have any."

Adrianne took in a deep breath and let it out dramatically. Quinn had an argument for everything. "Well, then I guess you probably don't want to hear that I tend to get attached to people and don't let go."

Quinn nodded her head in surprising acceptance. She had come to the realization last night that maybe Adrianne's ability to read her and push her was actually a blessing in disguise. Like the brunette said, she wasn't fixing anything on her own. Maybe Adrianne was what she needed to get her moving in the right direction. "Well, I guess that's a good thing because one of the guests from the wedding is having a family reunion and asked if we would do the photography for it."

"We?"

She continued to nod her head. "We. It's a good thing your such a great friend too, because you'll even do it for free." Adrianne laughed, mockingly. "Then how about I buy you dinner afterward?"

The brunette held out her hand. "Deal." Quinn shook her hand and dropped her eyes to laugh as she did. "What's so funny?"

"It's been four weeks since we met and you've already been exposed to the one insecurity that hardly anyone else that I've known for years has managed to pick up on. And what do I do? I buy you dinner."

Adrianne smiled and stood up, bringing her books and papers to her chest. "You should be careful with that. Some people might think it's a date."

"Ah, yes." Quinn joked back, walking with the brunette out of the class room. "After hitting on the sensitive topic about my lack of strength to over come my past, lets just jump right into the debate of my sexuality."

"There's a debate?" Adrianne asked, looking at her but leaving the question open ended so it could be played off as a tease.

The blonde let out a quick laugh. "No. No debate there. I'm straight." Adrianne nodded with a smile, seeing Quinn's smiling eye falter at the remark. The blonde wasn't as sure as she made herself appear.

~/~/~/~

"No. I'm telling you. I can not cook!" Quinn stated in playful desperation as Adrianne laughed over their meal. "I'm serious. I burn everything. Even if I follow the instructions by the letter. Although, I did make this meat loaf that was perfect. Absolutely delicious. My roommate loved it. But then we about died from it the next day."

"So do you live off of fast food or something?"

Quinn shook her head as she took a sip of her drink. "No. Not entirely at least. I can make sandwiches, frozen dinners, those soups that comes in a cans."

Adrianne burst out in laughter again and looked around, thankful that they both enjoyed casual restaurants where you were free just to relax. "You have to cook for me at least once, just so I can see it for myself."

The blonde shook her head. "No way. I'm not giving you a reason to tease me anymore than you already do. I'll bake for you though. I can bake like no one's business. Cakes, cookies, everything like that."

"What's the difference?"

She shrugged. "I have no idea. But I have this mental block when it comes to cooking actual meals. I would be useless as a house wife who was expected to cook and clean like my father had intended me to be."

"Well, I guess it's a plus that you have a different passion that you're striving for." Adrianne commented, trying to keep the same pace of conversation despite being caught off guard by the mention of the blonde's family. That was a topic she avoided at all costs. Anything specific like this anyway.

"So what about you? What's one thing that you can't do?"

"Oh, goodness. Let me see... I can't be in a room with a man for more than just a few minutes without wanting to strangle him."

Quinn dropped her brow. "Well, I guess it's a good thing you're a lesbian."

"I thought so too." She joked, taking a bite of her food.

"So why not?"

Adrianne shrugged and leaned back in her chair. "I don't know. They just... they annoy me without even trying. If they sit there and they don't say anything, we'll be just fine. But as soon as he opens his mouth I want to reach over and shut it for him."

"Did you have a bad experience with guys or something?" Quinn asked as she wiped her mouth with her napkin and reclined back as well.

"Does every day count?" The brunette joked. "No, I mean, I have. But nothing that would cause this. My mother says I was born with my strong distaste for the opposite sex. She had to find a female pediatrician because I kept kicking my male doctor's shin every time he came near. When it was a woman, I was well behaved."

"She must have seen it coming when you told her you were gay then."

Adrianne inhaled through her nose and held it for a few seconds. "I honestly think she was kind of relieved in a way. Mainly because she didn't think I would ever find a man and get married to because I would kill him first. She figures that at least this way, I have a chance to find love. Because there is no way I could co-exist with a man."

"I know what you mean. Whenever I'm dating a guy, he just gets under my skin faster than anyone else. If he says something, it's always the wrong thing to say, or the wrong time. And they always want sex."

"Everyone wants sex."

Quinn rolled her eyes and leaned forward again to finish her meal. "Not like that. I mean... like right now, you and I are having a normal conversation, even if it does involve the topic of sex. But whenever I'm talking to a guy, it's always about sex and in the crudest way possible and they expect it if you talk about it. It just feels like I can't talk about it, or even joke about it, without them getting this stupid grin on their faces like they think they're getting some tonight. They just gross me out."

Adrianne smiled lightly and studied the blonde before returning her attention back to her food. "Maybe you're gay and you just haven't realized it yet." _Or maybe just not accepted it yet._

Quinn huffed a laugh. "That would explain a few things. But, no." And with that the topic was dropped. Adrianne's brow dropped at the first part of her comment.

"What things would that explain?"

The blonde stilled her fork. "What?"

"When I joked that maybe you were gay, you said that would explain a few things. What things would it explain?"

Quinn shrugged as her eyes shut out the world again. "Just why I can't stand guys when I'm dating them."

"That is a pretty big clue." Adrianne lead in, hoping Quinn would volunteer something more. She didn't want to start another fight by letting her curiosity get the best of her, so the two just fell into a silence. Adrianne watched Quinn, studied her really, as she kept her eyes away from the brunette's. Everything about her body language screamed that she was hiding something. Or was at least scared of something. After a few seconds of concerned observation, Adrianne had to look away as well, taking notice of the blonde's long, tempting neck instead of the distance in her eyes. "So..." She stated, bringing Quinn's eyes back to hers, free from any potential prying. "Editing tonight?"

"Sure. But um... can't do it at the dorm." Adrianne dropped her brow. "It's an agreement I have with my room mate. She gets Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday nights by herself. Well... and whoever else she brings back with her."

"God. You need to move out."

Quinn shook her head. "I'm saving my money. I want to get a better camera and those lenses are not cheap. And I also need to save up so I can travel when I graduate."

"So you're torturing yourself in campus dorms until then?" Quinn nodded her head. "They could be having sex in your bed right now."

Quinn cringed. "Oh my God. Why did you have to say that? I have been doing so well about bot thinking about the possibilities."

"To try and motivate you to move out."

"I told you. I can't. I can't afford a place on my own and do everything else I want to do."

"Then move in with me." Quinn's head popped up from her plate, her eyes wide in shock. Adrianne shrugged, suddenly unsure of her suggestion. "I'm by myself n a two bedroom apartment. It's lonely. I wouldn't mind the company. I wont, like, molest you in your sleep or anything. Only when you're fully awake." She teased and Quinn rolled her eyes. "I even think your bedroom door comes with a lock if you don't trust me."

"I trust you. For some very strange and undefinable reason, I trust you." The brunette couldn't help but smile. "I just... I don't know."

"Let me sweeten the deal for you. I'm already swinging the bills by myself. How? I'm not telling you. But you wont even have to pay anything more than you are now. Buy whatever food you want and anything along those lines and that's it."

Quinn narrowed her eyes. "Why wont you tell me how you're paying for everything, seeing as you don't have a job that I know of and I'm not paying you to help me out."

Adrianne shrugged. "I figured you had your secrets, I at least needed one."

"Your parents pay for everything still, don't they?"

"Yeah. As long as I'm in school, Dad pays. I'm the baby of three so I'm kind of spoiled."

"Just kind of?" Quinn teased.

"Hey. Do you want me to go into description about the things she's probably doing in your bed right now? The different bodily fluids that-"

"I will hate you forever if you finish that sentence." Quinn stated, pointing her finger across the table at the grinning brunette.

"No you wont. No one can hate me forever."

"I can manage."

"I think you're full of it. So!" She stated, ending the argument in her favor. "When are we moving you out of your tiny, over sexed dorm and into my nice, spacious, fully paid for, two bedroom apartment?"

"Tomorrow. Because I'll be surprised if I can even convince myself to lay down in that bed tonight."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: No complaints about where the chapter left off because I will be updating this Saturday. :P I'm not making you wait four days to find out what's going on. Just two. So this will be updated from now on one Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I have a lot of ground to cover so eventually there will be some mini time jumps, but not until their relationship gets established in future chapters.**

**I definitely have some of your suggestions in the works. Lots of fun and fluffy stuff mixed in with the unavoidable angsty moments, but those are in the future still. We are only just now about to start touching on the mushy stuff.**

**So thank you for everyone reading and reviewing. I'm adding Saturday so hopefully that will help get this fic out of the way so you can re read BWYDT if you were wanting to before the sequel starts. Also, if you have any suggestions on what you would like to see in _that_ fic, let me know. (loosely edited because I'm being distracted by a good conversation)**

**~/~/~/~**

Was this move impulsive? Yes. For both of them. Adrianne didn't know what had possessed her to offer, but she was glad the blonde accepted. And once Quinn walked in the door with a box in her hand and saw her new home, she was glad she did too. It was an apartment, decent size, but compared to the dorm she had be stuck in for the last three years, this was heaven. It had old, dark grained, stretched up wood floors that span the entire apartment. There was a bathroom to the left of the door and a small foyer that opened up into the living area with the kitchen on the right.

"You're bedroom is to the left off the living room. Mine is to the right off the kitchen." Adrianne explained, her voice motivating the blonde to walk a little further into the apartment to allow the brunette to enter as well. The living room looked cozy with a long tan couch, an end table at each arm and a long coffee table in front of it. The TV was against the wall her bedroom shared with the living room and a desk and computer were on the far wall. "I never use that computer and since you have the smaller bedroom, feel free to make it your editing station."

Quinn had stopped again as Adrianne disappeared into the blonde's bedroom and came out empty handed.

"Are you okay?"

The blonde nodded. "I just realized how small that dorm room was."

"Are you going through shock?"

"I think so."

"Do you need to sit down?" Adrianne took the box from her friend as she nodded her head and then slowly ventured around the living room to the sofa. The brunette smiled as she took her seat and then left to put that box with the other. When Adrianne returned, Quinn was laying on the couch. "So? How do you like it?"

"It's comfy. It's long. I can actually stretch out on it... I only have one question before I say I love it." Quinn stated as she folded her hands behind her head and crossed her ankles.

Adrianne crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame, smiling at how cute the blonde looked like that. "And what's that?"

"You haven't had sex on it, have you?"

"Not yet."

"Okay. Good. Then I love it." Quinn sat up suddenly. "Oh my God. I've known you this long and I've never asked. Are you dating anyone? Is she going to be okay with this?"

"She should be seeing as she doesn't exist." The brunette teased, waving her hand and calling for them to finish unloading Quinn's car.

"Okay. So no girlfriend... Are you looking for one?"

"Are you offering?"

Quinn laughed lightly as they exited the apartment and descended the outdoors stairs to the parking lot. "I was offering to help you find one. If you were looking. What's your type?"

_You. Which is why this move was probably the worst idea I have had in a very long time._ "Um... Someone mature, intelligent, genuine, has to have a sense of humor. If she doesn't then our relationship will never work out. I'm too damn sarcastic for anyone uptight. Someone who can hold a conversation. Someone who's patient, caring."

"Nothing about how she looks?" Quinn asked as she opened the back door of her car and handed a box to the brunette.

"No. Let's put it this way. My last girlfriend was short, blonde with brown eyes, and self described as 'chubby'. The one I dated before her was about six feet tall, super skinny, and brunette. The one before that was a stunningly gorgeous woman who was half white, half black. The one-"

"Are you a serial dater or did these span over years?" Quinn asked looking up to her from her slouched position half in her car. Adrianne had to take a second to answer that question. Not because she didn't know, but because she was staring at the blonde's ass in her peripheral vision.

"Over years. In the last six years I have had four lasting relationships. The others were just women I went on several dates with but never sparked. But what about you? Are you looking for a boyfriend?"

Quinn laughed comically and stood up, shutting the car door with her foot and following Adrianne back up the stairs. "Not looking."

"Well, on the off chance I find a guy who doesn't provide me with the desire to strangle him, what do you look for?"

"Um... I don't know. The type of guys I normally date never worked for me, so clearly I'm not the best at selecting them."

"So no cliché tall, muscular jocks, with over styled hair and supermodel smiles that don't even know how to spell their own name. That should narrow it down." Adrianne teased as she kicked their door open and walked back to the bed room.

"You make me sound shallow."

"Your choices would prove that assumption to be correct, but since you're still living by someone else's beliefs, I wont hold it against you." Quinn frowned slightly as Adrianne took the box from her and set it down with the rest. "Look around you. You live with a gay woman who is use to people disagreeing and mocking her lifestyle. I'm not going to do it to you. I would be a hypocrite. Be who you are. You're safe here. The only thing you could do that would make me think any less of you, is if you chose to continue to live your life by their rules because you're too scared to be yourself. You have no excuses anymore."

"Is this why you asked me to move in?" Quinn asked in a playful manner.

"No. I thought it would be nice having some eye-candy around."

~/~/~/~

Things had settled nicely in the apartment. Quinn had second guessed herself at first. Especially when she found out Adrianne was a bit of a nudest. She walked around in a towel or robe or just a really baggy shirt, but that was about it. Quinn didn't really mind. I mean, it was Adrianne's place but it was a little distracting sometimes. The first time it happened, Quinn had walked out of her room, seen Adrianne in nothing more than a towel, and turned around and went right back in. She wasn't sure what was making her so... effected by it. She just felt like she was somehow invading the brunette's privacy. But when it happened the second time and Adrianne just smiled at her, she realized that she didn't mind and there was nothing to worry about. The blonde had no idea that Adrianne was really just trying to silently motivate her into acceptance with her wardrobe, or lack of wardrobe.

Over the last two weeks, they had formed this odd pattern that revolved around their ability to just somehow know what the other wanted or needed. Even during the mornings while they were cooking two separate breakfasts (which turned out to be the one thing Quinn could cook), they intuitively flowed around each other, never saying anything. It was almost like a dance they did, one moving out of the way just as the other needed to be there, and both somehow finishing at the same time so they were able to sit down and eat together before heading off to class.

"So... what do you have going on today?" Adrianne asked as she picked at her eggs and bacon across the table from Quinn.

Quinn sat in her chair, only leg curled underneath her, the other pulled up to her chest as she ate her pancakes. "I have a test and that's it. I'm officially done for the day. You?"

Adrianne dropped her brow. "You seem very calm for having a exam today. You've been freaking out for, like, the last week about them all." Quinn shrugged. "Did you get laid and I don't know about it or something?"

"Ha! No. Unlike _someone_ who didn't come home until three in the morning yesterday."

"It was just a date and we only talked." Quinn arched an eyebrow and Adrianne smiled mostly at the slight flicker of jealousy she saw in those beautiful hazel eyes. "And maybe some other stuff."

"So when do I get to meet her?" Yep. Quinn was definitely jealous and wasn't doing all that great of a job at hiding it either as the light left her eyes and her smile fell slightly.

"You don't." The blonde's mouth dropped open at the rejection. "I don't think it's going to work out between us."

"Us as in you and her, or us as in you and me?"

"Me and her. What are you talking about. I get along better with you than I do my own family. You're like my other half." Quin diverted her eyes and smile down to her food. It took all of Adrianne's self-control not to lean over the table and pull the adorable blonde into a kiss. That was the real reason she didn't think she and the other girl would work out. She liked Quinn. She wanted Quinn. She just had to be patient and wait for her to figure out what she wanted, but at the same time she was human, damn it. She had needs of her own that needed to be satisfied. "So, what are you doing after your last test?"

"I have some editing I have to do."

"You always have editing you have to do."

"That's because people don't normally look as much like a model as you do in real life."

Adrianne smiled uncontrollably. "Did you just hit on me?" She teased causing Quinn to blush and look away.

"Not at all. Complimented you? Sure."

"I guess I could settle for that then."

"Good because that's all that you're getting."

"I'll take it. But if you wait until I get back from class, I'll help you out with the pictures. I'll keep you company while you go cross eyed, editing out pimples and stubble and all those other imperfections that make us human."

"Hey. It's what they're paying me for. And maybe if enough people start paying me, then I can start paying you and you can get out from under your Daddy's thumb."

"I'm not under his thumb. If anything, he's under my mother's thumb and I'm just her baby."

Quinn smiled genuinely and pointed her fork at her room mate. "You're lucky, you know that. To have parents like yours."

Adrianne nodded gently. "I know I am." Inside, her mind was screaming to ask about Quinn's parents, but she had a test in an hour. She didn't want to sabotage her. She could always ask tonight.

~/~/~/~

"Look at that smile on your face." Angela, a tall, multiracial woman teased as Adrianne approached her friend sitting in the lecture hall already. "You finally banged your roommate, didn't you?"

"Could you have just a little more class than that? And no, I haven't 'banged' Quinn yet. I'm being patient."

Angela huffed a laugh as she watched the brunette take a seat next to her. "You have no patience."

"I do for her."

The other woman pivoted and leaned back against the armrest of her chair as she studied Adrianne curiously. "I want to meet her."

"No."

"No? Don't tell me no. I want to meet her."

"But I am telling you no. You don't get to meet her until she actually comes out. You're too forceful."

The dark skinned woman cocked her head sideways. "_I'm_ too forceful? Honey, I'm a pussy cat compared to you."

Adrianne smiled brightly. "I don't think any lesbian should be able to say the word 'pussy' in normal conversation. It's just awkward to hear."

"Your mind is and will always be in the gutter, won't it?"

"It does best there."

Angela arched an eyebrow and turned back around in her seat. "If you didn't get into her pants, then why are you grinning like you did? Or did you get into someone else's pants?"

"Jealous they weren't yours?"

"Please."

"I know you like to beg, but there's no need to remind me. I mean, we did date for nearly a year. I'm well aware of that little... fetish." Adrianne grinned over her shoulder in memory of the... well, memorable nights they had shared.

"You know how good you are, so why do you always need to hear it from someone else? You know what, don't answer that. But seriously. Answer the other question."

Adrianne sat back up and readied her notebook. "I think she's coming around. Any day now and she'll accept it. Send me my toaster."

"Go get it yourself." She said flatly as Adrianne playfully nudged her with her elbow. "What makes you so certain that she's about to flip?" She asked, resting her elbow her desk and propping her chin in her hand to look at her ex. "I thought you said she was the toughest case of denial you had ever seen."

"She is. But she has already been working on moving away from whatever it is in her past that's holding her back and learning to make herself happy. One thing leads to another then to another then to-"

"Your bed?"

Adrianne pursed her lips in response. "It's not just about sex. I mean... She's killing me with how naturally sexy she is, but it's not just that I want to get her in bed. I really like her. She's intelligent, charming, has an amazing sense of humor. She just gets me."

"No one can 'get you'. You are truly unique. Forceful, yet are a softy at heart. Protective, but pushy. An absolute sex addict."

"I am not."

"You are too. You're also an emotionally complicated person, so I don't see how some chick you just met a month ago can 'get you' like that."

"But she does. I shoot a sarcastic remarks at her and she throws one right back at me. I get a little goofy and flirty, she's right there. And yes, she flirts back. She wont admit that it's actual flirting yet, but she does. She also blushes whenever I joke about certain things with her."

Angela looked out of the corner of her eye to her desk as she thought. "Well, if she does all of that, maybe she's just looking for that little push. And God knows you're good for pushing if nothing else."

"I'm good for a lot of things."

"Deflate your ego, please. It's suffocating me."

~/~/~/~

Quinn swore she was starting to go cross eyed staring at the computer screen. She leaned back in her chair and ran her hands down her face as she groaned. Just as she finished letting out her frustrations, she heard Adrianne walk in the door. She looked over her shoulder and was met with a big smile. The brunette always seemed to be smiling, just like...

"So, are you ready to throw the computer out of the window yet?"

"Just about." Quinn stated, turning around to look at the screen as Adrianne approached, grabbing a chair on her way.

"Good. Because the asshole from upstairs is parked right outside and if you throw it hard enough, you could hit his car." Quinn actually thought about it. There was a guy that lived right above them that gave his bed a workout every other night. Adrianne had already pissed him off in the past and Quinn's plea to respect his neighbors was responded with an offer to show her what he was doing to cause all that noise. She nearly threw up in her mouth. That was also the night she found out just how protective Adrianne could be, having to nearly hold the woman in their apartment so she didn't run upstairs and give him a piece of her mind. Thankfully, just a simple touch could snap her out of her rage.

"I'll think about it. How were you classes?"

"Boring, as usual. How was your test?"

"Piece of cake."

"What kind?"

"Hmm... I think it was angel food cake."

"Nice. Saintly even."

"So, are you going to entertain me while I finish up this series?"

"Of course. I can't allow you to suffer alone."

Quinn smiled out of the side of her mouth and went back to work. This was one of the biggest pluses of their friendship. The could talk about anything. While Quinn was use to keeping quiet or having to talk around certain topics or people's emotions. Adrianne just didn't give a shit. If what you said wasn't what she agreed with, okay. Not a problem. She'd listen to why you thought what you did and try and explain why she didn't. She didn't get worked up over it. It was all honestly, healthy, and open discussion which allowed them to talk non stop for hours on end. There was no fear of being judge. No fear of upsetting her or hurting her feelings and then spending the rest of the night with a guilty conscious. Being around Adrianne was... freeing.

The blonde moaned and dropped her forehead to her arm that was resting on the desk top.

"Oh come one now. You're almost done." Adrianne comforted her, taking the opportunity to scoot over and gently run her hand through the blonde locks. Quinn didn't pull away so she just continued. Once the blonde did sit up and look at her, she let her hand rest on her shoulder, the back of her fingers barely grazing her neck.

Adrianne couldn't even stop the faint smile on her lips let alone the impulses she had been denying for the last month and leaned forward, pressing her lips gently to Quinn's. The reaction was instant and Quinn stood up, knocking her chair over as soon as their skin touched. "What are you doing?"

The brunette remained in her seat, mouth hanging open as her brain searched for a reply. She could have sworn this was what Quinn was wanting, expecting even. "I was... I just thought that..."

"Whatever you thought... you thought wrong." Quinn stated, her back pressed against the window as if she thought that was a logical escape route.

Adrianne slowly stood up and Quinn slid further against the wall, closer to her bedroom. "Quinn, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I just thought that you were feeling the same thing."

"I'm not gay. You can be gay and that's... you know, that's cool. I don't judge you." She explained nervously as she made her way around the room, keeping her distance from the brunette who turned as the blonde circled her. "I just need you to respect that I'm not."

"Of course, I just thought that-"

"I'm not." Quinn stated forcefully, pointing her index finger towards Adrianne who could only nod her head. Angela had definitely been wrong. Quinn was not ready. The blonde bounced her hand toward Adrianne. "I'm not."

"Okay."

"But umm... right now, I just... I just need to go."

"Quinn, look. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I-" She stopped as her friend held up her palm, silencing her.

"I know. I just need some air. Time to... I just need to go."

Adrianne didn't know what to say, or do, or even think as she watched Quinn walk out the door. The only positive thing she could think about was the fact that Quinn would have to come back if for nothing more than to pick up her stuff. At least it would be an opportunity to talk to her once the shock wore off.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I've actually dedicated this chapter to one of my readers. Valvox. Why? Because when I read the comment you left me about our babies, I burst out into laughter... while waiting in line to buy a drink and some snacks in a silent gas station on my way home from my mini vacation. I had about twenty people stop what they were doing to look at me like I was crazy... thank you. Lol. And I'm posting this as early as I can for you.**

**Hopefully you will all enjoy this. Things are finally starting to take off. It wont be completely smooth sailing but we are going to start seeing the blending of the old Quinn and BWYDT Quinn in the next several chapters. We get to see how Adrianne responds to really learning about the blonde she has developed this crush on. That's all within the next week though. Not tonight. :P**

**Thank you for reading and reviewing. Hope you enjoy. (Loosely edited so I could post it sooner)**

**~/~/~/~**

Quinn finally made it back to the apartment about midnight and Adrianne shot up from the place on the couch that she had been sitting for the last few hours. The blonde stopped in silence and the two shared a look. Adrianne's eyes were asking if everything was okay, while Quinn's seemed to be searching her for some sort of answer to a question she had yet to ask. "Are you drunk?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and even smiled faintly before she took off her coat. "No. I didn't have my bodyguard with me."

"Right. I just wasn't sure if that applied in this case..."

"Adrianne..." The brunette shuffled on her feet, eager to see what her crushes' night of soul searching had yielded. "I'm okay. I just need to know that you aren't going to do something like that again. While I am flattered by your interest, I'm not gay."

She tried to hide it as she deflated. "Right. No, I wont try and do that again. I didn't mean to cause you to feel uncomfortable. I guess I was just reading the wrong signs." She was sure she wasn't, but that was what Quinn needed to hear at the moment. "And I'll completely understand if you start locking your bedroom door at night. I'll try not to take it personally."

Quinn huffed a laugh and hung her jacket up. "I don't think that is necessary. To be honest, if a woman had done that to me a month ago, I would have completely freaked out and done everything in my power to make sure I never saw her again. But you're different."

"I'm different?" Adrianne asked nervously, shifting her eyes around the room and placing her hands in her back jean pockets before returning her eyes to the blonde's. This was a good sign and she was trying not to grin like a teenager in love.

"Yeah. I mean, before, I would have felt that keeping my distance from you was what I was suppose to do, but now... I'm not going by what I'm 'suppose' to do, but what I want to do. You're like, the closest friend I've had in years. Possibly in my life. I'm not going to cut you out of my life just because of a misunderstanding. I just need you to respect my sexuality as much as I respect yours."

Adrianne nodded. "Yeah. Sure. Of course. I, um... I will keep my hands and lips to myself unless you start it first." Quinn smiled with a little blush as she dropped her eyes again. "Was that not respecting your 'straightness'?"

"No. That was just you being you." The blonde stated, finally taking another step further into the apartment. "I can deal with that."

"Well, that's good. I might be able to keep my hands off of you but I've always had issues keeping my mouth shut." Quinn gasped playfully and went wide eyed. "I know. It's shocking, isn't it?"

"Completely. I would have never guessed."

"Sure you wouldn't have. So... now that I know you aren't off drunk and having to try a push an army of guys off of you, I think I will head off to bed."

"Okay." Quinn nodded and waved her hand slightly. "I think I will as well. The cold air has made me a little sleepy."

"Then I guess I'll see you in the morning." She nodded again and Adrianne walked toward her bedroom, keeping the distance of the apartment between them so she didn't freak the blonde out any more. She kept the soft smile on her face until she disappeared into her room and shut the door and frowned. It started as a low growl and she fell face first onto her bed and then muffled her cry of frustration in her pillow. What was taking Quinn so long? They had known each other for over a month, lived together peacefully, she said she was the best friend she had ever had, she's complimented her and been complimented by her, she's blushed, giggled, flirted... Adrianne decided it was Angela's fault. Not really, but she would still blame her anyway. She had gotten the brunette's hope up that all it would take was that little kiss. At least it didn't ruin anything. Adrianne would just have to keep waiting.

The thought made the older woman let out a long sigh as she rolled over on her back to stare at her ceiling fan. She didn't know how much longer she was going to last. Quinn did things to her, made her feel different compared to everyone else that she had dated in the past. She felt... understood on so many different levels. And that only caused her attraction to the beautiful and sexy blonde to escalate.

Quinn walked into her room and shut the door as well, but didn't make it to her bed. She leaned backward against the door and dropped her head back to bounce against it as she let out an identical sigh. That kiss... that fraction of a second connection... she knew it had changed her life forever. She just needed to decide when she would let the rest of the world know it. Or let herself believe it without trying to mold it into being something else like friendship or admiration. Tomorrow? Next week? Never? She closed her hazel eyes and slowly slid down the door until she was sitting with her knees against her chest and her head in her hands.

This had never been such a problem before. Just ignore it. It had always been so simple, but not now. Not with Adrianne. She just put everything right in front of the blonde and told her to just reach out and take it. It was the ultimate temptation because there were no strings attached, nothing to run from. She didn't have to worry about her parents disowning her; she had disowned them. She didn't have to worry about her friends' approval; she didn't have any. All she had to do was take it, everything that she had wanted.

Quinn sighed again and stood up, pulling her shirt over her head to get ready for bed. She may have just needed to take it, but that still required the courage to do it.

~/~/~/~

"I hate you." Adrianne stated flatly as she walked up to where Angela was sitting. The woman didn't pay her any attention. "I kissed her."

Angela's light eyes lifted to the brunette's as she took a seat and her mouth hung open. "Why the hell did you do that?"

"You said all she needed was a little push."

"I said that she_ may_ need a little push. There's a difference. You were suppose to use your better judgment. I don't know the girl."

Adrianne rolled her eyes and dropped her bag in a huff.

"So, that bad, huh?"

"She nearly climbed out the window, stayed out most of the night, and then could barely look at me this morning."

There was an awkward silence between the former lovers until Angela shrugged gently. "Well, is there any chance that she's actually straight?"

"No."

"You sound certain."

"I am. I can't tell you how many times I've seen her checking out my ass or my boobs."

"That doesn't always make someone gay." Adrianne looked at her with an arched eyebrow. "Okay. Most of the time it does, but maybe she's one of those rare exceptions."

"She's not." Adrianne stated forcefully, in a bit of a huff as she pulled out her notebook and readied herself for the lecture to begin. "She's just in denial."

Angela studied her for a long second out of the corner of her eye until Adrianne got frustrated and looked at her, wanting her to just ask the question already. "Is this about winning for you? You wont be happy until she accepts it or something?"

"No. I mean, I want her to accept it but that's only because she's making herself miserable. But I genuinely like her. She gets-"

"Gets you. Yeah, I remember you saying that." The dark skinned woman stated, bitterly.

"Oh... you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous. You and I are over."

Adrianne smirked and stared as her ex turned in her seat and started writing notes. "We are and you called it off. Is that why you wanted to meet her so badly?"

"No."

"I think it is."

"I think you are hallucinating. I'm interested as your friend."

"Uh-huh."

"Adrianne..."

"What?"

"You're missing the lecture and you're staring is really starting to get on my nerves."

Adrianne continued to stare at the woman until she looked up at her again. "Admit it."

"Fine. I am mildly jealous. You and I are over and yes, I did call it off. No, I don't want to be with you again. It's just the principal of the thing. You're my latest ex and you have feelings for someone. I'm happy for you but still... there is that awkwardness."

The brunette looked down to her papers. "Yeah, I know. But do you have any other suggestions on how to help her realize things any faster?"

Angela sat back in her seat and tapped her pen against her desk. "Make her jealous. That will get the emotions flowing. I'm not saying bring a chick home and fuck her so Quinn has to listen to it all night. I'm just saying... maybe she catches you making out with a woman instead. That should be enough."

Adrianne pursed her lips in deliberation. "I think I could do that."

"Make out with someone? I'm sure you could manage that just fine."

"Are you offering?" She teased with a grin.

Angela glared at her. "Not hardly."

~/~/~/~

"So, what are you doing tonight? Editing?" Adrianne asked teasingly as she sat down on the sofa next to Quinn. It had been a week since she tried to kiss the blonde. Things had pretty much gone back to normal, but Quinn had retreated into her shell a little bit. She didn't seem uncomfortable around Adrianne, just... more aware of their interactions. It was killing the brunette because every time it happened, she just wanted to try and ease her fears, coax her back out. But that would only cause the blonde to pull away again. She decided that if this whole jealousy thing didn't work, she'd just leave her alone and wait.

Adrianne had stayed up for hours one night when she realized that she was willing to actually wait for someone. She had always said she would wait for Quinn, but only now did she realize just how out of character it was for her. She never waited. If someone wasn't on the same page as her, then it was their loss. It wasn't the thrill of the chase that had her hooked either. It was something different. She just instantly cared. I mean, she always cared about people, but this was a deeper caring. She wanted to be the one that was there for Quinn, not just to help her through whatever she was dealing with silently, but for anything that would come after that. She wanted to be the one to just hold her and keep away the stress and pain of the outside world. But first, she needed Quinn to realize if she wanted that as well or not.

"I was actually going to head out to the library. I need to grab a few books for a history paper. You?"

Adrianne shrugged. "Nothing much. Just a date."

"A date?" Quinn asked, trying not to sound too interested. "Same girl as last time?"

Adrianne shook her head. "No. I told you things wouldn't work out with her. This is a different one. She's actually in your psychology class. The blonde that sits in the center of the third row and always wears those incredibly low cut tops."

Quinn swallowed hard. "Where are you taking her?" Her voice was weaker than she was expecting and Adrianne had to try and hide her smile.

"I haven't decided yet. It's our first date so I might just stick with dinner, but a movie might be nice too." The blonde only nodded in response. "So... when do you think you will be home tonight?"

"Do I need to find somewhere else to stay?"

"What? No! No. I'm..." Adrianne laughed nervously. "I'm not the type to just randomly hook up with someone. If anything goes down it would only be kissing. I was just asking so I could have her out of here before then. I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. That's all." And jealous.

Quinn shrugged but wouldn't look up after she dropped her eyes back down to the book in her lap. "Why would I be uncomfortable. I told you I wasn't homophobic."

"Right. I was just thinking because this is our space, and after what happened-"

"Nothing happened." Quinn tried to laugh it off. "It was a misunderstanding, right?"

Adrianne nodded and propped her elbow on the back of the couch, her fingers running through her hair. "Right. Okay then. I wont worry about it if you're not uncomfortable with it." Quinn forced herself to smile faintly, meeting Adrianne's eyes before dropping them back down to her book.

Later that night, Quinn dreaded going home. She trusted Adrianne's word that she wouldn't walk in on her having sex, but she still didn't really want to walk in on the brunette being intimate at any level with someone. It was making her uncomfortable, but not in a way that she was willing to admit. But as always, she pushed it down and tried to ignore it. It was Adrianne's apartment. Adrianne's life. She had no reason to not want the older woman to find a connection with someone... else.

Quietly she turned the key and opened the door quietly, hoping she could sneak into her room unnoticed. She didn't want to meet the woman's date. It was going to be hard enough not burning a hole into the back of her head in class the next day. Quinn pulled off her jacked and hung it up just inside the door before shouldering her bag and making her way further into the apartment. She stopped, however, at the first moan. One more step and she peeked around the corner to see Adrianne sitting sideways on the couch, the other blonde sitting in front of her, a leg on each side of her hips.

Quinn couldn't look away as she watched the two share deep kisses. Her eyes followed as Adrianne's hand ran down the girl's side to the small of her back, and how the blonde reacted to the touch, arching into the brunette's body. Quinn wanted that. She wanted to be the one so into the kiss that when she pulled away to get air, it was only a quick gasp before their lips reconnected. She wanted to be the one to have those gentle warm hands on her, feeling them against her skin. She wanted to know how Adrianne kissed. Their kiss had been too brief to find out even that much. The other blonde looked like she was already addicted...

Adrianne smiled into the next kiss and leaned forward, laying her date back on the couch and bringing her other hand up to the armrest for support as she hovered over her. The smile was enough to form a lump in Quinn's throat and cause her to retreat, leaving her bag but grabbing her jacket as she headed back out the door.

~/~/~/~

By midnight, Adrianne was getting worried. She had already sent her date home when Quinn didn't show up and the other blonde was starting to push for more. She knew Quinn was reserved and knowing that Adrianne had had sex with someone she had just met would probably be a very big turn off for her. She had tried calling Quinn's cell phone but she never picked up. Now she was about to grab her jacket and start a one woman man search, but she heard a knock at the door.

"Adrianne..." It was Quinn. "I can't find my keys. Can you open the door?"

The brunette let her tense shoulders fall and rolled her eyes before hanging up her coat again and moving to the door. Adrianne opened the door and didn't even have time to say how worried she had been before Quinn's hands were on her face and her lips were crushed against hers as the blonde nearly tackled her to the ground in her eagerness. She couldn't even speak. When she opened her mouth, Quinn pushed her tongue in and began a feverish exploration which Adrianne surrendered to, closing the door and then backing Quinn up against it. One hand pressed against the cold door while the other rested on the blonde's upper back.

She moaned and matched Quinn's passion taking in every sensation in fear that it would end at any second, but there was something familiar to the foreign taste of the younger woman's mouth. "You're drunk." Adrianne managed to say, pulling away, only to have Quinn follow and pull her back against the door.

"I am."

Adrianne pulled her mouth away again, painfully wanting to continue. "I'm not doing this with you if you're drunk."

Quinn huffed a laugh and didn't allow the brunette to walk away, arching her body to give her more contact and more temptation. "Yes you are." She whispered, staring at the older woman's mouth with a smirk of her own. "Because you want me."

Adrianne growled in her frustration, knowing she was right. Even as she stood there and debated in her mind, her hand was drifting down to the blonde's lower back, pulling her even closer. The brunette dropped her forehead to her hand on the door over Quinn's shoulder and tried to find the strength to pull away as the other woman ran her fingers through her hair and placed light kisses along her jaw line. "Why can't you be sober?"

"Because I'm a coward."

"You're not a coward." She corrected her, lifting her head to see those hazel eyes. "You're scared but you're not a coward. But you have nothing to be afraid of anymore."

"I can't be gay."

"Yes you can be. Clearly you are and that's okay." Quinn shook her head and tried to pull out of Adrianne's grasp to storm off, unable to listen to this now, but the brunette just pulled her closer. "Quinn, stop."

"No." She tried to pull away again, pushing against Adrianne's shoulders but she wouldn't let go and they began to struggle with each other.

"Stop. Just stop."

"No! I can't be. It's not right. It's wrong. It's a sin and you're going to Hell!" She continued to push and twist in the brunette's arms as the tears poured down her face and she eventually gave in to them. She sobbed and allowed Adrianne to cradle her, shushing her and gently running her hand over her head as the blonde leaned into her shoulder. "I can't be."

"You can't keep pretending you're not, Quinn. Look at what it's doing to you." She whispered as her heart went out to the blonde who was breaking in her arms. "I know you're scared, but you're not alone. I'm here." Adrianne tightened her gentle hold and felt Quinn sink into it further, feeling the comfort and security that she was offering and that the younger woman was needing so desperately. She held her there for what seemed like an hour until Quinn finally lifted her head and wiped away the tear residue from her cheeks.

"I'm sorry." It was barely a whisper.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Adrianne assured her as the blonde covered her face in embarrassment. The older woman brushed the stray strands of golden hair out of her face that had come loose from their pony tail during their struggle. "So... is this why you always want a body guard when you're drunk?"

Quinn laughed lightly and dropped her hands. She mashed her lips between her teeth and shook her head. "No. Not exactly."

"Well, maybe one day you'll feel comfortable enough with me to share that piece on information." She couldn't even look Adrianne in the eyes for more than a second at a time so Adrianne pulled her into another light hug, easing her fears further. "You're not alone. Just remember that. There are people going through the same thing and people who are going to support you as well."

"I just... this goes against everything that I have ever been taught. I'm not suppose to feel this way about you or about girls in general."

Adrianne had to calm her heart after hearing the confirmation that Quinn had feelings for her as well. "So some people say."

"So the Bible says."

"Oh, you mean that book that a bunch of men put together from stories several hundred years old? But if you really want to use that as your justification, then I hate to break it to you... but you're already going to Hell." The blonde stepped back and looked at her in confusion. Adrianne grabbed her wrist and pulled back the bracelet she had on her right arm. "You have a tattoo. The Bible states that God commands that you are not allowed to cut yourself or tattoo yourself. It may be faint, but it's still there. And maybe you can explain to me one day what 'what words miss' actually means, because I can't figure it out for the life of me."

Quinn stared at her wrist for a second and then quickly pulled it from the brunette's hands, unaware that she had seen it before. "I don't remember that in the Bible."

"Leviticus. My mother is a very Catholic woman." She explained with a bounce of her head. "Yet, she loves me and is supportive of me as well. So, like I said, there are people who are going to support you." Quinn still didn't seem to settled on the Bible topic. "Come have a seat and let me tell you a few other things that the Bible says."

Reluctant, yet interested, Quinn followed and took a seat on Adrianne's bed with her.

"Also in Leviticus, and I will even loosely quote: 'You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your fields with two kinds of seeds, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together.' And I would bet good money that the shirt you are wearing has more than one material."

Quinn sat stunned. "I've been taught the Bible and I don't remember hearing any of that."

"Ah! That's because you were 'taught' the Bible. If you ever want your eyes opened to what you are so bent on living your life by, try reading it. Hell, even that gold cross you're wearing is a sin. I quote: 'I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly gems.' You're just racking them right on up there. And I bet you you're righteous Mommy and Daddy were even the one's that bought you that sparkly cross. Did you ever go against your parents wishes before?"

The blonde laughed and nervously ran her hand through her hair, pulling it loose from her hair band before propping her arm against the back of the sofa. "Once or twice."

"Then the Bible says they should have stoned you to death. A little harsh, don't you think?"

"If they were to stone me, wouldn't they be committing a sin by killing me?"

"Don't you love the Bible. Because that_ isn't_ a sin. They have God's permission to put you through a brutal and painful death... but you can't wear that gold cross. So... yes, the Bible says that homosexuality is wrong. But it also says that people can't have round hair cuts. Your thoughts?"

"I think... I might want to actually read the Bible... when I'm sober. Because right now my head is spinning a little bit."

Adrianne leaned over and patted her hand on the blonde's thigh. "Let me know how that goes for you and if you are maybe interested in trying to redo the earlier events of this evening."

Quinn smiled faintly and blushed a bit as Adrianne stood up.

"But if nothing else... can we work on this storm off thing and not coming back until after midnight. I care about you and you make me worry. Also, drink some water before you pass out on the couch. It will help with your hangover in the morning."

"Really?"

The brunette nodded and turned, heading to her bedroom. "You have a lot of life to catch up on."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Just a short author's notes tonight. My brain is about fried and I can't remember if there was really anything I needed to tell you or warn you about... or if there were any questions either... So, I think I will stick with just thanking you all very, very much for reading this story. While this and at least the next chapter are pretty much 'the day after' the previous, there will be little time jumps like there was in the beginning of a week here or there. We have three years to cover and I'm not wanting this story to get nearly as long as BWYDT. **

**Oh, I did need to get a vote (no poll, just leave me a comment) if you want a little bit of Quinn's harlot phase tacked on to the end of this or not. Just let me know what you would like to see and I will do it.**

**So thank you for reading and especially reviewing. It is such motivation. Hope you enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

"I couldn't even get through it." Adrianne looked up from the papers on her desk to find Quinn standing in front of her, full of energy. As if someone had given her a new reason to live. She hadn't heard from the blonde all weekend long. Quinn had been held up in her room and Adrianne was beginning to think that things were going to be more difficult to navigate in order just to rescue their friendship. "I actually found myself completely pissed off at it."

"The Bible?"

"Yeah. I felt horrible about it at first." She continued, sitting down next to the brunette who reclined back in her chair to listen intently to what her crush had to say. "I felt like a truly horrible Christian because I was getting mad at the word of God, but... I just can't see it as the word of God, who is suppose to be all loving. Instead of loving His children as they are, it tells you countless things that you can't do in order to continued to be loved by Him. The book doesn't match the imagine I was raised with."

"That's because the image you were raised with, you were shown to make it more appealing. If you feel guilty for not listening and obeying, then when you're told to do something that you don't agree with, you aren't going to question it because you feel guilty for even considering disobeying. Religion... now whether this was what it was intended for or not, I don't know. This is just my opinion. But religion seems to be nothing more, or has _become_ nothing more, than a tool of manipulation. It's a way to control people. If you can control their guilt and control their fear, then you have complete control over the person."

Quinn stared at her for a second as her mind raced back to high school. That was what she did. That's how she kept everyone in place in the beginning of her high school life. She played on people's insecurities and fears of not being accepted in order to keep herself on top. But that had changed at the end of her Junior year and into her Senior year. She had gotten tired of it and no longer saw the benefit of it because it made her unhappy. Now she found herself in the same position. She doesn't believe what the book says, only what people had once told her it said. So does she continue to live by someone else's manipulation, or follow her own beliefs again.

"Would you like to go out on a date with me?"

Adrianne sat in silence as she replayed the question in her mind. "I'm sorry, what?"

Quinn sat forward, very confident in her body language. "I asked if you would like to go out on a date with me."

"You're serious?"

"Well, if you don't want to, that's fine. I wont take it too personally. I just thought after you kissed me and your reaction to when I kissed you, that you would be more interested."

"I am." Adrianne assured her quickly not wanting to blow her chance. "I'm just... I was expecting you to take more time to accept... this."

"I'm not completely comfortable with it. And I'll probably spend most of the date looking around and worrying if people think we are actually dating, but... I know what direction I'm heading in. It just may take me some time to get there."

"And this is your first step?"

The blonde shrugged. "As long as you don't have anything against waiting as I stumble my way there."

Adrianne sat back and smiled as she studied the younger woman before her. "When you decide something, you go all out for it, don't you?"

"That was one lesson my parents taught me that I think I might keep. If you want something, go get it. I want to be happy. I want to find that inner peace, and I can honestly say, I've never been closer to it than when I'm around you."

"You are one smooth operator and you probably don't even realize it."

Quinn smiled devilishly, knowing she had the gift when she wanted to use it. She used it to control her boyfriends, keeping them at bay but still interested. But now if felt different. She was using it to reel someone in without a barrier to keep them back. She actually wanted this woman's attention and approval. "So... should I take your lack of response as a 'no'?"

Adrianne pondered the question needlessly. "I think I would be interested, but lets keep it something casual. How about Dino's pizza place down town?"

"Tonight?"

"Six?"

"I'll pick you up."

"Pretty easy seeing as we live together."

Quinn confidence fell once she was walking with Adrianne into the pizza hub. Just like she said she would, her eyes drifted over everyone in the building, wondering if those meeting her eyes were thinking about why she was there with Adrianne. That was, until Adrianne cut off her line of vision, standing incredibly close and pulling her hazel eyes up to hers with a warm smile. "Who cares if they know? What are they going to do? Tell you it's a sin? Then you can tell them that the clothes they are wearing is a sin as well. Or the jewelry. Hell, probably even the food. I doubt that cheese came from a pure bred cow."

Quinn laughed and her nerves were eased. That was something that she like about Adrianne. Something that she hadn't experienced with anyone else before. She instantly knew what Quinn needed to hear or what she needed to be done. It's like their personalities were linked together.

"How do you stay so calm?"

Adrianne fought with a strand of cheese from the bite of pizza she had just taken and lifted her finger, asking for a second before she answered. "I'm not all that calm of a person actually. I'm rather emotional. When I'm happy, I'm ecstatic. When I'm angry, I'm pissed. I just know who I am and have a lot less to worry about when it comes to other's eyes. I don't care what they think about me because I've already accepted the fact that you can't please everyone. There's always going to be something that they don't like about you. It's futile to try harder than what makes you happy." Quinn nodded her head and took in the information. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

The blonde dropped her eyes to the pizza on her plate. "You can ask, and I will try and answer."

"Honesty. I like it. Okay, you're twenty-one right?" Quinn nodded her head. "I find you to be very mature for your age. Is there any particular reason for that or have you always been mature?"

"I have definitely_ not_ always been mature. I've actually been very immature most of my life while thinking that I was acting more mature. But uh... there is a reason."

"But you're not ready to explain it to me yet?" Quinn shook her head. "Alright. Not to pressure you, but just to run down the mental list I have. You are still holding out on discussing your relationship with your parents, why you wont drink unless you have a body guard, and why you seem so mature for your age... _and_ your fear of being alone."

"If it makes it easier for you to handle, they all relate back to just one thing. So it's not that I'm avoiding telling you _any_thing..."

"Just one thing?"

"Exactly."

Adrianne nodded her head and let the silence settle. She didn't want to push too much too soon, but she knew Quinn needed motivation. "Well, can I ask _why_ you are holding that one thing back?" Quinn opened her mouth to speak and then realized that the reason was because she was worried about what Adrianne was going to think. She dropped her head and shook it. "Are you embarrassed or ashamed of whatever this reason is?"

"Kind of. I'm just not looking for people to assume things about me based upon one choice. I'm not really embarrassed by it. It's hard to explain."

"Okay." Adrianne wiped her hands on her napkin and looked up as she lost herself in her thoughts. "I've been arrested." The confession caught Quinn off guard. "Whenever I apply for a job and I have to check that little box saying that I have a criminal record or been convicted of something or whatever it says, I feel ashamed and embarrassed in a sense, because I know what people are assuming. They think that I stole something or that I was busted with drugs or something drastic along those lines."

"What did you do?"

Adrianne shook her head. "Nothing. I let a friend borrow my car and she got two parking tickets in one day. She never paid them or even told me about them. Needless to say, they didn't know it was her and attached the car to me. With the tickets not being paid, they suspended my license. I was pulled over for having a tail light out and when they ran my information, they discovered I was driving with a suspended license. News to me. So, yeah. I was arrested. My car was towed and I had to post like, a five hundred dollar bail. And now I have to check that stupid little box that gives everyone every reason to believe that I am a legitimate criminal."

"Please tell me you're not friends with that person anymore."

"Hell no." The brunette looked at her like she was crazy.

"Good."

"But I know what you're saying. People take one little thing and assume the worst, never looking at who you are; your values and beliefs, but just write you off. People can make one mistake and learn from them. I've seen it happen all the time."

Quinn looked down at her food again and then back up to Adrianne who waited patiently, but unassuming. "I have a daughter."

Okay, she wasn't expecting that. Quinn caught the slight hesitation in her date's chewing but gave her time to take a sip of her soda and collect her thoughts. "You have a daughter?"

"Well, I don't _have_ her, obviously. I gave her up for adoption when she was born. I made a mistake and betrayed my beliefs and values because of my insecurities and ended up pregnant at sixteen. A male 'friend' of mine got me drunk and talked me into having sex with him."

Adrianne sat back and nodded slowly. "So that's why you want someone around that you trust whenever you drink."

"Right. When my super religious parents found out that not only was I no longer their pure virgin daughter, but pregnant... they threw me out of the house."

Adrianne's brow dropped and she shook her head quickly. "Hold up. Your parents threw their sixteen year old,_ pregnant_ daughter on the streets?"

Quinn nodded her head, looking down to her food again. "I went to live with my boyfriend who I had convinced that the baby was his. And don't ask how. As a gold star lesbian it would only gross you out. But someone told him it wasn't his and he kicked me out as well, so I went to live with the real father of the baby."

"The ass who took advantage of you?"

The blonde shrugged her shoulders as she found Adrianne to get more and more upset as the story went on. "I didn't have anywhere else to go."

"No other friends?"

"They all shunned me or took advantage of my fall from grace. I come from a very small, conservative town where doing anything that is considered outside of the lines leaves you open to an immense amount of torment and teasing. I should know, I was the one doing it most of the time."

"And that's why you don't like talking about your parents and you are afraid to be alone... again. It's also further explanation of why you were so afraid to come out as gay." Quinn shifted her eyes around to make sure no one had heard. "Sorry."

She closed her eyes. "No. It's okay. I shouldn't be ashamed of it. I just..."

"It will take some time. You have a lot to work through." Adrianne stated with a new understanding. Quinn wasn't just in denial like she had originally thought. This woman was damaged. "You're actually moving pretty fast."

Quinn knew it was true but she was still frustrated with herself. There were moments when she was open with Adrianne about herself that she just felt so free and unrestricted. She was so close to happy but was hit by a sudden wave of anxiety and fears steaming from her past. She saw where she wanted to go but just couldn't seem to make her legs move in that direction. "Thank you for being this patient with me."

"Hey, I know how it is. I struggled all through high school with it. I grew up in a religious house hold too. My father still doesn't like my choices. Every time I call home or visit, he has another guy he's trying to set me up with."

Quinn huffed a laugh at the man's denial. "How long have you been out?"

"Since I was nineteen. Everyone moves at their own pace. No two people are alike. Some people don't come out until their forty and married with children. Don't rush yourself, but don't let your fears hold you back either."

~/~/~/~

"Oh, look at you." Adrianne teased as Quinn rushed over and opened the car door for her. "Aren't you chivalrous."

"Is that okay? Does that make me... what is the term... am I a butch lesbian?" The blonde asked with a smile, much more comfortable with things after an amazing date with the most supportive woman she had ever encountered.

The brunette laughed as Quinn shut the door with a smile and began slowly walking her date to their door. "No. That just makes you sweet."

"Well, I just know how a lady should be treated. And since we are both ladies, I thought I would take it upon myself to show you how I believe you should be treated." Adrianne couldn't even look at Quinn without wanting to pull her into a kiss as she fell further for her adorable nature. Quinn was just... perfect. That smile lit up a room. Those eyes spoke volumes. Her laugh was heartwarming. And now that she wasn't hold as much back, Adrianne felt like she was seeing her for the first time all over again. She diverted her eyes to the ground as they reached her door and Quinn looked behind her nervously. She wasn't looking for anyone that she feared seeing them, she just wasn't use to being the one to make the first move. This shouldn't even be making her nervous, they had already kissed, but now she didn't have the excuse of alcohol behind it. It also made it a little awkward that afterward they would be walking into the same apartment, just different bedrooms.

With one last deep breath of confidence, Quinn stepped closer, pulling Adrianne's attention up just enough that she could lean in and lightly press their lips together. It was the first of many things. It was Quinn's first date with a woman. Her first sober and consenting kiss with a woman. And the first time she had ever made a move on a woman. The kiss was a tentative connection without any real passion. Adrianne was allowing her to adjust to the idea and then Quinn pulled away just enough to get a breath of air before leaning into another.

When their lips met this time, it was in a real kiss. Quinn felt her heart jump into her throat and she instantly gasped for the breath that she felt be sucked from her lungs, but Adrianne grabbed her coat and pulled her back into another caress. Quinn took a step closer so their bodies were flush up against each other and struggled to remove her hands from her jacket pockets, needing to touch this woman who was sending her through sensations that she had never encountered before. They didn't rush the kisses and only deepened them slightly as Quinn pulled the slightly taller brunette closer with gentle hands on her hips, needing more of whatever she was doing. It seemed forever that they stood there kissing and Quinn's body was so heated she was almost ready to shed her coat in the cool autumn night.

Adrianne was the first to pull away, leaning back lightly as Quinn unconsciously leaned forward, her lips still looking for more. The blonde just stared at the reddened lips before her as she panted to catch her breath. "I am so gay."

"Yeah, and you're a really good kisser too." Quinn smiled and leaned in for another round but Adrianne turned her head. "I think we should move a little slower."

The blonde stood up straight and furrowed her brow. "Kissing is too much?"

The brunette laughed in amusement. "No. But what is likely to happen if you kiss me again right now might be." Adrianne could see the smirk on the other woman's face before she even looked at her. "So, how about we just say goodnight and I'll see you in the morning?"

"Okay. Goodnight."

"I'll see you in the morning."

They both walked into the apartment, one right after the other.

~/~/~/~

Quinn had hardly slept that night, causing her to sleep in late. She nearly ran out of the door to get to class, not just because she needed to get to class, but because it was a class where Adrianne would be. The brunette had already left before Quinn emerged from her bedroom, so this was the first time she was going to get to see her since their time spent at the front door. She felt like a little kid running to the living room on Christmas to open her presents. She probably looked like one two with the big grin on her face.

She was happy. She didn't even know what she was going to say or do when she got there and saw Adrianne, but she was still excited. Should she walk right up to her or wait until after class? Should she greet her with a kiss? Or is that too much too soon? Did she really need to broadcast their relationship like that? Was it a relationship? Were they dating? Was she ready for people to know that she was gay? All these questions which should be terrifying her just rolled off her back. She didn't care and it felt great.

Quinn may not have been running when she walked into the building, but her legs were moving so fast that she was actually breathing hard. She peaked through the class room door and saw Adrianne down in the front row, far off to the side, already busy at work. The blonde took a few deep breaths to regain her cool composure before she opened the door and walked in. Her eyes were glued to the back of the brunette's head as she willed her to look up. Their eyes met and Quinn received a smile that pretty much meant 'kiss me'.

"Good morning." Adrianne greeted as she stood up and hugged the blonde, gently wrapping her arms around her neck as Quinn's fit around her waist. The brunette tilted her head and whispered in her ear. "You really need to stop smiling like that or people are going to think you got laid last night."

Quinn laughed nervously and kissed her cheek as they pulled apart. "Let them think what they will, right?"

Adrianne's smile deepened and she leaned in to a proper kiss, holding the connection for several heart pounding seconds. "Right." Quinn set her bag down and took the seat next to the brunette, not even caring if anyone in the class saw them. So what? She never spoke to them anyway. "If you sit there then you wont pay attention to anything he says and I wont get any work done." Adrianne warned as Quinn pulled out her notebook.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing that his TA has a crush on me. I'm pretty sure I could get her to fix some of my grades."

"Really? Because I heard she is a law student and that would be completely unethical."

"Yeah, but I also hear that she was arrested for something and even spent time in jail. How ethical can she be?"

Adrianne's smile grew to cover her whole face. Not only was Quinn a quick wit, but now that she wasn't worried about flirting, she was very charming. "But what about me getting my work done? I have a lot of papers I have to grade still."

"You can do those tomorrow night."

The brunette arched an eyebrow and smiled softly. "Tomorrow? Why not tonight?"

"Because tonight, I want to take you out again."

"Ever thought of asking?"

"I would if I didn't already know you would say yes."

Adrianne pivoted in her seat, turning her top half to face the blonde. "You sure are cocky for someone who just accepted the fact that they're gay. Most people take a while to get comfortable in their skin and act like you did last night."

Quinn shrugged her shoulders. "I'm a quick learner. So... would you like to go out with me tonight?"

"That depends. Where are you taking me?"

"My favorite place. It's a surprise and you'll need a jacket and sneakers. None of those high heels that make your legs look like they go on for miles." Adrianne arched an eyebrow. "Don't think anyone you have walked past, gay or straight, hasn't noticed."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Okay, okay, okay... it's very short. But I have a really good reason for it. I got called into work really late and it's been busy so I haven't had the normal amount of time to write. I'm sorry and I'll try and make it up to you. I'm posting another on Saturday so hopefully you wont feel like you're missing anything.**

**You're at least getting their second date in there and a bit more of Quinn showing her 'BWYDT' side. You are also going to be getting a few nudges of Rachel and finally seeing some... difference between Adrianne and Rachel in regards to Quinn. **

**I know you all have voiced your concerns because this fic doesn't have a happy ending and BWYDT was all about the fluffiness, but there's going to be more fluff than drama. Quinn and Adrianne relationship was complicated because they never shared certain feelings with each other so most of their drama is internal. But there is still a lot of fluff. They did care about each other, it was just figuring out what those emotions really were. This whole verse is a complicated web of actual personal growth for many of the characters and this just explains it. It's funny because while learning about how Quinn came to be this new version of herself, you are also getting a show of how Adrianne came to be the only way you've seen her (pushy, protective, and heart broken. Clearly she wasn't always that way).**

**Thank you for everyone who is reading and those who are reviewing. I have people everyday signing up for alerts and favorite-ting the story still, so those are always nice surprises. Thank you and enjoy (what there is). Sorry again for it's short length.**

**~/~/~/~**

"So, where exactly are we going?" Adrianne asked as Quinn led her on a worn path through thick woods. "I mean, you aren't really some psycho killer who's going to take me miles away from civilization and hack me into tiny bits so no one can ever find me, are you?"

Quinn stopped suddenly and turned to meet Adrianne's confused emerald green eyes. "How'd you know?"

"Shut up." She ordered, playfully slapping the blonde's arm and Quinn instantly smiled. The smile never left her face as Adrianne took her hand in hers and let the younger woman continue to guide her. The feeling of the older woman's hand in hers just felt like it brought life to her senses, as if she had never felt this much when touching someone else. It was right. It fit. Their hands were suppose to find each others. "I'm just saying that we've been walking for fifteen minutes now. We're on a trail so that gives me hope that we're actually going somewhere, but the length of the mystery trail and it's less than casually traveled condition has left me rather curious as to what your intentions truly are."

It was moments like these when Adrianne rambled that Quinn had to stop her thoughts from drifting into the past that she wasn't ready to deal with just yet. It was a struggle, but the having the brunette there as a comforting distraction definitely helped. "We're almost there. And just in time too."

"Just in time... yeah, that's not at all foreboding."

"Hey. Just be thankful that I left my hacksaw in the trunk. All I can do now is have my way with you where there's no one around to hear you scream." She joked, causing Adrianne to smile.

"Who said I would have a problem with that?"

Quinn's smile faltered just slightly, but Adrianne didn't see. She was too busy looking down at her feet and blushing. That was a bridge that Quinn was hesitant to cross. Not just because it would be her first time with a woman and she wasn't entirely sure what to do, but because she hadn't been with anyone since Puck and her memories of that encounter were still a little fuzzy. In her mind, she was still pretty much a virgin. She was just lacking the hymen.

"Here we are." The blonde announced, motioning to a gap between the trees. Adrianne paused and looked at Quinn like she was crazy. "Fine, follow me." She took the smiling brunette by the hand again and walked another twenty feet off the path before coming to a clearing that over looked the scenery below the high hill they were standing on. Distant ponds could be seen glowing as the dimming sun played off of their placid surfaces. And the shadows cast by the trees danced in the light breeze that was blowing.

"How on earth did you ever find this place?"

Quinn laughed lightly and pointed off to the right. "You see that road over there?"

"Yeah."

"That's the one we drove on to get here. My freshman year, my car died while I was driving and I had to wait for the tow truck. I spent half an hour just looking around. I saw this little clearing up here and thought that it would give be a great view for a picture."

"That it does." Adrianne agreed, resting her head on the blonde's shoulder.

"Hold on." Quinn lifted a finger as she pulled away and walked over towards a tree. She pulled a bag from behind it.

"You already put that here?"

"I didn't want you to know what I was planning." Quinn explained with a smile as she pulled out two large blankets. She laid one down on the ground next to the tree and sat down, calling for Adrianne to sit next to her. "I don't bite."

"Damn."

The brunette took her place, sitting as close to Quinn as she could, and helped her cover them both with the other blanket before leaning back and using the tree as a back rest. "Now, we wait for the show."

"The show? What show?"

"The show that never ends." Adrianne couldn't fight the smile on her face but had no clue what the blonde was talking about. She was just so adorable. "The sun is always setting somewhere. It sets here in a few minutes and behind us right after that. It's actually really cool if you think about it. There is a moment where it is day time one second and night time the next, but if you could follow where the sun sets, that exact line, you're cheating the day. It never passes. Do you really age then? Is it ever really tomorrow? Is that a way to make time stand still?"

"You are something else, you know that?" The blonde blushed and bowed her head. "That's a good thing. But I have to kill the beautiful moment you just had and say while it was inspiring, I really just want to kiss you right now."

"I think I can handle that." Quinn smiled over her shoulder before leaning into a kiss. It was just like before, a spark inside her just ignited. This never happened with guys. Sure she enjoyed the kisses with them to a degree, but there was nothing to them like this. No life, no passion, nothing wanting to make her go any further. Not like now as she pivoted and brought one hand up to Adrianne's face to deepen the kiss while she held her balance with the other on the blanket between them. She just needed more. More of the soft feel of Adrianne's full lips, more of their sweet taste. She needed more of this fluttering in her stomach to tell her that this was right, that this was okay. Because there was no way it could feel this good and be wrong.

"Okay. I have to ask you something." Adrianne stated, breaking away from the kiss and Quinn had to fight a growl of frustration from escaping her throat. Now she understood why her boyfriends always got so upset when she stopped their kissing to pray or scold them.

"What's the question?"

"Who was the crush?"

Quinn stared at the brunette blankly. "What?"

"You are moving way too fast and way too smoothly to have just realize you are gay. So... who was the crush that made you admit it at least to yourself?"

The blonde huffed a laugh. "There wasn't one." Adrianne arched an eyebrow in disbelief, causing Quinn to turn away slightly, looking out over the view while taking nervous glances sideways. "Okay, so there might have been one towards the end of high school that had me considering the possibility, but I _never_ accepted it as reality."

"So you had a crush on her?"

"I... it's complicated." Adrianne didn't respond, asking Quinn to continue with her silence. "It's also not something that I can put into words on the spot. Our... 'relationship' was complicated and therefore my feelings, friendly and other, were just layers upon layers of conflicting emotions. She had me thinking, but I wasn't willing to actually accept it until you kissed me. I couldn't deny it after that."

Adrianne smiled lightly at her accomplishment and leaned over to rest her chin on Quinn's shoulder, waiting for her to turn. The blonde smirked and slowly did as was expected, earning a light kiss on the cheek. "One day?"

"Yeah. I'll tell you one day. I just have to figure out how I want to explain it all to you."

"You and your secrets."

"They're not really secrets. It's just more about finding the right words."

Adrianne brushed her nose against the blonde's cheek. "They're just words. Pick some and there you go."

Quinn closed her eyes tightly, hoping to block out the memories that came flooding back to her. They weren't just words she needed to describe this girl, they were the words that didn't exist or that she just couldn't find yet that would only explain it all properly. She couldn't help but think that Adrianne might not understand it even if she did tried to explain at all. Then again, she shouldn't shut out the possibility that she would either. That's what she was working on, letting someone in. Quinn at least needed to give her a chance before she wrote her off as not being able to understand.

"Are you okay? You're shaking a little."

Quinn opened her eyes and turned her head again, nodding. "Yeah. Just a little cold."

Adrianne hesitated for a second. "I can keep you warm." The brunette moved down on the blanket so she could lay flat on her back, pulling Quinn down with her. This position was new and exciting but quite sexual to the blonde. But after a few tender caresses of Adrianne's sweet tasting lips, she couldn't remember what her complaint was about.

Quinn took her time with their kissing, losing herself in what she had wanted yet denied herself for so many years, and Adrianne allowed her to explore. Quinn allowed herself to experiment more than she had with her boyfriends, always having been worried that if she tried kissing them differently, longer or deeper, that they would assume that that meant something more was going to happen or try and take it there. But Adrianne just seemed content to move at the blonde's pace, knowing and understanding that this was all new.

After enough time to memorize the taste and feel of the brunette's lips, Quinn instinctively moved down her jaw to her neck as the hand that wasn't being used to brace herself on traced up and down the older woman's sides, learning the gentle feel of her soft curves. Her breath shook in her throat as Adrianne's hand came up to her neck and their skin connected. All of her senses seemed to focus in on that connection, that warmth on her cool skin that fused them together. She had to halt her kisses and pull back to catch her breath, looking into those green eyes as she did. "You really are a good kisser." Adrianne stated in a soft, wavering voice, clearly as affected by the experience as Quinn was. "But we missed the show."

The blonde looked over her shoulder to the sky and saw that it was now night. The sun had already set. She could see the distant glow of the town and how it muted out the stars above it and smiled lightly as she turned her head back down to the brunette. "There's always tomorrow."

"What about those papers I have to grade?" Adrianne teased, running her hand from Quinn's throat to the collar of her jacket and down until it rested comfortably where the material was resting on her stomach.

Quinn scrunched her face. "When's the latest possible time you can get them done by?" They both laughed aloud and beamed intoxicated smiles. "Maybe I can even help and the time can be cut in half."

"If you help me, I don't think they will ever get done."

"Maybe you're right."

Quinn had expected the night to be filled with talking and bonding, getting to know each other deeper. But it turned out to be a different type of bonding. They were building a physical familiarity with each other, not based off of sex, but just closeness. It was proving to make Quinn feel more comfortable being affectionate with another woman without having to look for disapproving eyes. Adrianne figured that if she was able to become comfortable enough around her, that it would just fall into place and become second nature to the blonde. She wouldn't have to look around before taking her hand, or pause to think when the waiter asked if their meals were on separate checks. And it was working.

This time when Quinn rushed over to open the car door for her, she instantly took the brunette's hand in hers and walked their up to the door. The door... where they continued to work on their bonding with more kisses and light touches. Quinn just couldn't get enough of this feeling. The shortness of breath, the thumping of her heart, the fluttering of her stomach.

Adrianne was getting a similar rush. It had been a long time since she kissed someone who provided her with that freshness, that energy and excitement with just a simple kiss. She didn't want it to stop. "Come inside?" She asked in a panting breath, reading Quinn's eyes as she thought about it. "Like, my room?"

"I... I don't think I'm ready for that just yet. I want to." She added quickly, not wanting to put the other woman off. "I do. I just don't think I'm ready."

Adrianne nodded and gave a soft smile before her eyes dropped down to the blonde's lips. "There's always tomorrow, right?"

Quinn smiled before leaning back in for another kiss. "Right."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:First things first... no sexiness in this chapter. But it is coming. I promise. Maybe even on Tuesday.**

** I know a lot of you are trying to line this up with BWYDT and aren't seeing Quinn's struggle as a connection with what was describe in the other story. There's a reason for that. Like I had someone point out, there was a sentence about how when Adrianne opened a door, it slammed in her face again. That didn't happen in just a single day. She didn't open the door over breakfast and it slam shut two seconds later. It was over time (i.e. this is where Adrianne learns that she needs to push Quinn and needs to push her so often and so much that it becomes a defining personality trait because she never knows when Quinn is going to backtrack again).**

**This chapter deals with one of those times. I promise you, it will all match up. This isn't a relationship like Quinn and Rachel's where they met, fell in love, and that was it. This relationship was an on going struggle for years, not just a few weeks. Quinn and Rachel worked out their issues in what... four weeks before they got engaged? Four months before they got married? Adrianne and Quinn dated for nine times longer than that before they finally broke up. That's a long time spent exploring each other's personalities and a lot of time for one to affect the other. The only other way I can explain this story is it is highly complex but I promise it will fit with BWYDT. Give it a few chapters and there should be those clicking moments where you realize why certain things or feelings lasted between the two. Why one person acts the way the do towards the other or why Adrianne held Quinn's feelings for Rachel against Rachel as much as she did Quinn. Very complex, very deep. It's just going to take time to get there.**

**Hopefully that didn't actually scare you off of reading this. I just never realized how in depth and complicated of a relationship I had created until I started writing this. Anyway, for those of you who still wish to read, thank you and enjoy. (Not edited. I'll get my shit together next week. I promise. It's just been a bad week.)**

**~/~/~/~**

Just as Adrianne thought things were getting settled and Quinn had fully accepted her sexuality, shit hit the fan. The blonde had walked into their apartment one day and nearly ran straight to her bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind her.

"Quinn?" Adrianne called out, knocking gently on the door.

"Go away."

The brunette pulled her head back in shock of the harshness in the blonde's voice. "What's wrong?"

"I said go away. I don't want to talk about it. Clearly if I did, I wouldn't have shut and locked the door."

Adrianne tried not to let herself feel too hurt by Quinn's anger, knowing for a fact she hadn't done anything to cause it. Perhaps it was best just to leave her alone for a little while. I mean, she had to come out eventually and maybe then she could get a better read on her emotional state. Talking to a locked door wasn't going to get her anywhere. So she went back to cooking dinner and left Quinn alone to deal with whatever it was.

Quinn sat on her bed with her head in her hands and let the tears fall when she heard Adrianne walk away. She regretted her harsh tone the instant it came out, but was only further angered when Adrianne persisted to ask questions when she had asked to be left alone. Still, even now she could feel the burning of guilt rising from her stomach to settle in her chest. She stomped her foot down and growled in a mixture of anger, pain, and sadness. She had it figured out. She was happy, now after just one incident, she was ready to throw it all away. One random person's opinion set her back to where she started, feeling as if what she wanted more than anything was wrong and sinful.

She had been laying on her bed with her arm draped over her eyes for half an hour when she heard another faint knock on the door. "Are you hungry?"

"No." Actually she was starving. All of her emotions had picked away at any food she may have consumed earlier in the day.

"Well, if you change your mind... it's ready."

Quinn could heard the sadness in Adrianne's voice and it only made the painful lump in her throat grow larger. She closed her eyes as tight as she could as she fought with herself and then finally pushed up, out of bed and to the door. She tried to hurry her actions before she changed her mind but once the door was open, she slowed down, not wanting to frighten her roommate.

Neither woman said anything as they fixed their plates in the kitchen. But Adrianne had to confess to being shocked when the blonde actually sat down at the table with her to eat. Maybe she was wanting to share what had caused her mood, but Adrianne couldn't tell. Quinn wouldn't look at her.

"Quinn..." The blonde halted her food preparations and waited. "I don't want to ask, but I'm concerned."

Quinn set her fork and knife down and pressed her fingers to her temples as she fought with herself again. She wanted to talk about this like a normal, confident lesbian who had an encounter with an ignorant, close-minded moron but her confidence in her stance had been shaken. Adrianne had allowed her to let her walls down, open up without fear of being hurt or judged, but she forgot to put them back up when she stepped out into the real world and was paying the price now. "I... I had someone tell me... that they were going to pray for me so God may forgive my sins and not cast me down into Hell."

Adrianne had heard that countless times before and couldn't figure out why that would cause such a dramatic reaction. Quinn knew things like that were going to be said too. Sure, it hurt to hear, but they were going to be said. You can't shut yourself in your room for hours just because someone doesn't agree with something you do. Quinn met Adrianne's eyes, waiting for her response but the brunette knew it wasn't going to be welcomed so she stayed quiet.

"Do you have nothing to say about that?" Adrianne shrugged. "I had to sit through an entire lecture as a group of 'saints' sat behind me whispering about seeing me with you and how they couldn't believe how gross it was."

"People are going to see us." The brunette stated softly. "They're going to point. They're going to frown and scold you. They are going to tell you that you are going to Hell and that you are an abomination. You just have to stand strong in your beliefs and know that they're the ones who are wrong."

"And what if they're not wrong? How can _so_ many people all be wrong?"

Adrianne dropped her brow. "I thought we went over this?"

"We went over a single section of the bible that seems far fetched."

"Do you want me to quote you some others? More of the ridiculousness?"

"No. I just want..." Quinn squeezed her head between her hands again. "I just want to be able to choose what to listen to. My mind or my heart."

"Is that really that hard of a choice when you list it like that?"

It only angered Quinn more at the fact that the brunette was right. Her heart or her head... what kind of a choice really needed to be made there. But it didn't seem that easy when she thought about it in detail. "I don't know if I can do this."

Adrianne sat silently for a few seconds. "Don't know if you can do what exactly?"

"This." Quinn stated, dropping her hands and looking up to Adrianne for a split second before diverting her eyes again. "Us. Whatever this thing is that we've been doing."

"Thing?" The brunette asked, unable to hide the hurt and anger in her voice any longer. "This _thing_ that we've been doing is called feeling."

"It's wrong." The blonde mumbled and Adrianne dropped her fork to her plate with a loud clank as she shot up out of her seat.

"It's not wrong. They're wrong. You know this is right. You've felt it. You've been happier than you ever have since we started this_ thing_. You even told me that."

Quinn shook her head. "What if that's the temptation of it. It's suppose to make you feel good because it's tempting me."

Adrianne cocked her head sideways. "So if you feel like shit, then you're living the way God wants you too?"

"No." Quinn knew that didn't make sense but she wanted it too. It would be so much easier to hold onto a logical reason for her feelings for Adrianne.

"But that's what you're saying. Read this book. Follow these rules and live eternity in heaven after living your life in a personal hell."

Quinn jumped to her feet, meeting Adrianne's heated gaze. "If that's what it takes."

The two stood there in silence as Adrianne shook her head at the blonde. "You're weak." Her words were soft but firm and stung like hot daggers before she turned around and retreated to her bedroom, leaving Quinn struggling to understand why she was so willing to spend her life doing something she knew wouldn't make her happy, just like she had been before she met Adrianne.

Things were stressed the next morning, so much so that Quinn was actually considering moving back to the dorms. But that would take some time. The blonde leaned against the kitchen counter just inside the kitchen as Adrianne moved about, making her breakfast. This was killing both of them but in very different ways. Quinn was currently fighting herself from pulling the scowling brunette into her arms and just hugging away her frustration, knowing that that was all that was needed. She was weak, but still very, very confused as to which way to follow. What her heart was telling her was right and what made her happy, or what over two billion people world wide believed in. Were there really that many 'clueless' people in the world as Adrianne described them.

"Are you going to stand there all morning or make yourself something to eat?"

Quinn slowly walked further into the kitchen, her eyes fixed longingly on the back of the busy brunette's head. "I don't want this to be awkward between us."

"Why would it be awkward?" Adrianne asked quickly. "You only allowed me to start falling for you before you decided that I'm just the devil's temptation and that you are one hundred percent completely straight and not attracted to me at all. Why on Earth would there be any awkwardness between us?"

"Can't we just go back to respecting each other's sexuality?"  
"No." Adrianne stated firmly, turning around to look at a rather stunned blonde. "No we can't. I can't allow you to torture yourself because of something that you don't believe but are to scared to go against just in case you are wrong."

"It's not your choice."

Adrianne rolled her eyes before reaching over and grabbing Quinn's face, holding her in place as she kissed her. Quinn lifted her hands to pull Adrianne's away but the brunette's struggled against her, pinning her between herself and the counter while grabbing her wrists so she couldn't push her away. After a few more seconds of protest, Quinn succumbed to her roommates kiss and returned it in need. She couldn't deny this feeling no matter how much she wanted to. If she had never experienced it before, she could have gone on her whole life ignoring the feelings she had buried deep inside, but not anymore.

"Damn you." Quinn whispered lightly as Adrianne pulled away from the kiss and rested their foreheads together. Quinn leaned against her, content in losing herself in the woman, but still too scared to actually let go again.

"If I'm going to burn in hell for all eternity, I might as well have you there to keep me company." The blonde huffed a little laugh. "What do you believe? You, not anyone else. Close your eyes and forget the rest of the world. Look deep down into your heart and tell me if you feel anything for me."

Quinn shook her head as she pulled it back to look into Adrianne's green eyes. "I know how I feel. That's not what my issue is. My issue is whether or not I _should _feel this way about you. And I don't know. I don't know if I should or shouldn't but I know I do have feelings for you."

"And unfortunately I can't help you with that. That's your choice, just don't think I'm going to make it easy on you to hide who you are." Adrianne stated, leaning in and placing a light, quick kiss on Quinn's willing lips. "Because you're far too good of a kisser to let go of."

The blonde laughed and smiled as she looked away to blush. This is what had her coming back. Adrianne made her happy. Quinn let out a long sigh and slumped her shoulders. "How was it so easy for that to get to me. I mean, I knew while listening to them that what they were saying didn't change my feelings, but yet it scared the hell out of me... Literally almost. How did you get over this?"

Adrianne smiled out of the side of her mouth. "Her name was Heather. She just made everything feel okay when she was around. Like I wasn't alone and she understood what I was going through."

"This is an ex girlfriend I take it?"

"Do I detect a hint of jealousy in your voice?" Adrianne asked playfully as she took a step back from the blonde to study her with an amused smile on her face. "They woman who just asked me to respect her straightness?"

Quinn looked away, feeling incredibly foolish at her behavior since yesterday. Adrianne was her Heather. She just made all the fear fall away. Like Adrianne said, if she was going to Hell, at least she wouldn't be alone. "You didn't answer my question."

"Maybe I still like to keep a secret or two until I learn all of yours."

"I have too many."

"Well, you could have one less."

Quinn arched her eyebrow. "I thought you were the one with the secret that was needing to be revealed."

"After yours. What have you chosen to follow? Your heart, or your head? Because I'm seriously on the verge of falling for you and that means it's not just your emotions that you're yo-yoing with."

"I know." The blonde stated in shame as she dropped her head.

"I'm not asking for you to commit to a relationship and ask me to be your girlfriend or anything. I just need to know you aren't going to turn into one of the flock and join the chorus in telling me I'm a sinner and God will never love me."

"I'd never tell you that."

Adrianne shrugged, no long so sure about that. "I just need to know what you decide... and I hope you are able to decide it soon."

~/~/~/~

It didn't take long for Quinn to be tested again. She had never noticed before but the same group of bible worshipers shared her psychology class. She should have. That was probably where they had seen her with Adrianne.

The brunette was already down in her normal spot in the front row, just two rows in front of the group who were already talking about her from what Quinn could tell. She was standing in the back of the room debating. Quinn kicked herself for even debating this long as she had been before she trudged down the stairs with purpose. Before she took her seat she bent down and kissed a shocked Adrianne on the cheek and plopped down next to her.

"Well good morning to you too. But didn't I just see you and you weren't in the kissing mood?"

"You did and I wasn't."

"And this kiss was...?"

Quinn jerked her head back towards the group who were immaturely snickering behind them. "That was a middle finger to them. I'm gay. They can deal with it."

"So..."

"So, I'm going to hell with you and I'll enjoy every second of it with the biggest 'I'm happy' smile on my face."

Adrianne smiled at the blonde as Quinn stared in front of her, unsure of where to go from here. The brunette reached over and patted her hand on the nervous and slightly shaking blonde's thigh. "That's my good little homo."

Quinn nodded her head curtly. "That's right. All I need now is a rainbow tattoo."

"I wont let you do that though."

"No?" Quinn asked, turning her head as Adrianne shook hers.

"No."

"Too much?"

Adrianne nodded her head head and turned back to her book. "Just a bit."

"How about a pride tee shirt?"

"That's more sensible."

"Then how sensible would asking you on a third date be?"

Adrianne lifted her head back up to meet Quinn's eyes, needing to see where her thoughts where headed and if they met up with her emotions anywhere. "This is your decision? Your final decision?"

The blonde took in a deep breath and let it out as she nodded her head. "It is. And... I'm sorry for yesterday. I just... I don't know why it had me so spooked. I knew it could and probably would happen."

"But you weren't ever expecting it to happen. You can never be fully prepared for it. But at least now you know what it's going to feel like. But I still need to know. Is this your final decision?"

Quinn looked deeply into Adrianne's eyes and nodded her head. "It is. You're my Heather."

Adrianne huffed a laugh and dropped her eyes. "Hopefully not entirely. She was my grandmother."

"Yeah... not entirely because I'm getting some really-" Quinn slammed her eyes shut and help up her hand. "Ew..."

"You're sick."

"What? It should actually be flattering. Despite the fact that I'm thinking of your grandmother in my place, it's the things that are happening that are what count."

Adrianne scrunched her face in disgust and shook her head. "That is just so wrong."

"It is." Quinn agreed, nodding her head as she looked forward again. "But you still haven't answered my other question. Would it be alright for me to ask you on another date?"

"Not tonight though."

"Okay... do you have something else going on? Because I know you graded those papers last night."

The brunette shrugged. "Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Maybe I'm just not wanting to seem to available. I mean, maybe I have other women who are interested in taking me out. It's not like we're dating exclusively or anything."

"Would you like me to go ask the blonde barbie with the low cut shirts if she's available?" Adrianne glared at her. "I'm just saying, you two seemed to be enjoying each other's company after your date."

The brunette dropped her brow. "How did you..."

Quinn smiled shyly. "So I might have seen you two when I got home before I ran away to get drunk because she was doing what I wanted to do."

"That makes more sense now. I could never figure out what had caused you to go drinking like that."

The blonde nodded, mashing her lips between her teeth. "Yeah. So..."

"So, I'll let you know."

Quinn held it in as long as she could, throwing her attention everywhere else but the brunette until she couldn't take it any longer. "Are you just waiting because of what I did yesterday and this morning?"

Adrianne kept her head and eyes down on her papers. "Not entirely."

"Then what is it that's keeping you from saying yes?"

This time Adrianne did look up at Quinn. "The very fact that you assume I will."

"So you're trying to deliver a blow to my ego?"

"Seeing as it's filling this room right now, flipping my hair would be a blow to your ego."

Quinn nodded her head in acceptance. "Does it make you like me any less though?"

"Not even if I wanted it too."

"So, tomorrow night then?"

The brunette laughed. "You never give up do you? Fine. Tomorrow night."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I'm going to take this first part of my notes to address a comment that I couldn't respond back to privately (not meant as a rant, just an explanation). Firstly, I understand what you are saying, but you are missing a few things. Quinn does not abandon her faith completely at the snap of Adrianne's fingers. Adrianne represents an extreme view that is very anti-religious. She see flaws in the Bible. (There are some people who do not see where there should be a separation between the Old Testament and the New. There are also and always have been people who believe the Bible _should_ be read literally. You can't ignore that fact.) Adrianne took the flaws in the Bible as reason enough to say God does not exist. (This story covers multiple views on religion, not just one. Russell, Judy, Marie, and Kevin are all Christian. Rachel and Elijah are Jewish. Adrianne is anti-religious.) If you read back over BWYDT when Quinn is trying to explain her own views to Rachel, she states she doesn't believe in_ religion_. But she's torn about God. She wants to believe in Him, but finds it difficult. She doesn't take Adrianne's beliefs as her own but rather struggles to figure out her beliefs separately. I'm not making these character either Christian or not. Things aren't that clear cut in real life and I wanted to show that.**

**Now that that has been addressed, on to this chapter which is a little bit shorter than average but I will be making up for it with the next one. The next chapter will be a step forward from this one... I'm sure you'll understand once you finish this one. This is kind of just a fluff chapter with some discussion and a bit further understanding between the two women. There is a jump in time because, like I said before, I don't want to do a day to day account of their three year long relationship. I'm going to just start hitting the big things with a chapter of build up here and there. Hopefully it wont seem to jumpy but if I'm rushing over something that you would like to see, just let me know.**

**Alright, so now with half a chapter of author notes, I'll let you get to the story. Thank you for everyone who reads and reviews. I hope you enjoy and again... loosely edited. I blame work and... yeah. Enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

Several Weeks Later

~/~/~/~

"I need to study." Adrianne mumbled between kisses and giggles as Quinn pushed her back to lay down on the couch.

"Okay. Go ahead." The blonde stated, moving her mouth to the brunette's neck, sucking gently.

"Like I could concentrate with you doing that." Like she could do anything with her doing that.

"You never said anything about needing to concentrate."

Adrianne rolled her eyes lifted Quinn's face to hers. She was going to tell her that she really did need to study and they could pick up on this later, but those smiling hazel eyes stole her argument from her. She smiled back faintly and released the blonde so she could capture her lips with her own. That kiss was undeniable ans so sweet tasting. "You're going to make me fail."

"Quit and be my assistant."

"Make enough money to actually pay me." Adrianne teased as she closed her eyes tight while the blonde returned her mouth to her pulse spot. The brunette's hands ran up and down her sides catching the light material of her shirt and pulling it up to expose some of her skin. Quinn moaned as Adrianne's warm hands pressed against her lower back, pulling her body closer. "Stay with me tonight." This was a statement, not the question that had been asked multiple times in the past.

Quinn pressed her forehead on her roommate's and tried to lose herself in her touch. She was struggling with her answer. "I can't."

"Why not? It's been three weeks since you're last issue with what we're doing. You hold my hand when you walk me to class. You've kissed me in front of my friends. You've even given me flowers and finally asked me to be your girlfriend. What's left to make you ready?"

The blonde fought against her hold as she sat up, pulling Adrianne with her. Quinn ran a hand over her face in embarrassment as she fought to find the words to explain herself without sounding like a complete dork. "This is new to me." Adrianne nodded knowingly. This wasn't new information to her. "Not just because you're a woman. I'm talking about... intimacy in general." Adrianne dropped her brow in confusion. "I've only had sex with one person."

"There's nothing wrong with that. Some people only ever have sex with one person in their life."

"One time." The brunette's mouth hung open as she searched for a supportive remark but failed to find one.

"You have got some shitty luck." Quinn laughed and blushed as she covered her face again. "So... it was your first time which makes it a less than enjoyable experience to begin with. You were drunk for it and probably don't remember much of it." Quinn shook her head in agreement. "And then you ended up pregnant?" The blonde nodded and Adrianne played with the sides of her shirt as she searched for the next step in the conversation. "I know this question is a little personal, but I kind of need to know... How... knowledgeable are you?"

Quinn shied away from the question. "About what, exactly?"

"I know you come from a very conservative family." Quinn nodded. "And I know now that you've only even attempted to have sex once, while drunk and while being taken advantage of... But what about privately?"

"Are you asking if I..." Adrianne nodded her head slowly and Quinn turned three shades of red in response.

"Well, no wonder you're reluctant." The blonde covered her face again, not believing they were even having this conversation but knowing it was best that they did. "But you don't need to be." Adrianne assured her. "I understand now that this is _all _kind of new to you. I'm not trying to pressure you, but with the things you do to me... you're killing me. So we need to come to some sort of understanding and place boundaries. I don't mind giving you more time if you need it, but if you do need it, then I need you to slow down with the... you-ness."

"Me-ness?" Quinn asked with a smile on her face.

"Yeah. Do you have any idea of how sexy and seductive you are? You can turn me on like a light switch and you're going to have to try not to do that if there's nothing coming afterward."

The blonde dropped her brow but kept her smile as she cocked her head sideways. "Did you just call me a tease?"

Adrianne paused and thought about what she just said. "No. But if after this conversation you continue to get me worked up knowing that nothing is going to come from it, then yes. You would be a tease by definition." She hesitated before she continued. "But there is something else we can do that will give us what we both want."

"What's that?"

"Come here." Adrianne called as she pulled on Quinn's shirt that she had yet to let go of. The blonde hovered over her again, laying down on the sofa, as Adrianne slipped one of her legs on the couch between Quinn's. Once she was in position, she leaned up and caught Quinn's lips with hers, pulling her down further. After a few minutes, the passion of the kisses intensified. Quinn knew what would normally be coming next, but Adrianne said they were going to take that slow, so she wasn't so sure anymore. All she cared about was the feel of their tongues massaging one another. It did things to her, sent chills down her spine and to her core.

Then the blonde broke from the kiss to let out a long moan as Adrianne lifted her thigh and rocked into her girlfriend slowly but firmly. When Quinn opened her eyes, she met Adrianne's green ones, looking for a sign that this was going to be okay. They stared at each other for a second before lowered herself back down into another deep kiss, deeper and more aggressive than any they had shared before.

Adrianne rocked upwards again, feeling the pressure of Quinn's thigh between her legs as she did, and they swallowed each other's moans of pleasure. The last three weeks had nearly killed them. Quinn was still battling her conservative instincts from her childhood, while Adrianne was giving her every opportunity to exploration. The exploring, however, kept Adrianne on edge whenever the blonde was near. She kept waiting for that one time Quinn would push for more and now understood why she never did.

The brunette laced her fingers in the light hair as their mouths parted to give way to gasping breaths, while the other hand slipped under the bottom of Quinn's shirt again, needing to feel skin as they rocked against each other. Over time they formed a fluid movement that resulted in unison grunts and moans that filled the tiny apartment.

"God, this feels so good." The blonde panted as she rested her forehead against the couch just above Adrianne's shoulder.

"Better than he made you feel?"

"So much."

"And this isn't even sex." Adrianne informed her turning her head to suckle her earlobe and they quickened their pace. There was a thrill or rush that she was the first one to ever make Quinn feel this way. She was causing her this pleasure, more pleasure than she had probably ever felt in her life and it only spurred her on more.

This was insane. That's all Quinn could think. She had never felt anything like this before. Nothing this good. It had to be a sin. Or at least she saw why people thought it was a sin. She wouldn't be able to stop even if she tried. Her body wanted this, needed this.

"Oh, fuck..." Quinn lifted herself back up on her palms and met each of Adrianne's frantic rocks with her own, feeling this pull in the pit of her stomach intensify with each connection. The brunette studied her face from her position underneath her and knew she was getting close. Her hands abandoned the blonde's back and traveled lower, gripping her ass and pulling her against her for more friction.

Quinn's face contorted and her mouth hung open as she gasped for staggered breaths and her hips suddenly bucked forward on their own accord and her arms trembled under her weight. She had to lower herself back down on Adrianne who started moaning and shaking with her now. The brunette slowed her rocks and released the blonde's ass, gently running her hands up her back to hold her as they both came down off of their highs.

"So..." Adrianne said and felt Quinn smile against her neck. "You okay with doing that?"

"Does that question really need an answer?"

~/~/~/~

Quinn had fallen asleep on the couch, laying between the back of the sofa and Adrianne in front of her, her arm draped over the studying brunette's waist. It was so surreal to her. Not just that she, the good little Christian girl, was gay and dating a woman, but that she was this comfortable around her. And not just about... whatever it was that they had just done. But just laying here with her now, in her presence. Adrianne seemed pretty comfortable with it as well, but maybe that's just because she was use to letting people in like this. Quinn wasn't, but she didn't care anymore. Not with Adrianne.

The blonde stirred lightly and Adrianne smiled as she read her book. "What are you reading about?" Quinn asked in a small voice as she nuzzled into her girlfriend's hair.

"Laws."

"Insightful, seeing as you're a law student."

"You asked. I answered."

"So does that mean I will get everything that I ask for?"

"I'm not going to answer that."

Quinn squeezed her girlfriend playfully. "Why not?"

"Because if I say no, you'll get mad at me. And if I say yes, then you'll actually expect me to give you everything you ask for without debate."

"You spoil me."

Adrianne laughed throatily. "I know I do. But you're just so damn cute."

The two fell into a silence for several minutes before Quinn worked up the nerve to ask her next question. "Does it bother you that I'm not ready to have actual sex?"

Adrianne closed her book immediately. "No. Quinn-" She pursed her lips and turned around to look at the blonde which was rather tricky on the narrow couch. "It doesn't bother me. You move as fast or as slow as you need to, okay. I understand why you are hesitant. I'm not holding anything against you."

"So.. you're okay with this slow development in our relationship?"

"Yes. Now that I know why. And especially now that I got off. I'm good for a little while longer."

Quinn blushed as she smiled widely and dropped her head down to the sofa cushion. She loved Adrianne for being able to take an awkward moment and make it a joke. "I'm sorry. I want to get there but... it's just scary to kind of put yourself out there. Especially when you've never done it before. I would have no clue what I'm doing and I don't want to look like a fool in front of you."

"Quinn, there's no reason to fear that. I know that this is all new to you. I wouldn't just jump in there and expect you to be at the top of your game."

"I know." The blond grumbled. "I really do know that. I just... it's a fear that I had to voice."

"That's fine. I don't mind that. Talk all you need to if it's going to ease some of those worries. Let me know what I can do to help."

Quinn nodded her head but remained silent. She watched as Adrianne returned her attention to her book and studied the brunette's face. "How much do you typically have sex?"

Adrianne closed her book again and looked at her girlfriend seriously. "It really depends on who I'm with."

"With your last girlfriend, though?"

The older woman took in a deep breath and let it out through her nose. "I know what you're really asking and yes, I like sex. A lot. I don't have a quota or something that I'm trying to reach weekly though. Sex is something that you can't just rush but at the same time, being intimate with someone isn't something that you can really deny either. I'm not going to pressure you to try and keep up with the standards someone else set up, okay?"

Quinn nodded her head as she sat up properly on the sofa, lifting Adrianne's legs to drape over her thighs. "I didn't think you would. I was kind of asking for a different reason..."

"Oh. Well, why did you ask then?" The blonde shook her head, dismissing her thought, but Adrianne tugged on the sleeve of her shirt. "No. Tell me. It's okay. I'm not going to laugh at you or anything."

"I was just.. kind of..." Quinn's voice was so soft that Adrianne had to strain to hear what she was saying. The blonde took a deep breath and looked up to the ceiling, trying to convince herself that this was okay to talk about. So instead of dragging it out any longer she just blurted her question in one quick breath fast enough that Adrianne had to replay it in her mind to actually understand it all. "I was just wondering if we could do what we did earlier again."

Slowly the smile on the brunette's face grew until her eyes were just slits smiling along as well. "You are a horny little thing." Quinn blushed and rolled her eyes as Adrianne fisted her shirt and pulled her back down into another heated kiss. "I like it."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Okay. So... it's long to make up for allllllll of the short ones. I told you that I would make it up to you. And I think that you might enjoy this chapter, unless you are one of those few readers who still has issues seeing Quinn with Adrianne romantically. **

**We see a bit more of the push and pull in this chapter as well as some ways they adapt to it. We see Quinn attempting to open up while Adrianne attempts to find the balance between what she needs in a relationship and what Quinn is willing to give at this time. And then... dare I say it... sexytimes. Ten chapters and over 30,000 to get to this point but I had some motivations to make it worth the wait. Hopefully you think it is. (Don't read at work... unless you like that kind of thing... ;) )**

**Oh, final bit of information. Rachel will start to play a much more prominent role in the story from this point on. Most of what I will cover will deal with her. There will still be some strictly Adrianne/Quinn moments (perhaps even chapters), but the clips of their life I am really interested in showing deal with Rachel. This is also why I asked what you wanted to see in the story. I don't want to just breeze over something you are interested in.**

**So, now that the ramble is over. Thank you everyone who is reading this. I have new people joining up everyday still which is really exciting. I'm glad you've come around to the dark side. And especially thank you to those of you who leave reviews or send me messages/email. You are awesome and inspirational. Thank you and enjoy!**

**~/~/~/~**

"Quinn?" Adrianne called out over their dinner table but the blonde's stare never broke from it's fixed location across the restaurant. "Quinn? Babe?" Adrianne snapped her fingers and the blonde tilted her head towards her but still didn't pull her eyes away to meet her girlfriend's.

"What?"

"What are you staring at?"

"Huh?"

Adrianne cleared her throat, no long amused in the slightest bit. "Look. You are at dinner with me. So either contribute to the conversation or even just pretend to be interested in anything that I am doing or saying, otherwise your ass can finish the meal by yourself."

Quinn slowly turned her attention back to her girlfriend, a little hurt by the harshness. "What's wrong with you?"

"You're ignoring me. I've been calling your name for five minutes now."

"I asked you what you wanted." Adrianne stared her down, not wanting to play Quinn's game right now. She had learned fairly quickly that to avoid certain things, all Quinn had to do was skirt around the topic long enough and Adrianne would get annoyed and move on. But Adrianne had learned quickly as well that the easiest way to combat this was with blunt honesty. Especially if it involved emotions.

"You know, every time you do this... it hurts me."

The blonde felt the sting of guilt and dropped her eyes to her plate. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt you. I just don't really want to talk about it tonight."

"You didn't want to talk about it last night either. Or the night before. Yet you continuously promise me that you will start letting me in. This relationship needs to go both ways if it's going to work. Right now I feel like I'm walking around in the pitch black with a flashlight trying to stumble upon something that gives me some sort of understanding of the woman I am not only living with, but _apparently_ dating too."

"You can be so dramatic sometimes." Adrianne stared hard as Quinn poked the remainder of her meal with her fork, then she released her glass of wine and stood up, grabbing her jacket off the back of her chair to prepare to make good on her promise. "Adrianne." Quinn called in frustrated desperation. "I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry. Just... just sit down and lets talk."

"That's what I've been trying to do while you successfully shut me out every time." This had been going on for two weeks now. Adrianne had thought that there would be a bit more progress into the intimacy of their relationship after their latest development. Emotional as well as physically. But if anything, Quinn just seemed to be shutting her out more. She knew that she was getting into something deep when she fell for the blonde, but she was still expecting to be dealing with someone that functioned a bit more logically.

The blonde looked up at her and held a silent conversation, feeling each other out as to who was going to cave first. Quinn could see it wasn't Adrianne. The brunette was going to leave. "Please, stay."

Adrianne hesitated and then took her seat again. "You make me feel like this horrible person who is trying to force you to bear your soul and all over your deep, dark secrets. You know that?"

"I don't mean to."

"Then why do you do it?" She spit back quickly. "Forget telling me anything about your family, seeing as we've been dating for over a month and I still don't even know their names or if you have any siblings. Just answer me that question. Why would you rather make someone you supposedly care about feel bad instead of just talking to them?"

Quinn ran a hand over her face as she tried to find the right state of mind for this conversation. "I just... I freeze. Talking isn't what I was raised with." Adrianne dropped her brow and shook her head, at a complete loss for her girlfriend's meaning. "You didn't discuss things in my family. You were told how you felt and that was it. If there was a problem... well, there were never any problems. Life was too perfect to have problems. So talking is a bit of an issue for me. Or at least when it comes to the deeper things."

"Now was that so hard to say?"

"Yes!" Quinn yelled in a whisper. "That's what I just told you."

This time it was the brunette who ran a hand over her face, trying to calm the heating emotions. "Okay. Can we start tonight over? I want to _talk_ to you, not yell at you... I want to listen to you, but I don't want to have it be dripping with anger. I just..." She looked across the table to Quinn and her mouth twitched in a quick smile before fading to a frown. "I care about you, yet I still don't even know you. I'm just looking for a little something to go on so I can better understand you and your needs. I'm actually trying to make this easier but I don't know how to do it yet."

Quinn wiped the corner of her mouth with her napkin and sat back in her chair, calming her emotions as well. "I don't want to fight either. I just... I have a hard time being pushed. When someone pushes me, I either feel the need to push back or close up and run away."

"Okay. I understand that now. I only push because you don't give me anything otherwise. You know how you work, what you're thinking, what you're feeling. But I'm left out in the dark. You're not giving me anything to go on and sometimes I just feel that I'm into this relationship more than you are."

The blonde closed her eyes for a second. She liked Adrianne. She liked her a lot, but she couldn't help but to wonder if even the slightest part of it was the way the brunette reminded her of someone in her past. Even if that was only a fraction of the attraction, Quinn still felt guilty for it. "What do you want to know? I'll see if I can answer it."

"I just want you to talk openly with me."

"I can't do that though. Not yet at least. Maybe down the road I will be able to work through things enough to just open up my soul to people and just let the honesty flow completely, but right now... I need guidance."

"Guidance without being pushed?" Adrianne asked, sitting back in her seat to size up the blonde, trying to figure out if she was getting another run around or not.

"Yes. I know that sounds ridiculous. But... I need guidance while still feeling that I am some how in control. I'm telling you what I want to tell you, but on topics that you are picking. Does that sounds alright?"

Depends on how much she shared actually. "I can work with that."

Quinn clapped her hands together gently and sat forward, resuming her meal. "Good. Then what did you want to know about?"

"Can I know your parents' names?"

"My mother is Judy, she's a housewife. My father is Russell, a professional ass hole."

Adrianne only nodded her head, wanting to push but trying to limit herself at the same time. "Do you have any siblings?"

"One sister. Her name is Christina and she is a housewife."

"Another housewife... Are the women in your family the nurturing type and that's their calling or...?"

"Or." Quinn answered quickly.

"Okay." She didn't push anymore but instead, just sat there and waited.

Quinn realized that she was still waiting, unsatisfied with the answer. Without her pushing for a further response to her question, the blonde actually didn't feel pressured. She knew what she wanted to know, because the topic had already been confirmed, but now she was leaving it for Quinn to continue at her own pace. This went back to how their personalities just clicked some times. While there were certain things that Adrianne did or Quinn did that annoyed the hell out of the other, more moments than not were like this. A peaceful, natural understanding.

"Nothing more is expected from women in our family. Get married to a nice Christian man and raise Christian babies. That's it. We aren't expected to have opinions or interests. Just to nod our heads and obey."

Adrianne smiled out of the corner of her mouth, the look in her eyes changing from something challenging to something similar to adoration. "So you really are something special then, to rebel and have a brain."

Quinn huffed a little laugh and raised her index finger to her lips. "Shhh. Don't tell my dad that."

"So your bull headed ways are a secret?"

This time Quinn chuckled for a little longer. "Not at all. They became more widely known and even less accepted after I got pregnant."

"Really?" Adrianne asked, guiding the conversation on further. "How did he know this more opinionated side of you with you not living with them anymore?"

Quinn's smile faded. Not because of the topic, but at the realization of exactly how much she had kept her girlfriend in the dark. Adrianne didn't really know anything at all. They had spent there nights and dates discussing current things, which the blonde loved, allowing Adrianne to know who Quinn was becoming, versus who she was. But then again, sometimes the past needed to be know. "Mom kicked him out right before I had the baby and asked me to come back home. He was having an affair."

Adrianne arched an eyebrow but kept her remarks of hypocrisy to herself.

"Things were a little rough when I moved in and got worse when she took him back. Things were more than just a little strained after that because I had already lost my respect of him." Quinn paused and took a sip of her wine before finishing. "I had felt ashamed that I had disappointed him when I got pregnant. But after knowing that he said what he said to me and disowned me for not living up to the very standards that he was undermining... I just lost complete respect for him."

"And your mother?"

This time Quinn took her time, inhaling several deep breaths and choosing her words carefully. "I understand my mother's state of mind. He was her everything. Everything she did revolved around him and to suddenly have him out of her life while trying to make up with me... our house was not a welcoming place. I still wish she hadn't taken him back and still feel a betrayed, but I know what it's like to have been under his control. I mean, I was only under it for 16 years and I'm still struggling against it. Mom has been under it for so much longer."

Adrianne nodded her head. "Is this why you feel like you need to be in control?"

"Not exactly, but yes. I've kind of always been this way. I just needed some control in my life. When situations are uncomfortable or unfamiliar, I need to feel... less like a victim if that makes any sense. Like I'm taking part in whatever is going on, not just having it happen to me or around me."

"I can understand that. And it actually explains a great deal about you."

"Does it?"

"It does." Adrianne stated, leaning forward a little bit. "Like why when we are grinding, you always have to be on top." The blonde smiled widely and covered her blushing face with her hand. "Which is cool. I don't mind you expressing your need to be more dominate. I find it really sexy to be honest with you. But maybe when we get to that next stage in our relationship... you'll be a bit more comfortable in other positions."

Quinn dropped her hand back down to her fork to push her food around her plate again in the awkwardness that she was feeling. "It's not that I'm not ready for that next step anymore. I just... I'm nervous. It's a very vulnerable position to be in and as you now know, I don't do so well with those type of situations."

"I do know that _now_. So maybe we can work together to overcome that obstacle."

The blonde smiled with a faint blush, knowing that Adrianne was beyond ready but still waiting patiently. "Maybe."

~/~/~/~

The car ride back to the apartment was the quietest one they had ever had. There was that understanding that Adrianne wanted to try tonight that kept the car buzzing with electricity from the possibilities. Quinn wanted this, but was continuously hammered by waves of anxiety. She had no clue what to do or how to do it or when for that matter. She was at the brunette's mercy and that made her uncomfortable already. They had just gone over this but she had discovered recently that Adrianne had a habit of not listening to what she was saying if she already believed something else as more valid in her mind. Out of all of Quinn's fears, the biggest was freaking out enough times that Adrianne just gave up on her. For as much as she kept Adrianne out, she had given her a lot as well. The brunette just hadn't realized what it all encompassed. Quinn was emotionally dependent on her.

While Quinn was going over her fears in her mind, Adrianne was trying to figure out how to let the blonde feel like she was in control while actually having to tell her what to do. She knew this was awkward on many different levels and cared enough for the other woman to also want to make it special and not completely instructional.

The pair continued their silence as they casually walked up to their apartment door, hand in hand. This was going to happen, or at least be attempted, but nothing seemed rushed about it. As Adrianne pulled the blonde by her hand towards her bedroom, Quinn followed without argument. Her mind was racing, trying to grasp on to something or anything to think about but there was nothing there. Her heart was already racing and she was almost certain that Adrianne could tell her hands were sweating. In the back of her mind she was expecting the brunette to pull her over to the bed like she did when they were grinding and just start heated kisses, working things up to that next step quickly, but she didn't.

Adrianne stopped just inside her bedroom and turned around to face Quinn, meeting her with a gentle look in her eyes and a soft smile on her lips. She didn't move to do anything or even say anything until Quinn relaxed in the moment, adjusting to the idea of what was about to happen before anything actually did. Stepping forward, Adrianne placed a slow and tender kiss on the blonde's lips and waited for it to be returned. This needed to be special, not rushed. Once she reluctantly pulled away, she removed her jacket and draped it on a nearby chair.

Adrianne reminded herself one last time that if Quinn felt vulnerable, she would never go through with anything feeling that way and would probably feel more reluctant to try anything she suggested, sexual or not. Quinn needed to feel that she was in control of what was going on, that she was doing it, not having it done to her. So Adrianne stood in front of her again, not meeting her eyes in a form of submission and began to unbutton her own blouse. She could feel Quinn's eyes follow her fingers' work and even lick her lips as the third button released and an area of skin was exposed. She wanted this, but was just scared and unsure.

When the last button was gone, Adrianne slowly pulled the garment down off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor, giving Quinn time to soak in the sight of the half naked woman in front of her, not wanting to rush into the next step. Then she gently took Quinn's hands in hers and brought them up to her neck, holding them under hers on each side as she slowly raised her eyes to the blonde's for the first time. They looked deeply at each other and Quinn understood. It was her turn to make the next move. Adrianne would guide her, but she needed to agree to it.

The blonde gently ran her thumbs up and down the column of the brunette's neck like she had so many times and took a step closer, wetting her lips with a quick dart of her tongue. They stopped, both with their eyes closed and faces just centimeters away before Quinn lifted her chin slightly into the most tender kiss she had ever given. At the contact Adrianne dropped her hands from Quinn's and reached behind her, unhooking her bra and letting it fall to the floor to join her blouse. The blonde's hands travel slowly down Adrianne's neck and shoulders, spreading chill pumps as she went. Adrianne could feel her nipples hardening already. Once Quinn's hands cupped Adrianne's shoulders, she pulled her lips away from the brunette's and rested their foreheads together as she looked down between their bodies to her girlfriend's perfect breasts.

She had to swallow hard around the lump of nerves in her throat and nearly gasped for breath afterward. But she couldn't stop now. She needed to know. Her hands continued their slow path down Adrianne's arms and then slid over to her hips, massaging the skin with light circles of her thumbs. Feeling the warm skin under her touch was mesmerizing to her. She just wanted to feel more and have her closer. Adrianne's eyes were shut and her brow furrowed at the slow and agonizing pace Quinn was using as she ran her fingers up her bare sides and ribs, then back down. She was embarrassed to admit that she might come just off of the blonde's touch that she had been wanting for so long.

When Quinn's gentle fingers ran upward again, Adrianne inhaled a ragged breath, begging Quinn for something more. The blonde repositioned her hands and gently cupped Adrianne's breasts, messaging the fleshy mounds in exploration, feeling their weight in her hands. She had never touched another woman's breasts before and Adrianne's were much larger than her own. Quinn licked her lips again, unconsciously, as she ran her thumbs over the brunette's hardened nipples before leaning down and taking one in her mouth. Adrianne gasped and shifted her weight on her feet, feeling the extent of her already pooling wetness on her thighs, before she lightly placed one hand on the back of Quinn's head in encouragement and the other rested on the blonde's upper back.

Quinn's massages grew a little stronger with her confidence as she sucked on the pink bud and listened to the effect she was having on her girlfriend already. The moans and gasps of sharp breaths were the sexiest thing she had ever heard and drove her further. She pivoted and took the other hardened nipple between her lips, swirling her tongue around it. As the moans grew louder Quinn stood up and kissed Adrianne deeply but unhurried. She was committed to this now. When they pulled apart, they locked eyes as Adrianne slowly unbuttoned her pants while Quinn slipped out of her jacket. It was only when the brunette had discarded her remaining clothing and took her girlfriend by the hand that Quinn looked her over and nearly died at the perfection she saw.

Adrianne guided her over to her bed and crawled into the middle of it backwards, watching as Quinn followed, scanning her with hungry eyes as she moved to lay down next to her on her side. The blonde's free hand instantly found Adrianne's left breast again and returned to her work of pleasuring it but Adrianne had other ideas. Quinn's eyes lifted to hers when the older woman stilled her massaging hand with hers and slowly began to lower it down her torso. Their locked gazes were unblinking as their hands inched lower, feeling the quivering muscles. Quinn's breathing sped up when their conjoined hands hovered past the neatly trimmed patch of dark curls. Adrianne's eyes snapped shut as she guided Quinn's fingers between the crease of her thighs and to brush against her clit.

Quinn was breathing turned hard as she took Adrianne's cue and made tiny circles in her wetness, focusing on the hard bundle of nerves as she watched the brunette writhe and moan at her actions. She was amazed that she was causing this and couldn't pull her eyes away. She experimented with speed and pressure, finding the faster she moved her fingers the more tense and vocal the woman became and, God, she loved hearing her. It sent a surge of arousal right to her core. She sped up her pace and watched as Adrianne bit her bottom lip and moaned as she played with her own breast with one hand while the other encouraged Quinn to apply more pressure to her. Quinn did and the louder Adrianne got, the faster she went. She needed to see how loud she could be.

"Oh... Oh... Oh fuck, Baby. You're going to make me cum. I'm right there."

Quinn sped up until her arm burned and ached and just when she thought she was going to have to stop Adrianne's hips bucked upward and a scream of pleasure ripped from the back of her throat as her body arched off the mattress. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen, watching the smile on her girlfriend's face as she shook. She had seen it before when they were grinding, but there was something about this time, somehow being more in control and the cause of it... it was amazing to her.

"Oh, God. Slow down." Adrianne panted, returning both hands on top of Quinn's to slow her fingers as she turned her face into the blonde's shoulder. "Yeah. That's good. Right like that." Quinn had forgotten about the burning muscles as she leaned down and lightly placed a kiss on her girlfriend's shoulder, needing that little touch more. Once Adrianne came down off of her high, she opened her eyes and looked up at the blonde. Quinn had the look of hungry lust in her eyes. She wanted more. And Adrianne would be damned if she wouldn't let her have it.

Adrianne grunted lightly as she stilled Quinn's fingers and guided them lower still. Quinn felt her entrance and studied her eyes as she slipped her middle finger inside. They both moaned as Adrianne's walls clamped down around her. It was a strange feeling, yet somehow inviting. The blonde pulled back and slid it in again, moaning again at the feel of the warm heat and the fluids coating her finger. Eager for more of this feeling, the blonde shifted her weight on to her knees, more kneeling than laying on the bed now, and moved her hand, pressing a second finger to Adrianne' entrance and looking up for permission. After a quick nod, Quinn slide the other inside with the same effect.

Adrianne rocked her hips, encouraging Quinn to move in time with her. "This is alright?" Those had been the first words Quinn had spoken since leaving the restaurant and was left shocked at how low her voice sounded.

Adrianne nodded again, licking her lips and running her hands through her hair as she continued to rock in time. "Yeah, Baby. That's amazing. So amazing." Quinn moved again, positioning herself over Adrianne so she had more leverage as she began to explore with each pulse of her fingers, feeling every inch that she could reach. "Oh!" Adrianne's hands swung down and clasped Quinn's braced arm. "Fuck, right there." Quinn moved her fingers back to where they were, curved slightly upward and pushed in again, earning the same reaction.

She understood that she had found the spot that she was looking for and focused in on it, expertly hitting it with each increasing thrust of her fingers. She watched as Adrianne was coming undone under her, screaming enough to give the asshole up stairs a run for his money, and instructing her on what to do. Faster, harder, don't stop. Quinn stared at her face, unblinking as she watched her go over a second time, shaking even more than before as her muscular inner walls nearly crushed the blonde's fingers. The only thing that distracted her from the beauty of what just happened was the painful throbbing between her legs.

Adrianne smiled as she came back around and called for Quinn to come up to where she was. She took the blonde's hand and seductively sucked her middle finger into her mouth, swirling her tongue around it and earning a gasp and groan from the blonde. "Have the other." Adrianne offered, giving her her hand back. Quinn never broke from the brunette's green eyes as she took it in her mouth and tasted the foreign taste of the older woman. It was unlike anything she had tasted before, but oddly appealing.

The brunette suddenly sat up when Quinn removed her finger and met her with a deep, lustful kiss and began quickly unbuttoning the blonde's blouse. Feeling Adrianne's hands on her set waves of arousal through her, each echoing down in her core. She had never been so turned on before and most of her nerves fled. Adrianne was having issues controlling her need and as soon as the last button released, her hands were running down the length of Quinn's torso, lifting her bra as they came up. She broke form Quinn's lips and lowered her head, taking on of the blonde's nipples in her mouth.

Quinn released a shaking moan as her arms trembled underneath her. The sensation of the warm, wet tongue swirling around her was amazing and sent tingling waves off in her lower abdomen. "Oh fuck." Adrianne moaned and the vibrations reverberated further while the blonde tried to clinch her thighs together to release some of the pressure.

"No." The brunette stopped her, sitting up and binging Quinn with her so she was kneeling between Adrianne's legs. Their lips crashed together in another heated kiss as Quinn struggled to get her blouse and bra off while Adrianne pulled at her belt and zipper. Once free from her shirt and bra, the blonde reclined back and helped her girlfriend removed her lower articles of clothing. The brunette's hands instantly began explore the bare legs before her as she adjusted her position to her knees between Quinn's legs. "You're gorgeous, Quinn."

Quinn would have blushed if she wasn't in such need. She had never wanted someone's hands on her so bad. Never wanted someone in her so badly. She called for Adrianne with her arm and the brunette trailed a line of steady kisses up her left arm to her neck, lowering her hips between the blonde's thighs which instinctively came up to cradle her sides. Adrianne could feel the residue of Quinn's wetness as she did. It turned her on all over again.

"Do you feel good?" Adrianne asked, catching Quinn's bottom lip between hers and holding it before finally letting it go to look into her new lover's eyes. "You're okay?" The blonde nodded her head, running her hands up and down Adrianne's back. She was over feeling like she needed to be in control. She knew what was coming and wanted it now.

The brunette shifted her weight onto her left arm and lowered her right between them, running the back of her fingers against the inside of Quinn's thigh before moving to her folds and instantly finding her clit. Quinn gasped and her hip bucked up to meet the new connection. As Adrianne massaged her with a steady pace, Quinn wrapped her arms around her neck, pulling her in closer. She thought what they had been doing felt great, but this... this was something so much more. No wonder Adrianne had been dying to do this.

She could feel Adrianne's smirk growing against her neck as her erotic, animalistic moans filled the bedroom. Her body was in overdrive. Between her thundering heart, her inability to keep her breath, the layer of sweat that was cooling her body as it only escalated in temperature further, and the spasming muscles all over her body, Quinn was gone. She couldn't think. She couldn't speak. All she could do was feel as Adrianne hesitantly lowered her fingers and paused. Quinn grunted in frustration but knew her girlfriend wouldn't continue without something a bit more definite as a response.

"Tell me." The brunette whispered, lifting her head to meet Quinn's eyes. She was still struggling with her words. Instead, running her hands down Adrianne's neck to her chest to fondle her breasts again. "Tell me it's okay. Tell me what you want." Quinn didn't need much, just that little push.

"I want you in me." If it was possible, Adrianne's emerald eyes darkened even more with the confessed desire and gently slide her middle finger in, holding it still as Quinn adjusted and her body clamped down around her. It felt amazing and so much better than any of her best memories of Puck. "More."

Adrianne smiled as she withdrew her finger and added her index before slowly returning them to the moist heat. She had wanted to be with Quinn like this from the beginning, but when realizing the emotional damage that she had inherited, was more than comfortable with waiting to share this moment. She wanted Quinn to be ready, but not so scared that she wouldn't enjoy it. Sex and intimacy was something more than just getting off to Adrianne. She had only ever been with people that she had been in a steady relationship with except for that last one. Then again, she had gone on several dates with her too. She just felt that when you were this close to someone, you shared a bond. Not just for an hour or however long you messed around, but forever, and wasn't a fan of one night stands or casual sex. She wanted to be that someone special for Quinn, to make up for what she never got from Puck. Someone who would hold this moment as something as important and monumental as the blonde did.

That's why now, her eyes studied her lover's face, memorizing the look of pleasure and freedom. Quinn wasn't worried or scared or hurting right now. She was just free.

"Oh, my God. That feels so good." Quinn stated, opening her eyes and smiling at Adrianne who beamed back.

"I can make you feel better." The brunette stated as she continued her slow but steady pulses.

"I honestly... hmm... I don't think that's possible."

Adrianne lowered her mouth to Quinn's ear and panted a few hot breaths. "Just wait." She started slow, lingering kisses down her neck, through the valley between her small breasts, and finally down her flexing abdomen. When she finally settled between Quinn's legs, she looked up to the blonde who was biting her bottom lip in anticipation. Lazily, Adrianne ran her tongue in circles around Quinn's clit and her head dropped backwards, releasing the sexiest moan Adrianne had heard yet. She removed her tongue and waited for Quinn to regain some of her breath, continuing the movement of her fingers but slowing down. There was no rush right now.

Once she had, Adrianne swirled her tongue around the bud again before sucking it between her lips, causing Quinn to arch off the bed. She had planned on teasing her girlfriend a little bit but she couldn't hold out herself any longer with the noises the blonde was making. She needed to see her come undone. Adrianne sped up the pace of her fingers and matched it with rotating flicks, swirls and sucks of her clit and it didn't take long at all before the blonde's hips bucked violently against her and tried to strangle her screams of pleasure in her throat, biting her bottom lip until she could taste blood. Adrianne rode it out as long as she could before kissing a trail back up the blonde's still quivering stomach and reluctantly withdrawing her fingers.

There was no talking afterward, just sweet, gentle kisses as Quinn draped her arms around her lovers neck as her senses slowly started coming back to her. "That was unbelievable."

Adrianne smiled proudly and lingered in their next kiss. "I'm glad. I wanted to show you what intimacy can be like when you are with someone who truly cares for you and what you're feeling."

"Thank you." Quinn whispered in her ear as she pulled her down into a cradling embrace, feeling both of their hearts still pounding in their chests.

"You're welcome, Baby." The blonde nuzzled into her neck, refusing to release her hold on her as well. She felt safe with the brunette, secure. "Lets roll over and I'll hold you, okay?"

"Okay." Was the sleepy response she received as she rolled off of Quinn and accepted the blonde's head on her shoulder and arm laced around her waist. Adrianne smiled lightly to herself, feeling exhaustion take over as she pulled her covers awkwardly to cover them seeing as they were laying with their heads at the foot of the bed. They didn't care though. They were enjoying the unbreakable bond they had just made. Adrianne just hoped that everything remained this perfect when they woke up in the morning.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Alright. We are getting to where Rachel starts making 'appearances', however, to ease some fears, Quinn and Adrianne's relationship doesn't just fall apart over night. Again, it's a very complicated situation that they are in and don't even realize it just yet. A lot of the comments the women made about their relationship in BWYDT (especially Adiranne's) were all made out of hindsight. It's one of those things you can see so clearly when you look back, knowing it was there all along, despite the fact that you couldn't really see it as it was happening. Same with Quinn. She knew that Rachel was something special to her, but at the same time, she had Adrianne who was proving to be pretty perfect. So how did their relationship get so off course? That's what you're reading to find out. But again, nothing really happens over night with these two.**

**This chapter is a little short, but my mind wasn't in the right frame of mind to finish it out. I will be trying to work on the next chapter a head of time to make it a bit longer for you. Hopfeully tomorrow will free up my thoughts. I know I have had suggestions of seeing when Quinn met Adrianne's parents, maybe seeing Rachel on TV or in a magazine, and then that moment where Adrianne threw something at Quinn (All of which I had planned on doing) But are there any other things you would like to see? Let me know.**

**Enough rambling. I'll let you get to the story already. I'm glad you all are still enjoying it. Now that the two are truly together things will get fluffier because there are going to be more... I don't want to say angst moments, but something similar. Little peeks that are going to bother you simply because you already know what is coming. I'm trying to make them lighter by using fluff. But anyway, thank you for reading and especially reviewing. Let me know whatelse you want to see. Either in a comment or a private message. And lastly, enjoy!**

**~/~/~/~**

"Quinn... I have class in twenty minutes. You have to let go." There was a grumbling moan of protest as the blonde wrapped her arms tighter around her naked girlfriend's waist as they laid in bed. The bright morning light was crashing through the windows on to their faces, but Quinn just hid her eyes in Adrianne's flowing brown locks. "Quinn."

"No."

"I have class. And so do you for that matter." Adrianne stated with a bright smile as she peered across her bedroom while her attention was focused primarily on how cute the other woman was being.

"Skip it."

"Skip it?" The brunette echoed questioningly as she thought about it. She really was far too content to leave right now, but she couldn't always give Quinn what she wanted either. "Lets compromise. I'll stay, if you talk."

"You stay. No talk."

"Cavewoman, no give me orders." Quinn squeezed her again, not finding the joke humorous, and Adrianne laughed. "Seriously. I'm going to get up and get ready for class unless I'm skipping it for more than cuddle time."

"But I like cuddle time."

"I know, which should be more motivation for you to agree with my terms."

"Fine. What do you want to talk about?"

Adrianne bit her bottom lip and turned over to face Quinn. "Who is she?"

The blonde opened her eyes so she was squinting, still blocking out the harsh morning light. "She who?"

The brunette grabbed the left arm draped over her waist and lifted it in the air, successfully blocking the sun from Quinn's eyes and pointed to the faint tattoo on her wrist. "She is... So, who is 'she'?"

The blonde rolled over on her back, taking in a deep breath and stared at her wrist. She wasn't entirely sure how she wanted to explain that.. or if she even should. "She is the one person that I gave every single reason in the world to hate me... and she didn't." Adrianne looked at her with confusion written clearly on her face. "This girl..." Quinn ran her thumb over her wrist in memory. "I tortured this girl in high school. I mean, I watched as I made her cry. And I smiled as she did it."

"You don't strike me as the cruel type." Adrianne stated, tucking her hands under her chin as she watched her girlfriend continue to stare at the permanent mark on her body. "And clearly she meant enough to you to get a tattoo for her. So what was so horrible about her that you felt the need to torture her?"

Quinn shrugged and dropped her hand back down as she returned her eyes to the ceiling. "I was a very different person then. But there are two different sets of reasons for why I was cruel to her. What I told myself back then, and what I allowed myself to finally accept when I got this tattoo. Back then, I told myself that I tortured her because she was annoying, obnoxious, had a horrible fashion sense, rambled on and on with too many unneeded syllables, and had to make everything about her. It was a small conservative town and she had two gay dads." Quinn explained, knowing Adrianne probably wasn't going to be thrilled about this part. "And that by itself qualified her for harassment. My friends and I use to call her horrible names like RuPaul, Stubbles, Treasure Trail, Man Hands. I would draw pictures of her with a penis on the bathroom walls. We had her slushied almost daily in front of the whole school, and I'll tell you from personal experience, that shit hurts like a bitch."

Adrianne didn't have that warm look in her eyes anymore. "I still don't understand why you would get a tattoo to remind you of how badly you treated someone."

Quinn sighed and tried to come up with the right words to explain herself. "When I got pregnant, my friends shunned me. I didn't have anyone. They looked at me like I had some contagious disease or something. I had never felt so alone... I had never_ been _so alone." She paused, looking back up to the ceiling. "Out of everyone I knew, and after all the things I had done to her, she was the one to offer me a friendship. She said she didn't hate me for the things that I had done and offered to be there for me, knowing that I didn't have anyone else."

"Oh. So you two became friends?"

"No." Quinn stated, frowning at her past self. "I was too proud to accept her offer. You two are actually a lot alike though. Like you, she knew exactly who she was and wasn't ever going to let someone tell her differently. It didn't matter how much we made fun of her for who she was, she wasn't going to change. I wanted that confidence. I wanted that security in who I was as a person. I wanted the support and love that she received from her parents. I wanted that guaranteed spot on the first plane ride out of Ohio after graduation that she had secured from the first time she opened her mouth to sing. I was jealous of her... then. I was jealous of her back then. But I admire her strength now. 'She is...' is only part of it. There's more. The next little bit is 'I've seen', because during my struggles after I left Ohio, I was able to step back and actually see her. Not her clothes or her diva rants, but her character. I was able to appreciate what she had to offer." She held up her wrist. "This is a reminder of how someone I looked down upon can be so much more than I had ever imagined and I could have experience, if I had just looked."

Adrianne grabbed a hold of Quinn's wrist gently and ran her fingers over the tattoo while the blonde kicked herself for not having the guts to finish the rest of the story. How do you tell your current girlfriend that the rest of the tattoo's meaning is to describe just how perfect you think this other girl is? That this girl was the one that made you truly question your sexuality and made it a valid possibility in your mind? She couldn't. Adrianne had done so much to try and help her, she couldn't make it seem any less.

"Have you ever thought of meeting up with her? Maybe trying to start a friendship with her or something along those lines?"

"No." Quinn answered quickly, shaking her head. "I may have admitted to myself how influential she has been, but I'm not ready to share that with her yet." Quinn could only imagine the girl's reaction to having her high school tormentor walking up to her out of the blue and praising her for all the positive that she's brought to her life. She would think Quinn was insane and run away screaming. "Besides, I've broken from my past and I'm not looking to fall back into it again. Not yet anyway. I'd rather figure out everything in the present first." She explained, lacing her fingers in Adrianne's.

The brunette smiled and kissed her hand. "Just like I said. Get comfortable with who you are, so you don't get sucked back into what you were strong enough to leave the first time. Then try and salvage what there is left."

"Yeah, maybe in time."

"Yeah," Adrianne agreed, wiggling closer and resting her head on the blonde's shoulder. "I'd like to meet her. See this girl who has caused you to re-evaluate your life." Quinn widened her eyes but didn't say anything, trying to figure out what kind of a mess she might have just got herself into. "What about your other tattoo? What words miss. Explain that one to me."

Quinn's mind raced. "How many of my tattoos have you seen?"

The brunette lifted her head to look into her eyes. "How many of them do you have?"

"I-I... a few." Quinn groaned and playful rolled back over to Adrianne, burying her face in her pillow. "I would rather not discuss those yet. Maybe once you really get to know me first. They mean a lot to me and actually cover that part of my life between Ohio and you on a very deep level. I'm still scared that you are going to figure out just how much of a freak I am and run out the door."

"I don't think you're a freak. You're deep and sometimes I have issues following you, but I don't think you're a freak for it. I find it sometimes refreshing."

"Sometimes though. Probably all the other times you just find it exhausting."

Adrianne smiled weakly before rolling over and resting her head on Quinn's shoulder. "I'm just not use to being around someone with an intellect like yours."

"Because I'm a weird."

"No." The brunette laughed and took Quinn's hand in hers. "Because you're special."

~/~/~/~

Neither woman made it to any of their classes that day and not even out of the apartment. "Pizza's here." Adrianne called as she closed the front door.

"And you probably gave the poor delivery guy a heart attack by opening the door dressed like that." Quinn stated, leaning against Adrianne's bedroom doorway as the brunette paused to examined the clothes she had on. They were short boy shorts and a white tank top that exposed part of her stomach.

"What's wrong with this? It's not like I answered in my towel again."

"I can see your nipples through that shirt."

Adrianne smirked and continued her trek to the kitchen with a bit of a bounce to her step. "Maybe I intended it to be that way."

"Did you?" The blonde asked, quietly stalking over to stand behind her girlfriend, running her hands over her hips and across her stomach. "Because that's just cruel if you did."

Adrianne was instantly aroused. The fact that Quinn was placing light kisses along the exposed skin of her shoulder and neck didn't help with that fact either. "Do you even understand how easily you have an effect on me like this?" She asked as she leaned her head slightly forward, allowing Quinn to continue her kisses along her neck.

"No. Tell me."

The older woman smiled as her eyes shut. "Do you even realize how sexy it is to hear you say that?"

"Maybe..."

"So you're playing with me then? Teasing me?" She asked as the blonde's hands lowered to explore her thighs and then worked their was back up over her ass before Quinn stepped closer, molding her front to Adrianne.

She pressed her mouth to Adrianne's ear and whispered. "I've always been a good tease." Then grabbed a slice of pizza and left the kitchen with a beaming smile on her face.

"Right. Good little Christian girl. I forgot." Adrianne dropped her head down into her hand to try and regain some self-control. "Now that I have mentally de-virginized you, you're going to be hell to live with, aren't you?"

"Only half the time." Quinn called out from the other room. "The other half you can continue to teach me how to make it heaven for you instead."

"Well, hurry up and eat your dinner so I can continue to work on that with you."

Quinn giggled to herself as Adrianne walked into the living room and took a seat on the couch next to her, pizza box in hand. "I love how you specified to hurry up and eat _dinner_."

The brunette cocked her head to the side. "So the good little Christian girl has a perverted mind. Nice. I do have a question though. After your discovery of grinding, I didn't think we would ever go a day without it. Not that I'm complaining of course."

"Of course not." Quinn teased, knowing where Adrianne was headed with her question.

"Do you think that will carry over into your latest discovery?"

"I really don't think you have to worry about me ordering Dino's pizza every night now that I know they deliver."

"What?" Quinn laughed silently as it sank in and Adrianne rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."

"I do. I just wanted to give you a hard time."

"Right, so?" Adrianne asked sheepishly as Quinn studied her with a grin.

"Are you a sex addict?" The brunette growled at the deflection and blushed at the question at the same time. "Seriously. I need to know something like that. Have you ever considered seeking professional help for your problem before?"

"Hey. I don't like being on the end of this picking game."

"Then we might have a problem." Quin stated, pulling her legs underneath her on the couch and taking a bit of her pizza. "Because I don't like being on that end of it either."

"Rather it be you than me." Adrianne teased as she kicked up her feet on the coffee table and ate her own slice.

"I'm sure you do."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Adrianne stated to shift in her seat continuously. Quinn knew she had her where she wanted her and just had to wait until the silence and the lack of an answer became too much. The blonde leaned over, resting her weight on a hand she placed on the sofa between them, and grabbed another slice of pizza, making sure her face was just inches away from her girlfriend's. She locked their eyes together as she moved back to her own seat and then turned back to the TV.

"Quinn?"

"Adrianne?"

"Can I have an answer?"

"Can I have the question?"

The brunette stared hard at those hazel eyes for a moment then closed the pizza box, setting it down on the coffee table before reaching over and pulling Quinn's food from her hand and dropping it on top of the table as well. "Figure the question out for yourself." She stated as she captured Quinn's mouth with hers. The blonde let out a squeak as the older woman grabbed her calves and pulled her legs out from underneath her, effectively laying the now giggling blonde down on the couch, one leg on each side of her hips.

"I like how you ask your questions." Quinn teased as she wrapped her arms around Adrianne's neck and melted into the next kiss. If she thought she had felt safe and free to be herself with this woman before, she was wrong. Quinn felt all of her walls disappear completely with each kiss. Adrianne didn't care about what had happened in her past. She didn't care what mistakes she had made or if her opinion differed from her own. She just wanted Quinn to be happy and comfortable, to be herself. How on earth could she not fall deeper for this woman? She was everything that she needed. That constant voice telling her it was okay. That she was allowed to be happy. And without those walls, she was falling for Adrianne.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I know updates have been a little short lately, but I just got done with a 100+ hour work period and my brain is pretty much shot. With that being said, no update on Thursday so I can sort out my thoughts and hopefully give you all a real nice long update on Saturday. I don't like leaving you all hanging but I think it's needed in order to give you something worth reading.**

**On another note, I must say that I am intrigued by your pleas for two separate endings. I'm glad you love these two together and I'm also (sadly) glad that you are on Adrianne's side. That's what I was wanting. And with the little bit that I do have planned for in this story... you're only going to dislike Quinn even more. But if you do re-read BWYDT, I hope you see most of Quinn's actions as more of tough love. She finally accepted what needed to be done and did it because she couldn't be unfair anymore.**

**In this chapter, I start laying out how Quinn and Adrianne got to be where they were in regards to famous photographer and assistant (paid assistant). It's not much of a base created here, but it's the beginnings. It sets up something else but I can't remember... Oh. Requested sexytimes in here. And pretty much no editing due to a bit of a head ache. Sorry. I swear I will eventually get better at providing myself with time to edit.**

**But anyway. Thank to everyone who is reading and reviewing and those of you who are sending me messages. I read them all. Some multiple times. I love hearing your thoughts on things. So thank you all. I hope you enjoy. And I will post again on Saturday. (I promise it will be longer).**

**~/~/~/~**

"Adrianne, hurry it up. We're going to be late." Quinn called out as she messed with the settings on her camera, checking the battery, and the memory card.

"So, how do I look?"

The blonde pivoted slightly to look behind her at the brunette who was expertly displaying her wardrobe. They were the skimpiest short rainbow shorts Quinn had ever seen and displayed the brunette's long legs well enough that she couldn't even stop the moan from rising from the back of her throat. Then there was the skin tight white tank with a rainbow across her prominently displayed breasts. "Good God, woman."

"You like what you see?" All Quinn could do was nod her head. "Good, then perhaps it will be easier to tempt you to change."

"I'm not wearing anything like that. I would be so uncomfortable with all that skin showing." The blonde stated as Adrianne approached and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's neck, pecking her lips lightly.

"You don't have to. But this is not an event for one of your sun dresses either. So, you. Jeans. Now. Need to show off that amazing ass of yours more often. And I have a pride shirt for you too." The blonde arched an eyebrow at her suggestion. "Babe, you and I have been dating for how long? Holding hands and kissing for how long? Having amazing sex for how many endless nights in a row now?"

Quinn couldn't help but drop her eyes and shake her head as she blushed. She loved the bluntness of her girlfriend, but it still embarrassed her sometimes, even if no one else was around to hear what was being said. It was simply the fact that it was said. "I'm not ashamed of being gay. I just... there's that part of me that thinks that pride parades are doing exactly what homophobic people say we do, rub our sexuality in their faces."

"It's not about rubbing anything in anyone's face. It's about putting faces to the cause. Showing our numbers. That it's not just a handful of us that want equality, but a huge mass of us. A mass that can't be denied. And for you," She cooed, grabbing Quinn's hands in hers. "I'm hoping it will be that one last step you take, truly accepting who you are."

"I know who I am."

"Fine, that you know who you are and you aren't afraid of going to hell for it. That you are actually proud of what we have."

"Now that was a low blow." Quinn warned, suddenly feeling guilty and wondering if Adrianne thought she was ashamed of their relationship.

"It wasn't meant to be a low blow. I'm sorry. I don't always think of how what I am saying comes out." Adrianne winced, dropping her forehead to Quinn's in apology. "Just that you're proud to have made a choice that most wont agree with and you're sticking to it. That's all."

"I am proud." The blonde stated softly before lifting her head and Adrianne's, delivering a chaste kiss to her lips. "I am very proud to have found someone that makes me feel comfortable enough with myself in order to make that choice."

Adrianne smiled proudly and bit her bottom lip between her teeth. "So this means you'll wear the shirt?"

"I'll wear the shirt. It does actually cover my boobs though, right?"

"Yes. I know how modest you are so I picked you up an actual tee-shirt instead of a tank. Go get into those jeans I love on you." Adrianne stated as the blonde walked towards her bedroom with a bit of a blush. "The modesty thing, by the way, completely adorable."

"Shut up."

"Why? It's cute. You have a killer body but still blush if someone compliments you on it."

Quinn rolled her eyes as she reached the bedroom door but then paused before shutting it. "You're actually going to allow me to change by myself?"

The brunette laughed with a bit of a playful growl mixed in. "Like you said, if we delay any longer, we will be late." Quinn smirked and nodded as she finally closed the door. "And when are you going to finally just move into my room? You've slept there almost every night for the last two weeks anyway."

"When I can trust you enough to know that I wont wake up with your hand down my pants all the time" The blonde called back through the closed door, leaving Adrianne smirking to herself.

"Maybe when you actually tell me to stop."

"I heard that."

"Good. And yet you still aren't telling me to... Hi." Adrianne smiled devilishly as her eyes scanned over Quinn's body. The blonde emerged from her room in only her jeans and bra, awaiting the shirt Adrianne had for her.

"Hi yourself. Can I have my shirt?" Adrianne shook her head, her eyes still taking in the sight before her. "Please?"

"No. You have to work for it."

Quinn arched an eyebrow and smiled, stepping closer to Adrianne who hooked her fingers in the waist of her jeans. "And how would I do that exactly?"

"I can think of a way."

The brunette fell backwards, laying on the couch, and pulled Quinn to lay down on top of her, instantly finding Adrianne's lips with hers. "I like this way."

"I knew you would." The older woman mused, gasping as the blonde's mouth ventured down to her neck, lightly nipping at her pulse spot. Quinn was a quick learner indeed, and just as in need as Adrianne could have hopped. It was like she was trying to make up for all those years of repressed sexual need. Every night. Sometimes during the day. But always with the same amount of passion and desire. And almost always in control.

Adrianne loved it. Normally she was the dominate one, but found Quinn to have just the right amount of push and pull. Yet still eager enough to follow if guided into something a bit more. The first time they really started fulling around on the couch after their first night together, Quinn had stopped them so they could go to the bedroom instead. She said she felt exposed being in the living room despite the fact that they were the only two who lived there. But now... location wasn't really a problem.

"Are you not wearing any panties?" The blonde asked teasingly as she slid her hands down the back of Adrianne's short shorts, palming her ass before dragging them down her legs.

"No, I'm not." Adrianne answered plainly as her hands fell down Quinn's torso as she sat up to discard the rainbow shorts. Once Adrianne had finished with the jeans Quinn had just put on at her request, the blonde leaned forward, removing them as well as the brunette worked on her bra.

"We are so... going to be late." Quinn stated between kisses as she settled her hips between the brunette's thighs, moaning as Adrianne's trained hands gently kneaded her small breasts.

"We're just having our own pride party first."

The blonde smiled as she pushed her girlfriend's shirt up and twirled her tongue around a quickly hardening nipple. "You, my dear, are a sex addict."

"Not addicted." She panted as she moved Quinn's golden locks out of the way to watch her as she worked each breast. "Just really, really like it. And you do it so well for a beginner." Suddenly Quinn surged upward, capturing Adrianne's mouth roughly with hers before Adrianne gasped as the blonde unexpected inserted a finger. "Oh, fuck."

Quinn smiled down on her as she began to rock against the photographer's rotating thumb while she pulsed her finger in and out at a teasingly slow pace. "I just had a really, really good teacher. Who has somehow always managed to make me feel incredibly comfortable in whatever situation I find myself in... such as this."

Adrianne laughed wickedly underneath her. "Remind me to thank her later."

"I can thank her now if you would like."

"That would be great actually."

Quinn smiled and lowered herself into a deep, sensual kiss that was the first of many she began trailing down the brunette's jaw line. She sank her teeth into Adrianne's pulse spot in a raw, animalistic fashion that sent a fresh wave of arousal washing through her girlfriend but made sure not to get carried away and leave a serious mark before moving on. Her hot kisses continued their journey over her prominent collarbone and down the valley of her breasts before the were joined by slow swirls of her tongue on the heated skin of Adrianne's stomach. The lower they went, the slower they became, sending urgent need through the writhing brunette.

Quinn had learned a little too quickly how to tease. Although Adrianne was fairly certain it was a natural gift for the blonde. "Quinn," She panted, shutting her eyes tightly as she brought on hand to her hair and the other to lace in Quinn's. "Please."

"You get on edge so easily."

"Only because you put me there."

The blonde smiled before skipping the next kiss and connecting her tongue unsuspectingly to her girlfriend's clit, sending Adrianne arching off of the couch. Quinn couldn't decide which she like more, having Adrianne doing this to her, or seeing what she could do to Adrianne. Each was intoxicating in its own way. She loved the sensations that Adrianne gave her, the pleasure, the feeling of being needed and wanted. But giving like this, this was power. And one thing that she could never deny as a Fabray, was she loved power.

She loved knowing if she did a certain thing with her tongue, Adrianne would moan. If she pushed a certain direction with her finger, Adrianne would cuss and beg for more. It was all in Quinn's hands. She had control to give or to take away. And she couldn't help but admit that that fact was as big of a turn on as anything Adrianne could do to her.

"God, Babe... that is so good." Adrianne panted before she moaned as Quinn sucked her well teased clit between her lips firmly. The blonde smirked, knowing that she was getting to the end. She sent her tongue on a feverous attack of flicks and swirls, never letting up as she angled her finger just right, sending Adrianne into a fit or cusses, moans, screams, and writhing. This was the control that felt almost as good as an orgasm to her. If it wasn't so cruel, she would do this all day long, keeping Adrianne just on the edge before she dropped over it. Then again... maybe Adrianne might enjoy that. "Oh, shit. I'm gonna cum."

Quinn sped up her tongue as fast as she could, trying to match the thrusting of her fingers until Adrianne cried out and clamped down around her as she came. Quinn could already feel herself on edge from the pleasure she heard in her lovers voice and moved up, resting her temple on Adrianne's. The brunette had never said anything or teased Quinn about how little she needed after moments like this. Adrianne just smiled and let her fingers do the work, slipping between Quinn's folds and working her bundle of nerves until she finally fell over the edge as well. It was like she knew that the blonde could almost get off on just the power and the reaction she received and didn't mind at all.

They laid there panting for several minutes, Quinn occasionally placing light kisses on her lover's neck while Adrianne ran her hands through the damp blonde hair. "I think." Adrianne panted. "You should thank your teacher like that more often."

The blonde smirked and forced her wobbling arms to hold her weight as she pushed herself up so they could get dressed again. "Perhaps, I will thank her again tonight."

"And you call me the sex addict."

~/~/~/~

Quinn was feeling the freedom, feeling the acceptance, and the silent bond that she had with the crowd dancing and cheering around her as she slowly moved through them, hidden behind her camera. Everyone was smiling and laughing, dancing along to the music and enjoying each other's company. She had several couples pose for her with the biggest smiles she had ever seen or share a quick kiss to be captured through her lense. It was love and she couldn't help herself from smiling along with them. But that smile quickly faded when her camera focus changed to the background and she saw a photo she couldn't help but capture.

Even when the couple returned home, the blonde's mood was still dampened as she sat slumped at the computer chair, staring at each detail of it.

"You look depressed." Adrianne stated as she stepped out of the bathroom, wringing her hair dry from her shower. "Why do you look depressed?"

"Because I am depressed."

The brunette stopped her actions and studied her girlfriend before slowly walking over to where she was. Adrianne set her towel over the back of the soda and stood behind the seated blonde, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and giving her long neck a quick kiss. "What's wrong, Babe?"

"This." She said softly, pointing to the monitor. Adrianne looked at the picture and studied it for a second. Blurred in the foreground was a smiling face with a pride rainbow painted on a cheek, but focused in the background was a group of frowning bystanders, disapproval apparent in their eyes.

Adrianne understood why Quinn was so defeated as she felt the energy drain from her body. It was hard to believe and feel something that most disagreed with, but being reminded of that always felt like a sucker punch. This photo was no different.

"I hate how it makes me feel." The blonde stated absently as Adrianne stood up. "But I like the photo. It has... I don't know. It just makes me feel." The brunette was on the same page. The photo made her sad, angry, and yet motivated to do something, all at the same time. She had never been so emotionally affected by something as simple as a photo before.

"Keep it. Put it in your portfolio."

"I'm not exactly sure this belongs next to wedding photos and little Johnny blowing out his birthday candles."

"Then start a new one. Put some of those other pictures I told you were amazing in there. I mean, you said you wanted to make a living off of photography but not by doing weddings and reunions. So why don't you actually start doing something to make that happen?"

Quinn turned around, wondering how this suddenly became about her and her short commings. "What's your problem?"

"Nothing. I just..." Adrianne paused, now sensing what Quinn was offended by. She took a breath and attempted to change her tone of voice to something a bit softer. "I'm sorry. It's just that you have this gift of capturing things unlike anyone I know. Yet all you do with them is stare at them on a screen and push them to the background."

"I'm just trying to build up a collection."

"Quinn, you have a collection. And all it really takes is one photo. That photo even." She stated, pointing to the screen. "I can totally see that on a website or printed in a magazine. You should send it in. See if someone is interested in publishing it or something."

The blonde turned back to the screen and studied her photo. She liked the photo. It had depth and meaning and that was why she took it, but she hated what it actually captured. "I don't know."

"You don't know what? Watermark it or whatever you do to it and send it in. Click a few emails and push a few buttons. Simple as that."

Quinn huffed a laugh. "Physically, yes. But emotionally and mentally, it's not nearly that simple." Adrianne didn't get it but Quinn was still terrified putting herself out there to willingly be judged. Weddings, birthdays, reunions... they all had standard requirements. Just capture the people there. Posed photos. Specifically timed photos, but no real creativity in them to be judged. A photo like this, that hit a chord in her... that was different. What if someone else didn't see it? What if they ripped it apart and tried to make it something less than what she felt? She just wasn't quite ready for that yet. "Maybe one day."

"One day my ass. I'm going to push you until it happens." Adrianne stated as she walked away, grabbing her towel to finish drying her hair.

Quinn smiled and reclined back in her chair, stretching from the long emotional day. "Push away, just remember what it tends to get you."

"Angry sex?"

"We haven't ventured there yet."

The brunette shrugged but smiled with her green eyes. "It could be pretty hot though."


	13. Try This Again

**A/N: Maybe third time is a charm for actually getting this to load. Sorry about there being no update yesterday, but my brain was fried. However, my muse (or half muse) helped me out of my slump and gave me some inspiration for a few chapters actually. But before we get into that, I have to address a few of the questions/comments I got from the last chapter all the way back on Tuesday.**

**The reason I needed to take Thursday off was to get my thoughts together. This story is emotionally complex and I was just far too exhausted to put the needed attention into it, so let me explain where we are.**

**The BFF vibe is intentional. The constant sex or sex references are somewhat intentional as well. Quinn is still exploring yet finding she is enjoying Adrianne's company as well. She's kind of mixing admiration and physical attraction together and trying to define exactly what she's feeling. There wasn't much in that last chapter of Adrianne's thoughts and feelings and _that _is where the actual couple-y feelings come in. She wants Quinn and Quin wants to want Adrianne, but her heart is of course else where. This makes their relationship complicated and drawn out, Quinn is trying to find her feelings and Adrianne just kind of sticks around for the ride, hoping that in the end Quinn is still there. This will also explain in greater detail why Adrianne was so put off by the thought of starting a relationship with Kim who, in her mind, was just finding herself as well. Adrianne didn't want to end up being another woman's experiment.**

**Adrianne was a stepping stone for Quinn. Quinn worked out her general feelings on life while in the safety and protection of Adrianne's feelings, then moved on to what she actually wanted. The friendship between the two has always been solid and equal. The relationship has always been one sided. That is what this fic is about. It's not an epic love story. That's reserved for Rachel and Quinn. There is love involved but not that deep of an emotion. You can't have Quinn confessing her undying love for one woman and then another right afterward. If that still doesn't cover any questions you had, still feel free to ask. I don't mind explaining if I need to. I know this isn't a 'cut and dry' fic like most are.**

**~/~/~/~**

"What about this one?" Adrianne asked holding up a photo, unconsciously waving it from side to side as her eyes scanned the others still on her bed. Quinn set her box of clothes down and leaned onto the brunette's bed and grabbed her wrist, stilling her arm so she could see what photo it was.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? It's an awesome picture."

Quinn shrugged and released her girlfriend's arm, returning her attention to her clothes that she was placing into the drawers Adrianne had emptied for her. "I just don't know if it's good enough or special enough to be put into a portfolio."

"Quinn, all your stuff is amazing." The brunette mumbled as she put that photo in the 'I like it but Quinn is being a pain in the ass' pile. "I think I would do better as your manager or agent than I ever will as your assistant. Otherwise you're going to be doing birthday parties for the rest of your life."

"I appreciate your encouragement." The blonde mumbled and Adrianne rolled her eyes. She set the pictures down and got off the bed. Quinn saw her in the mirror and shut the dresser drawer, turning around as she approached. "What?"

Adrianne smiled faintly, feeling Quinn's frustrations and fears as her own. With the slightest movement, she leaned forward and kissed Quinn lightly, lingering in the connection. "You are amazing."

"No I'm not." The photographer whispered back as their temples rested against each other and she ran her hands down Adrianne's arms.

"You are." Adrianne stated, lifting her head so she could look Quinn in the eyes, but the blonde refused to look at her. "Baby, look at me." She just shook her head so Adrianne stepped closer, pulling her closer with arms around her waist. "You have more talent in your little finger than I do in my entire body. You want this, don't you?"

"Of course I do. It's just not that simple."

"I know. You've told me about your fears of judgment and not standing up to what others think you should. I get it. But you have to overcome those fears in order to do something worth doing."

"I know!" Quinn snapped, pulling away from the brunette. "You telling me things I already know doesn't exactly help. It only makes me feel stupid for thinking them anyway." As soon as Quinn saw the hurt in Adrianne's eyes her heart broke. "Adrianne... I'm sorry."

She shrugged and returned to her place on the bed, looking through more photos.

Quinn ran her hands over her face and willed herself not to cry under the load of her frustrations and regrets. Adrianne had only ever wanted to help her. She wanted Quinn to be happy, to do the things she had always dreamed of. Quinn knew she would never do them herself, but still hated being pushed. "Adrianne," She called pushing the pictures out of the way and climbing on the bed with her girlfriend. "I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that. I just..."

"I get it." Adrianne stated calmly. "You have spent your whole life being told what was required of you. Now that you are out from under your parent's expectations, you are thrust into a world where you are unsure, fearing that you aren't living up to expectations placed on you by yourself or those silently placed upon you by those whose opinions matter in the professional field. I get it."

"Do you realize you are very condescending when you talk like that?"

"Perhaps it's because I'm trying to tell you that other people's expectations don't mean as much as you are making them appear to be." The pair feel into an awkward silence as Quinn fell back to lay on the bed and stare at the ceiling. Adrianne was the one kicking herself this time. She just wanted to open Quinn's eyes to see that things weren't nearly as complicated as she was making them. She just also had to remind herself that most people hadn't been through the same things the blonde had. Quinn required patience, and Adrianne wasn't patient. "I'm sorry." She stated, rolling over and resting her head on the blonde's shoulder.

"What are you sorry for? I thought I was suppose to be the sorry one."

"You are. But you're sorry for yelling at me when I was only trying to help. I'm sorry for talking down to you when you were only trying to explain yourself."

"Oh. Well that makes sense." Quinn teased as Adrianne wrapped her arm around her mid section, providing that comfort that Quinn loved so much. Despite the blonde's restrictive upbringing, she found that she enjoyed physical contact. All those years spent keeping boys away from her helped blind her to that fact too. But Adrianne was a fairly physical person, allowing Quinn to realize just what it was that she was wanting. "So... how are you going to make it up to me?"

Adrianne lifted her head with an arched eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

"You're sorry for making me feel bad. So... how are you going to make it up to me?" The blonde was beaming now.

"What are you wanting exactly?"

"Be my model."

"No." Adrianne stated firmly and tried to climb out of bed.

"Adrianne, come on." Quinn pleaded, wrapping her arms around the brunette's waist and wrestling her giggling form back down. "You are gorgeous, sexy, confident... so why not?"

"Because you're too demanding to work for." She argued back, fighting to free herself from her lover's grasp.

"I am not. I just know what I want. You work for me already anyway."

"Yes, but that comes with the understanding that you don't pay me therefor I am doing it out of the kindness of my heart."

Quinn laughed loudly as she managed to turn Adrianne over on her back, the crinkling of the photos under her muffling her laughter. The blonde then straddled her hips. "You only did it to get in my pants." The brunette shrugged, unable to argue the point. "So... be my model. Be my model and I will forgive you for talking down to me."

"And what do I get for you yelling at me?" Quinn smiled slyly and slowly lowered her head to Adrianne's but the brunette turned her head away at the last second, dodging her kiss. "I get that anyway. I want something else." The blonde scoffed as she sat up from her denial. "I want you to come with me tonight."

Quinn's whine filled the bedroom.

"Hey. I'll be your model if you come with me. The cause needs support anyway. You're a working woman. You should be right there with me in the fight for gender equality in the workforce."

"You don't even work though."

"Only because you don't pay me."

"I don't pay you in cash." Quinn corrected her.

Adrianne arched an eyebrow. "I'm not even going to say what that would technically make you. But that is my offer. If you are truly sorry for yelling at me, and want me to be your model, then you have to come with me tonight. Be our photographer. They have a website and I'm sure they would love some photos to put on it. You could add that to your resume and start broadening it a bit... Please, Baby."

Quinn looked down at the pouting brunette who's bottom lip as stuck out as far as she could manage. "Don't do that."

"Don't do what?" The older woman asked with a knowing smile before trying to pout again through her light laughter.

"If you stop that, and be my model... then I will go tonight to prove to you that I am sorry."

The brunette clapped her hands frantically. "Yay! Quinn caved on something."

"It's a rarity, so enjoy it." She stated, leaving the bed to go get dressed.

~/~/~/~

The night had been a victory for Adrianne but a personal disaster for Quinn. She had tried to distract herself by taking pictures like Adrianne had suggested, getting in contact with the heads of the rally, but when she stopped to listen to her girlfriend speak... her world stopped. Adrianne was confident, eloquent, factual. She worked over the audience and motivated them with her commitment in her beliefs. Quinn would have been proud if the woman hadn't been such a reminder of Quinn's past.

"It was exhilarating, Quinn. To be up there and know that every person in attendance was focused on what I was saying and the message. It was inspiring. I think I might do another."

The blonde responded in minimal grunts of agreement. She was happy for Adrianne, but her mind was elsewhere.

"I mean, did you hear some of those stories the other women told. This is why I want to work with the ACLU. You hear about all of these wrongs that happen everyday, but no one ever does anything about them. They just say that it's too bad or not right, but never try to fix it. Do you know what the ACLU motto is?"

"No, I don't." She answered absently as she pulled on her night shirt and Adrianne emerged from the bathroom. Because freedom can't protect itself. It takes others to stand up for it and I want to be one of those pointing a spotlight on the injustice and saying that it isn't right."

Every time Quinn heard the name ACLU, it wasn't Adrianne's voice, but the one from her past. Her mind raced through her memories, hearing every time the brunette ghost had ever said it. She could still see the conviction in those big brown eyes, the seriousness on her face, the determination in her voice.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Quinn jumped as Adrianne touched her shoulder. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just... lost in thought."

"Yeah?" The brunette asked, wrapping her arms around Quinn's waist from behind.

The blonde smiled nervously. "Yeah. But I was also listening to you. I was just thinking of how into this you are."

"Are you making fun of me for it?" Adrianne asked playfully as she nuzzled into the blonde's neck, knowing she would never tease her for something like this.

Quinn reclined back against her girlfriend and melted into the light kisses she was placing on her neck. "No. I'm not making fun of you. I think it's great."

"Do you?"

"I do." She answered absently as more of her attention was drawn to the warm lips. They were soft and full, sending chills over her skin with each touch. She wondered if every woman's lips would have that effect on her, or if was just the brunette's... _this_ brunette.

"What else are you thinking about?" Adrianne asked with a smile pressed against Quinn's skin as her thumb made small circles on the blonde's stomach.

_Rachel._ Quinn's eyes opened wide and she lifted her head back up. "Just that I'm actually a little tired already tonight." She answered quickly. Adrianne pulled away, understanding. It was a long day.

"So lets go to bed then. We can have our first official night in 'our' room." She stated with a beaming smile as she moved to her side of the bed. Quinn couldn't help but feel a little strange getting into her side and pulling the covers over her. She didn't feel like it was their room jointly, but at the same time, hearing it said like that... Quinn's mind raced to what her father would think seeing his little girl crawling into bed with another woman and being so comfortable with it, regardless if they were just going to sleep or doing something more. "Have you decided when I have to model for you?"

Quinn tried to smile at the thought as the brunette turned the light off and then spooned the blonde, pulling her close for comfort. "I don't know yet. Probably when you least expect it. I'll keep you on your toes." Adrianne 'hmmed' in her ear, indicating that she was tired as well. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, but I will take a play out of your book and say whether or not I answer it is still up in the air."

"Nice. Really. But why are you so against modeling for me?"

Adrianne shifted a little and Quinn knew her well enough to understand that she was actually debating whether or not to answer that. "I don't like being seen for my looks."

"That's... a little difficult. See as when someone looks at you... they sort of see you."

"You know what I mean. And you _have_ to know what I mean."

Quinn did but she was more interested in what Adrianne was saying. "Why do I _have_ to know it exactly?"

"Because you're beautiful too. Have you ever been put in the situation where you could have something you wanted only because of your looks?"

_Yes. All the time in high school. _"Okay. So, you wont model for me because you don't want to have your picture taken simply because you're attractive?"

"I know that sounds stupid."

Quinn stared out into the dark room a head of her and thought about it. "Not really. I mean, you're all about equality and getting something whether it be a job or something else based primarily upon your looks goes against that. However... photography is all about what you see, whether it be something that falls under the typical definition of attractive or not. But I didn't ask you to be my model just because you're beautiful."

"That's what you said though."

"No. That was in reference as to why you were opposed. I was simply stating that you shouldn't have any insecurities because you are beautiful."

"Oh. Then why do you want me to model for you?"

Quinn smiled. "For several reasons actually. The first being I didn't want you to get jealous if I was walking around asking other women if they would join me for an evening where I get to look at them all the time." Adrianne gave her a quick squeeze of jealousy. "Exactly. Secondly, you do have the look I am looking for. But I mean your eyes mostly. I want to do some black and white photos, but leave your eyes with color."

"And is there a third stipulation?"

"There is." Quinn teased.

"And that would be?"

"Because I would get to spend time with you that's not here or actually working to someone else's schedule."

"You just made that one up, didn't you?" Adrianne asked with a light laugh in her voice.

"Whether I did or not doesn't matter. It's true."

The brunette huffed a light laugh, sleep already draining her energy. "You're sweet. I guess that's one reason why I think I'm starting to fall in love with you." Quinn didn't respond and thankfully she didn't need to, as Adrianne feel asleep.

~/~/~/~

"Ma, I know."

Quinn smiled as she emerged from the bedroom to see Adrianne struggling to fix breakfast while talking with her mother on the phone. Adrianne had recently admitted to having a girlfriend living with her and her mother was constantly going over the twenty questions with her. While Quinn admired the care the woman had for her daughter, when Adrianne struggled to provide some of the answers to questions she should have already been granted the answers to, Quinn felt guilty.

"You told Dad?" Adrianne stood up straight. "Why did you tell Dad? When did you tell Dad?... That way I can ignore his phone calls... Don't give the that whole lecture about him being my father and is just worried... Because you've told it to me a thousand times already. I have it memorized by now."

The blonde chuckled as she leaned against the doorway and watched as Adrianne dramatically bounced her head against the cupboards. "Don't do that. You might hurt the paint."

Adrianne glared coldly at her and Quinn just smiled. "No, Ma... I know, Ma... Ma! I know."

"She must be where you get your persistence from."

The brunette grabbed the hose from the sink and threatened to turn it on, but Quinn threw up her hands in surrender. "I'm listening to you. I just had a distraction... Yes it was 'her'... No, you can't talk to her." Quinn straightened up, suddenly terrified. "Because she's not the type of person who you meet over the phone. She's my girlfriend. You meet her in person... Whenever I can talk her into it. Your pestering phone calls aren't helping the argument by the way... Alright. Love you too. Bye."

"Do I even want to ask?" Quinn asked cautiously.

"She wants to meet you."

"We've only been dating for-"

"Four months?" The blonde pulled her head back, surprised with the answer. She hadn't realized it had been that long. "She's protective and more curious because I didn't tell them sooner."

"Why didn't you tell them sooner?" Quinn asked as she removed the nozzle from Adrianne's hand and placed it in it's spot, just in case.

"Honestly? I didn't want them to drive you away. They can be a bit... much. I mean, I told you about my dad and how he refuses to accept my sexuality, so clearly he isn't all that welcoming of my girlfriends into our family. And my mother, she means well but can be very direct. You just weren't ready for that at the time."

"But you think I am now?" She asked, genuinely curious in the older woman's answer.

"Yes." Quinn hopped up on the counter near the stove so Adrianne could finish cooking her breakfast and still talk. "You've actually come a long way. You're no longer a baby gay. You're a big girl gay."

"Cute..." The blonde remark disapprovingly.

"I'm being serious though." Adrianne stated, pulling the pan off of the hot burner and turning her attention to Quinn. "But it's really up to you if you are ready or not to meet them. I know how you are with parents in general and the fact that mine are very Catholic and my father isn't supportive... I would understand if you didn't."

The blonde thought about it as she bounced her bare feet against the bottom cabinets. She wasn't ready to meet Adrianne's family but she didn't want to completely turn down the offer either. "I wanted to talk to you about this summer. Your plans and everything."

Adrianne hesitated, not expecting the sudden change of topics. "Okay. Well, I don't really have any plans. I mean, I know you graduate but I still have another year to go. I've kind of been waiting for you to bring up the discussion of how you want to handle this summer since you are free to leave."

Quinn nodded. "I maybe free to leave from school, but I have some other things to take into consideration. But that's jumping ahead of ourselves. I want to talk about this summer. Maybe we could head to Chicago at the beginning of summer. Travel a bit afterward. I would like to maybe put some outdoors photography in this mysterious portfolio you are working on. I should be ready to meet them by then. I can learn everything I need to know about them in that time so when we show up, I can charm their pants off."

"You sound confident about that." Adrianne teased as she walked over, receiving a chaste kiss from the blonde's lips.

"I am. I mean, they can't be any worse than my parents. I was raised Catholic so I have that working for me. And your father can't be any more intimidating than mine."

The brunette just smiled, holding back the laughter in her throat. "I hope your confidence is as deep as you are making it seem."

"Yeah, it's totally not." Quinn confessed, dropping her eyes. "But I know that me meeting your parents is important to you..." Adrianne nodded her head, returning to the preparation of breakfast. "So I want to do it for you. As long as you don't get tired of me and kick me out before then that is."

"You mean get tired of the woman who I work for but doesn't pay me and that never cooks me dinner? Never."

"Hey. I made you lunch yesterday." Adrianne arched an eyebrow and glanced at her girlfriend over her shoulder. "Okay, so it was just a sandwich, but it was the thought that should count."

The brunette giggled. "You're cute, you know that? I think I might keep you around after all."

"Good to know. Especially since you still owe me a modeling session."


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Hate to do this to you again but the updating schedule is going to be a little off for a while. I am getting ready to move and need to pack/go on interviews/work/everything else. I will still be updating, it just may not be every other night or even on a specific night. I like keeping the writing schedule because it's nice to know what to expect as a reader and I'm the type of person that needs motivation or deadlines sometimes. So... for the next probably three weeks, I will be updating sporadically, but I will be updating. **

**Now that I've filled you in on that, I think it will actually work a bit with how this story is going to change. It's been going by with weekly jumps between chapters (or so). But after this chapter, there are going to be larger jumps. It's becoming more like little glimpses into their relationship now that we have seen how they got together. I want to show you the important moments that lead to the breakup but also the developments that got them to where they were at the time (meeting Adrianne's parents, Adrianne learning exactly what Rachel is to Quinn, how Quinn actually got started, when Adrianne gave up school, how they got to New York). Those are the things that are going to be covered.**

**My other fic is wrapping up. It will be done by the end of next week more than likely. That means all of my time will go to this one. After that, I will start working on the sequel to BWYDT. If there are other things that I didn't mention above that you would like to see in this story (when Adrianne threw the book at Quinn, etc...) Let me know and I will add them in there. Thank you all for reading and reviewing. Let me know what you would like to see before this is over. And enjoy!**

**Also, I was a slacker again. No editing due to caffeine withdrawal and a monster head ache.**

**~/~/~/~**

"Adrianne. Adrianne." Quinn turned on the bedroom light and scowled at the waking brunette.

"What is wrong?"

"You got the wrong kind."

"I got the what?" Adrianne blocked the blinding light with her hand as she stared at her girlfriend hovering over her next to the bed with an ice cream container in hand. "It's one thirty in the morning and you're waking me up to tell me that I bought you the wrong damn ice cream? And it's what you asked for. The vanilla with chocolate and peanut butter swirled in it."

"No." Quinn stated forcefully, shifting her weight onto one foot. "I wanted the bunny tracks. They have little chocolate and peanut butter bunnies in them. The swirls are caramel and chocolate. Not peanut butter and chocolate. I need the bunny tracks."

Adrianne dropped her hand down on her stomach and stared at the blonde in pure disbelief. "You have lost your mind, haven't you?" Quinn scoffed and stormed out of the bedroom. The brunette rolled her eyes and growled in frustration before dramatically throwing the covers off of her and rolling out of bed to follow. "Quinn..." She called after her. She found the blonde in the kitchen melting the ice cream in the running hot water of the sink. "Quinn, what are you doing. It's perfectly good ice- Whoa."

Adrianne abandoned her arms around the blonde's waist as Quinn turned around, glaring and pointing the spoon in the retreating brunette's face. "I told you that I have these cravings still."

"You did." The older woman tried to calm her, cautiously taking the spoon from her hand and hiding it behind her back. She had thought it would be funny to hide the blonde's carton of ice cream from her just shortly after they had first moved in, burying it in that back of the freeze, but quickly found out that was a horrible, horrible idea. "And I'm sorry I bought the wrong kind. But can you calm down for like, two seconds so I no longer feel the need to lock myself in the bathroom for my own safety." Suddenly Quinn burst into tears and dropped her forehead on Adrianne's shoulder. "Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Whatever I did, I am unbelievably sorry."

The brunette was confused and scared but attempted to comfort the unusually emotional woman in her arms, rubbing her hand over her back. The fear shifted to concentration as she bit back laughter while Quinn rambled on in an unintelligible garbled speech as she cried. Adrianne raise her eyes to the ceiling and bit down on her bottom lip trying so hard not to shake as she laughed silently. Once she got control of herself she shushed the blonde enough that she could stand up straight and maybe repeat something Adrianne could understand.

"Let's try this again, Babe. What's wrong?"

The blonde sniffed and wiped away her tears, knowing just how stupid she looked at the moment. "I'm sorry. It's not about the ice cream. I mean, it is because I really need my bunnies but it's not just about the bunnies."

Adrianne's serious face faltered again but she recovered quickly. "Okay, well... then what is the real problem."

"I miss her."

"You miss who?"

Quinn lunged forward, needing her lover's comforting embrace again. "I miss my baby."

All humor left the brunette at that moment. This was serious. She cradled her girlfriend's head and rocked gently back and forth. "It's okay, Baby. Shhh. It's okay. Just let it out and talk to me when you can. I've got you." They stood there like that for another five minutes before the blonde's sobs quieted and Quinn stood up straight, brushing her hair back out of her face.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Adrianne corrected her quickly. "Don't you ever be sorry for something like that. Will you talk to me?"

"God, I feel so stupid." The blonde stated as she tried walking away but Adrianne caught her with a gentle arm around her waist.

"You're not stupid. Talk to me, please."

Quinn wanted to, but she couldn't. Those walls were still firmly in place and no amount of pleading was going to knock them down. She wanted to tell her girlfriend that every time she had these lingering cravings from her pregnancy that it brought back so many emotions. Regret. Guilt. Pain. Anger. Depression. Resentment. Fear. But she just didn't have the strength to get into it all, knowing that Adrianne would push for every detail, always expecting there to be more. "I just miss her. That's all. I know she was never really mine, but I miss her."

"Quinn, she was yours for nine months."

"Eight."

The brunette rolled her eyes at herself for forgetting that fact. "You know what I mean. She's part of you. You're allowed to miss her."

"I shouldn't be allowed to." The blonde mumbled, pulling away. She saw the flooded tub of ice cream in the sink and had another wave of embarrassment wash over her. "I need to go to bed."

Adrianne watched helplessly as Quinn abandoned her in the kitchen. She didn't know how to help this time, or if she even should. She had no experience with being pregnant let alone giving one up for adoption. She could imagine the emotions that were running through and over the blonde but just couldn't seem to grasp anything she could do to possibly make her feel better. So slowly she returned to the bedroom, finding Quinn snuggled under the blankets with silent tears still dampening the sheets. Adrianne's heart broke. She was a protector, but what could she do to protect Quinn from her own memories? The only thing that came to her was not enough in her mind, but she did it anyway. She climbed into bed and spooned the crying woman in her arms, trying to wrap her in enough security that she knew Adrianne was there for her, that Adrianne was feeling for her but understood that there was nothing she could really do for Quinn.

And Quinn did understand that. The fact that the brunette stayed up with her, running light circles over her forearm with her thumb proved it all to her. Adrianne wasn't running away, but rather looking for a way closer.

"I love you, Quinn."

Quinn wasn't ready for that. Adrianne had made passing statements about the strength of her emotions for the blonde before, but nothing this direct. So instead of replying, she simply rolled over, gently nudging Adrianne to lay on her back and snuggled up to her. Quinn cared for Adrianne and maybe it was love, but right now, trying to figure it out would just be too much for her mind and heart to work through. It would have to wait for another day.

~/~/~/~

When Quinn woke up, she was still laying against Adrianne. She tilted her head up slightly and squinted her eyes to block some of the morning sunlight when she saw the brunette smiling at her. Quinn began to wonder if she had even slept. She remembered falling asleep with her girlfriend gently running her fingers through her hair slowly and here she woke up to the same thing.

"Good morning."

The blonde smiled softly and laid her head back down into it's original spot. "Good morning." Her voice was cracking and raw from the crying she had down so she cleared it before continuing. "Did you sleep at all or did I keep you up all night?"

"I slept a little, but it was more that I kept myself up."

"Thinking about what?"

Quinn could feel the light vibrations of Adrianne's silent laugh. "Who said it was thinking that kept me awake?"

"Because you can't experience a freakout like I had without having it come back up in your thoughts as soon as the opportunity presents itself."

Adrianne pouted her bottom lip, impressed with the blonde's logic. "So perhaps I was thinking. However, it was more along the lines of the closest grocery story that carries the ice cream with the bunnies in it." The blonde laughed lightly, still too tired to do it properly.

"I'm sorry for last night."

The brunette's hand stopped in her hair and her tone grew more serious. "Quinn, I told you that you have nothing to be sorry for. I understand what happened. While I may not be able to understand exactly how you felt, I am able to understand how things could have moved you to act like you did."

Quinn shifted a little in place. This was new to her as well. Expressing emotions, especially ones of pain, anger, and regrets, were forbidden in the Fabray house hold. It was a sign of weakness that was not allowed to be justified. Yet here with Adrianne, it was not only allowed, but expected to some extent. It amazed her how she could feel more welcomed and at home with someone she had only know for a few months than she did with her own family. "At least next time I'll try not to threaten you with a spoon."

"You gave it up quick enough. I figured once you relinquished your weapon, the threat was over." The blonde covered her face as she smiled through her blush. "I can't see it but I know it's there. And I am glad to know it."

"And what is 'it' that you are referring to?" Quinn asked, arching an eyebrow as she drew delicate shapes on her lover's cloth covered stomach.

"Your smile."

Quinn paused her motions and smiled larger. With the sudden 'worry free' feeling she had sweep over her, she knew she loved Adrianne. To what extent and what depth, she was still unsure, but she did love her. It was only fair to respond back and not leave the brunette hanging any longer. "I love you." It felt weird to say, but maybe that was because she knew that what she felt for the woman holding her was stronger than the love she had had for Finn or Sam. Then again, they were guys and she was gay. Maybe that was why. Perhaps this felt strange because it was the first time she said it to have it possible mean actual deep, passionate love.

"I love you too." Adrianne beamed. She had scared herself the previous night when the words had slipped out on their own accord. Quinn's reaction to them could be taken in a positive light, but without a verbal acceptance, she was afraid that she had messed up again. She knew Quinn had issues dealing with and accepting strong emotions and hadn't wanted to scare her away when clearly she needed Adrianne the most. "Another thing I was thinking about last night... was where did you want to travel to this summer. Chicago is only one stop in an entire summer and I love my family, but I wouldn't want to stay for more than a few days on your first visit."

"You know... You aren't giving me warm and fuzzy feelings about my decision to go, you know."

"Just remember, they're not as bad as your parents, right?"

"I don't know." Quinn shrugged playfully, returning to her designs on Adrianne's stomach. "I've never met them. You tell me."

"Well, from what you've told me about your parents, I would have to agree that mine are not as bad. Mom is simply protective. Once she gets to know you, she'll love you too."

"And your dad?" He was the one Quinn was more worried about. Not only because he was the vocally opposed type, but because he seemed more similar to Russell than different. "What is he like exactly? What should I expect from him?"

Adrianne hesitated, trying how to best describe her father without panicking the blonde or giving her a false, watered down version. "He is quick and honest enough to say that he doesn't like the fact that I am gay and that it concerns him. However, he wont be as... crass as to call names or openly disrespect either of us. He's a big teddy bear that just has fears about all of the negatives that can come with doing something that the majority of society frowns upon."

"So... he's a big conformist teddy bear?"

The brunette paused. That was actually kind of fitting. "Not so much of a conformist as he is cautious and worrisome. If he is an out cast, that's one thing. He doesn't care. But if it's one of his children or his wife that is being looked down upon, he takes issue with it. But instead of trying to deal with the rest of the world, he tends to try and choose the road of less resistance."

Quinn dropped her brow. "So, he would be supportive if society didn't have it's fair share of homophobes?"

"It's a very real possibility."

"But until that number declines..."

"He is going to always hope that one day, I magically turn straight and fall in love with a penis... I mean a man."

"It's kind of creepy when you say penis."

"It's like speaking a foreign language for me, isn't it?"

Quinn nodded as much as she could from her position. "It really is. That and hearing you say 'I was wrong'."

Adrianne gasped. "I have no problem saying you were wrong about anything."

The blonde lifted her hand palm up before dropping it back down in response to her girlfriend's play on words. "I know. What on Earth was I thinking?" They both giggled for a little bit before settling into a comfortable silence. "Where do you want to travel this summer?"

"You're letting the assistant get to choose?" She teased and Quinn rolled her eyes.

"No. I'm letting my girlfriend choose. How about that?"

"That's a smart move if I do say so myself. But, umm... I take it Ohio is off limits?"

Quinn thought that question didn't even need to be asked, but clearly Adrianne had a reason for bringing it up. "And why would you ever want to go to Ohio?"

Adrianne was a bit more reluctant with her answer. "I don't know. I just thought that even a quick drive through your hometown would be educational and would expand my knowledge of this semi-mysterious woman I am dating. I'm not suggesting we stop and visit anyone. I know you're not ready for that. I just didn't know if you would be completely opposed."

She was. One hundred percent opposed. She had no desire to ever go back to Lima. Not yet at least. "Let's keep at least Lima and it's surrounding areas off the map. I mean, I do enjoy being semi-mysterious." She joked back, trying to eliminate the tension. There had been enough recently with the ice cream drama.

"It does make you kind of sexy."

"Kind of?" Quinn protested as she pushed up on her elbow to look at her girlfriend's face.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Let me rephrase. It does make up part of your vast and undeniable sexiness."

"That sounds better. Especially coming from a woman who got pissed at me when we first started dating because my natural sexiness was proving too much for her."

Adrianne frowned slightly. "I don't like the cockiness. It damages the appeal of the overall package."

"Enough for you to deny the sex appeal?" The blonde asked with an arched eyebrow. Adrianne smiled sheepishly and shook her head. "Then I don't see where the problem is."


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: It's here! It's an update! And on top of that. It has some Rachel in it. I'm working on writing a lot this weekend and hopefully I will get some time to get another one out so I can update Tuesday as well. I'm out of town next week so we shall see how it all works out.**

**With this chapter, we start getting into the 'meat and potatoes' of how their relationship worked, and how it started to fall apart very slowly. For the first time, Adrianne gets a little insight on what Quinn hadn't been telling her and at the same time, getting to see what Quinn is seeing/feeling/thinking about it all.**

**So I'm aiming for at least two updates next week. One Tuesday and probably one Saturday. That is the goal I am setting for myself. I've listened to what you all are wanting to see and I will be putting it in there. I still plan on making this about a twenty-five chapter fic or so. Then I will leave you time to re read BWYDT if you want before I start the sequel. So thank you to everyone who reads and those who review/email/message. I've been struggling at times with this story so it's nice to have that motivation to keep going. I hope you enjoy. (Not edited)**

**~/~/~/~**

It had been a long and exhausting day for Adrianne. She always ended this day being incredibly jealous of Quinn. Somehow the blonde ended up with no classes while Adrianne ended up with four. It really didn't help on top of that that one of her teachers had it out for her. She was apparently too opinionated for the teacher's taste. "So, what are you watching so intently?" Adrianne asked as she crashed down on the bed, resting on hand behind her head on the pillow and bringing the other to tuck under her chin.

"The Grammy's."

The brunette's brow dropped and studied the TV then the side of the blonde's glowing face. "The Grammy's? I thought you hated award shows. What on Earth possessed you to watch the Grammy's?"

Quinn looked down at her and smiled that smile that Adrianne loved to see so much. That genuine smile where her eyes beamed along with her face in pure happiness. And then she looked back at the TV. "Rachel's nominated for one. Well, her show is nominated for one."

"Rachel... as in your friend from high school? As in the one you have the tattoo for?"

Quinn nodded her head, eyes glued to the screen still. "Yeah."

Adrianne would have normally been ecstatic for Quinn seeing the person she had wrapped so much importance into succeed, but there was that look in the blonde's eye that made the warmth drain from her body instead. That look meant something. That was the look that Quinn would look at her with. Adrianne cleared her throat and tried to control the mixture of jealousy and hurt that had suddenly hit her, knocking the smile off of her face. Quinn was just happy for her old classmate. She had given her such a hard time in the past and was now rooting for the singer to prove her wrong. "Has she been on yet?"

The blonde shook her head, biting her bottom lip as she watched, not even blinking in case she could see the diva walking the red carpet in the background. "It's just starting. I don't even know if they would show her on the carpet. You know, like for interviews. I'm not too sure how popular a cast of a Broadway musical would be since it's the soundtrack that's nominated."

"I see." Adrianne remarked, losing her confidence the longer Quinn went without blinking. "Well, maybe you'll see her in the background or something." The blonde only nodded. Adrianne couldn't help but feel a little ignored. She had just spent all day away from her girlfriend and had yet to be asked how her day was. Quinn even knew that she had a test today that she had been dreading. But at the same time the older woman shook her head. Why was she getting so upset about this. This was something important to Quinn and had nothing to do with her. "How did you find out she was nominated?"

The show broke for a commercial and Quinn pivoted on the bed to face her girlfriend. "In class."

"In class?"

She nodded curtly. "There were a few girls behind me in one of my classes running down a list of nominations and her name caught my attention."

Adrianne nodded her head slowly. "But you didn't have classes today."

Quinn's smile faltered for a second. "I heard about it yesterday." Her mouth was suddenly dry. She had just lied to her girlfriend, twice. The woman who had been nothing but supportive and patient and caring with her. Yet she still couldn't bring herself to explain that she had actually searched for Rachel on the internet earlier in the day while Adrianne was at class. Why was she even scared of Adrianne knowing that? Was it a crime to be curious?

"Why didn't you tell me yesterday then? We could have had, like, a Grammy party."

"You had your test today. I didn't want to distract you from your studying to go on and on about how this girl you don't know and that I haven't talked to in years is nominated for an award." Again, a lie. She had been so excited about the chance to see Rachel succeed that she hadn't even thought about Adrianne wondering about these things. "But how did your test go?"

Adrianne's heart thudded heavy in her chest. Quinn could be sneaky about some things, but changing the topic was never her best approach. She had a bad habit of not blinking after her attempt until she knew the other person was going to move on. "It was alright. Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be." She stated, standing up from the bed and pulling her shirt off to change. "What did you want for dinner?"

"Um... I don't know. Surprise me?" She heard Adrianne laugh as she turned around and headed to her dresser.

"As long as it's something you can eat in here? Or on the couch so you can watch the show?"

Quinn thought she caught a mild jealous tone but she wasn't sure. "I can always record it if you were wanting to go somewhere." _Please say no. Say you want to stay home._

"No. I know that this is something special for you. I don't want you to miss it." _I also have a feeling that you wont pay attention to anything I will talk about because you'll be on your phone trying to find out if she won. _"I'll figure something out and even bring it to you if you would like."

Quinn watched as Adrianne pulled on a tee shirt and left the bedroom. She felt like shit and she wasn't entirely sure why. She wasn't doing anything wrong. She was watching a TV show. One that had someone from school on it. Adrianne would have been just as excited if it had been one of her classmates. Yet she still felt compelled to get up and follow her girlfriend. But she didn't. The show came back on and her attention was stolen once more.

And hour later when Adrianne was in the kitchen washing the dishes after they ate their dinner in silence when she heard her girlfriend squeal for the first time ever. With a confused, dropped brow she started making her way to the bedroom only to have Quinn call her name as she reached the door. "She's up. They're up. This is their category." Quinn gushed, nearly bouncing on the bed in excitement as she grabbed Adrianne's arm and pulled her down on the bed next to her.

Conversation had led into Adrianne learning about Rachel in a bit more detail, mainly the fact that she had dreams of being on Broadway and apparently the talent to get her there. Quinn had found out that she had actually achieved her dream of landing a lead role in a play but recoiled at Adrianne's suggestion of maybe stopping in New York during the summer to see it. She said she wasn't ready for that. But after seeing Quinn's reaction this evening, Adrianne was beginning to think that maybe _she_ was the one not ready for the blonde to meet back up with her old classmate.

"Where is she? Which on is she?" The older woman asked, trying to be excited for her girlfriend.

"Um... There! There she is! Oh thank God. She has a stylist."

Adrianne began laughing, old habits apparently die hard in Quinn's case. Once she regained her composure, she looked at where Quinn was pointing. "The brunette?"

"Yeah." The blonde answered quickly and impulsively. She heard the question but it never actually registered in her ears. All of her attention was focused on the nervous yet beaming brunette. Quinn knew she was only on the screen for a few seconds but it seemed to be lasting forever. She had time to notice everything. The light hand Rachel was holding on her stomach, trying to calm her nerves while the flawless, broad, and well rehearsed smile showed no signs of faltering. Even the look in her eyes. It was Rachel but... older. Quinn didn't know why it had caught her so off guard to realize that Rachel did in fact age, but it did. In her mind, Rachel was just that awkward teenager. She didn't remember certain things like if Rachel had always had that nervous habit of tucking her hair behind her ears or if it was new.

"Are you breathing?" Adrianne asked, placing her hand on Quinn's back. The blonde just nodded, unsure if she actually was or not. Her entire body was on edge, waiting for them to open the envelope and announce the winner. Suddenly she realized that Rachel might not win. She couldn't handle knowing that the diva's dream had crumbled in front of her. No, not crumbled. Simply been delayed. Rachel was meant for success, it was just about timing.

_And the winner is..._ Quinn grabbed on to Adrianne's hand and the brunette bit back her laughter. She had never seen the blonde get so into a TV show before. She was going to crack a joke but suddenly her ears were ringing as Quinn let out the loudest scream she had ever heard. Well... that wasn't involving sex that is. "Holy shit." The older woman exclaimed, clapping her free hand over the ear closest to the blonde. "I take it she won."

"She did! She won!" Quinn was bouncing on the bed in excitement, her smile stretching across her face to the point that you could probably count all of her teeth. "Oh my God. She did it. She won a Grammy." The blonde began to settle down as the cast made their way up to the stage to accept the award. Was she going to get to hear Rachel talk? Of course she was! When would Rachel ever back down from the spotlight. "She's crying."

Adrianne smiled at the concern in her girlfriend's voice. "Babe, I'm sure they are tears of joy. You said this was a dream, right? She's happy."

"Right. Happy tears."

Adrianne arched an eyebrow as Quinn watched, waiting for the petite brunette to walk up to the mic. She watched her frown slightly when it didn't happen. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Just... it's weird to not see her tackle someone to get to a microphone. I guess I was just kind of expecting it."

"People change you know. You have." Quinn didn't like that remark. She hoped Rachel hadn't changed too much. She was perfect the way she was. "Well, maybe this would be a good time for you to... send her a card or something. Congratulate her." Adrianne suggested, still not sure if she would push the two of them meeting just yet. Tonight had left her with a funny taste in her mouth. She could understand Quinn being happy, but this... this was something a little different.

"I don't know. I don't... I don't want to be one of those people who seem to get in touch with people from their past only because they have finally made it."

"That's what you explain in the letter. Tell her about how she's helped you. Tell her about your tattoos."

"Hell no." Quinn stated, jumping off the bed and staring at her girlfriend as if she had lost her mind. "Are you serious? You can't just take two people with our pasts and then throw in a letter that says you meant so much to me that I have tattoos on my body for you... to remind me of you. That's like... creepy."

"So... you think that you are creepy for having those tattoos? Because I thought they were actually kind of flattering. When they are explained that is." Adrianne stated more plainly. "And that would also be included in this letter that I am suggesting."

Quinn thought about it but shook her head. "No. This is her celebration time. She doesn't need to be reminded of the past."

"Not even a congratulations?"

Quinn shook her head and frowned a little. "She deserves more than that from me and I just am not in the place to give it to her yet." The blonde suddenly saw how her girlfriend was looking, that little bit of abandonment. She had been talking about this girl... _woman_ from her past that meat so much to her to her girlfriend without even considering Adrianne's feelings on it. She bit her bottom lip and knelt on the foot of the bed, taking her lover's hands in hers. "I mean, you've opened me up so much. You've let me be me for the first time in my life. But to her... I'm still the cheerleader. It would take more than just a letter for her to see me any differently."

Adrianne smiled softly, actually blushing at Quinn's list of her accomplishments. She was glad that she had been able to help Quinn so much. She had always wanted to be there for her, and to know she had been was amazing. "Yeah, well... maybe with some time."

"Lots of time." Quinn smiled and pecked her lips.

~/~/~/~

"You look uncomfortable."

Adrianne straightened her head. "I am uncomfortable. It's awkward to have all this attention on me."

"It's just me." Quinn stated as he pulled the camera down from her face and looked at her girlfriend. "And I thought you thrived off the attention."

The brunette dropped her brow. "I'm going to try not to be offended by that statement. I am not an attention whore. But I enjoy it when the attention is usually coming because of what I am saying. Otherwise I just feel uncomfortable having all eyes on me."

The blonde laughed lightly and lifted her camera back up. "They why do you dress the way you do?"

"The way I do?"

"Yeah. The tight jeans, short shorts, low cut tops, blouses that cling to your body when you move. You flaunt yourself. So how can you say that having all eyes on you makes you feel uncomfortable when you do something to draw them to you." She saw through her viewfinder that Adrianne wasn't at all impressed with her and lowered her camera again. "I understand that you should have the right to wear what you like. However, doing so requires the understanding that you will receive a reaction. It's the laws of physics even. Everything you do will have a reaction. You dress to show how sexy you are, people are going to take notice."

"And you are saying that I don't have a right to react to their reaction?"

Quinn paused with the noted gap in her logic. "I love your mind, woman. I don't think I've ever had someone challenge me as much as you do. That's super sexy."

Adrianne smiled with a light blush. "And my reaction to that reaction is much more to my liking."

"Good." Quinn stated, lifting her camera back up and snapping a few pictures. It was a simple set up, but that was what she had wanted. She had turned the spare bedroom into a makeshift studio, hanging up black sheets against a wall for a backdrop. What was probably contributing the most to Adrianne's comfort issues was the fact that she herself was wrapped in just a white sheet and sitting on a simple stool in the middle of an empty room. The woman may have been a partial nudist at times, but when it came to having a camera in Quinn's hand, Adrianne had always shied away. "So... why are you so uncomfortable with attention being drawn to you because of how you look?"

Adrianne dropped her chin and Quinn snapped a picture, catching some vulnerability in her eyes. "I don't mind the attention, but more of how much and where it is coming from sometimes. Other times, I just..."

"Just what?" Adrianne looked right at her and she snapped another picture. She knew right away that was a keeper. The look in Adrianne's eyes spoke volumes. It was real, direct, and powerful. She was scared.

"I didn't always look like this." She stated softly, feeling a little self-centered as she did. She felt beautiful and always had people telling her she was, but at the same time... to actually say it herself, just didn't seem right. "In high school I was really awkward. I mean, I told you I wasn't the popular one that you assumed I was. I was more along the freak line."

Quinn smiled warmly as she dropped the camera from her face. For some reason, hearing that Adrianne was a dork was endearing. "But you aren't anymore though."

"But I still feel like one sometimes. Have you ever felt like you lived under a microscope just waiting for someone to pick out a flaw?" All the time, Quinn thought as she nodded. "I still get like that. I still feel that if someone looks close enough, they're going to see that awkward, semi-pudgy kid from my childhood. I guess that insecurity hasn't completely left me yet."

Quinn smiled lightly and took a few steps closer, leaning down and kissing her gently. "You are beautiful."

The older woman blushed a little and couldn't bring herself to look her girlfriend in the eyes. "Thank you. Just sometimes I don't always feel it. But it's a double edge knife because when I do have people telling me that I'm beautiful, I get offended that that is all they can see. It's back and forth, back and forth."

Quinn's heart melted as she backed up to take a few more pictures. Adrianne had always been so confident in her eyes, but here she was voicing an insecurity. Quinn wanted to wrap her in her arms and fight it away with her, wanting to show her somehow that her fears were ridiculous. Instead she lifted her camera and waited. The brunette took in a deep breath and let it out quickly, trying to calm her nerves before she looked at the lense. "I love you."

Quinn snapped a picture when Adrianne appeared completely shocked by her confession and then another when she smiled shyly.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Alright. I'm not feeling all that great again today and I was a little mean and left this chapter off on a cliffhanger... kind of. But I didn't want to start writing the next scene knowing that I wouldn't give it all the detail it needed. So I'm holding that update off until Saturday. If all goes according to plan and work gives me some time to write, it should be a long up date.**

**I currently have a major head ache so I've only given this chapter a once over and not with much concentration, so sorry for any typos. Hopefully there aren't any more than ususal.**

**Thank you for everyone who is reading. Thank you so very, very, very much for those of you who take the time to review. Your words are my motivation to keep going, especially when I'm not feeling 100%. But I hope you enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

"I love them. You did great." Quinn stated as she clicked through the photos she had taken with the sheet clad brunette standing over her shoulder.

"You were the one taking the pictures. I think the credit goes to you."

"Yet I would have no pictures without you." She argued back as she turned to face her girlfriend who still had that look of self-doubt in her eyes. Quinn hated seeing that look. It was breaking her heart. "Do you trust me?"

Adrianne pulled her head back at the unexpected question and stood up, maintaining a studying gaze of the seated blonde. "What kind of a question is that?"

"One you haven't answered yet. Do you trust me?"

Adrianne paused again, unable to figure out where the question was leading. "Of course." She answered in a light voice. Quinn stood up, grabbing her camera in one hand and Adrianne with the other. She led them to their bedroom and set down the camera before giving her full attention to the confused brunette.

"You." She began, looking Adrianne right in the eye. "Are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Now it's time for you to see it too. But I need you to trust me."

"I do trust you." Her tone was firm, yet cautious. She couldn't find any humor in the younger woman's face and knew she was being serious. It actually calmed any of the lingering worries she had about where this was leading.

Still holding Adrianne's eyes with hers, Quinn raised her hands to the hooked fabric keeping the sheet held around the brunette just under her arms and slowly began to undo it. Once it released, Quinn slowly pulled it away from Adrianne, balled it up and threw it across the room. She met the brunette's eyes once more before hooking her index fingers in the waistband of her panties and slowly dragging them down her legs until she stepped out of them. Adrianne gave her questioning gaze when the blonde motioned for her to lay on the bed.

With persistence and gentle guidance, Quinn moved her in place. She laid sideways with her head on the pillow. Her top arm was drawn across her body to cover her chest with her palm placed on the pillow in front of her face, holding the cushion back from her eyes, while her other was stretched up to rest on her hip. Her top leg was also positioned to lean forward and cover her, her knee lightly brushing the mattress. Quinn took an extra second to brush her hair in place, providing her with a warm smile before she moved off of the bed and grabbed her camera.

She saw Adrianne tense and met her emerald eyes. "Trust me." The brunette took in a few deep breaths and nodded slightly. Quinn lifted the camera to her face and began taking pictures, moving around for various angles and loving how Adrianne's eyes remained fixed on her. Normally she would have looked anywhere else since the camera was the source of her anxiety, but now it what the person holding the camera that was the source of her comfort. Once she had gotten the pictures she was looking for, Quinn set the camera down and knelt on the bed, leaning over and lightly kissing Adrianne's lips. "Thank you."

"I'll tell you what," The brunette began as she left the bed to get dressed. "You have a way about you because I use to swear that I would never let someone photograph or video tape me naked."

"You were covered though." Quinn tried to assure her.

"Yet I was still very naked." The blonde only smiled as she leaned against the door frame and waited as her girlfriend pulled a baggy university shirt over her head and turned to join her. "You just have a way of calming people, of making them feel completely comfortable around you."

Quinn smiled as they shared a tender kiss then grabbed the older woman's hand and led her to the computer.

"Oh, Quinn, I don't want to look at those."

"You need to though." The blonde stated, gripping Adrianne's hand tighter and pulling her down onto her lap as she sat down at the desk. "You need to see what I see."

"Quinn-"

"No." She stated forcefully, ending the argument before it even began. She even had to smirk at herself for ending it so quickly as she put the memory card into the computer and pulled up the picture. "See."

Adrianne looked at it. The first thing that popped into her mind was 'who was that'. She didn't even recognize herself. She knew what she looked like, seeing herself in the mirror everyday, but for some reason that picture showed her in a light that she had never seen before.

"That's how I see you. Confident, elegant, sensual, beautiful. That's what you are." Quinn watched as Adrianne studied the picture and then turned away, realizing she was staring at herself even though it seemed like a stranger.

"You're good at this." The brunette stated, pointing to the screen. "Of capturing things that no one else sees. I think that you could have a million people walk by something every day of their life and never see it until you showed them a picture you took of it." The blonde smiled at the compliment. "You know what this means though, right?"

"What?"

"I'm going to be on your ass until you put a portfolio together. You have far too much talent to spend your life doing what you're doing."

"Yeah well..." Quinn trailed off, not wanting to discuss it, having nothing to argue back with.

"Yeah well nothing. Get your shit together. Don't make me do it for you because I will do what it takes and you wont like all that that entails."

~/~/~/~

"Do you have everything packed?" Adrianne asked as she set her last bag down at the foot of her bed. "Quinn? Are you asleep?"

"I would be if you stopped talking." The blonde laying on the bed grumbled.

Adrianne arched an eyebrow. "If you hadn't waited until the last minute to pack, then you wouldn't have me keeping you awake now, double checking everything you are suppose to have done by now. I mean, you make me feel like I'm your mother more than your girlfriend." Quinn didn't respond. Adrianne knew the blonde wasn't done packing and would be running around the apartment in the morning completely stressed out, trying to cram everything in however many bags she could manage. Then the rushed morning would cause her to miss breakfast and coffee, leaving her irritable all day long. She wasn't going to tolerate that. Especially with as long of a car trip as they had ahead of them.

The brunette dropped her hands from her hips and exited the bedroom. She returned shortly after and stood over the now sleeping blonde with a cooking pot and a large metal spoon. With no warning she began banging the two together, filling the room with loud, high pitched tinging sounds and sending the blonde flying out of bed.

"What the fuck is that!"

"That's your wake up call from your mother. She's leaving and your girlfriend is showing up soon. You better get your shit together so she doesn't dump your ass for acting like a five year old and finds herself an actual woman."

Quinn collapsed back on the bed, staring at the ceiling as she allowed her frantically pounding heart to slow. "You couldn't have just shook me awake?"

"You would have fallen back to sleep. Now get up. I'm not packing for both of us." Adrianne stated, leaving the blonde and heading towards the bathroom. School had just ended for the year and they were getting ready to leave for Chicago to meet Adrianne's family. Their 'honeymoon' period of the relationship had also ended. They were now in that phase where every little thing the other did annoyed the hell out of them but not enough to end things. They loved each other and knew they couldn't find this close bond with anyone else. That had to say something.

After one more long sigh Quinn stood up and moved to her dresser, pulling out some clothes to add to the half-full bag sitting on top of it. Adrianne was right. This needed to be done tonight and she needed to stop relying on the older woman for everything. She had spent the years between Lima and Adrianne learning herself, learning her weakness and how to push beyond them. But as soon as the brunette walked into her life, she shut down on the progress. Adrianne had to push her to do anything, especially the things that Quinn needed to do but was too scared to initiate herself. She relied far too much on that push and it only made her resent them that much more.

"Everything from the bathroom is packed." Adrianne stated as she returned to the bedroom and set another bag down on top of the last.

"Thank you." Quinn stated as she zipped up hers as well. "And I'm sorry."

Adrianne bit her lip, keeping her from reminding the blonde that she is always sorry. "It's okay."

Quinn stared at her as she surveyed what was sitting on her dresser, knowing that it wasn't okay. She needed to step it up, take responsibility for herself and pull her weight in this relationship. Slowly she walked over and stood behind her girlfriend who dropped her head forward as Quinn ran her hands up and down her back before wrapping them around her waist. "It's not." She whispered in Adrianne's ear. "I'm just... I'm kind of shutting down from nerves. With meeting your parents and some of your family. It's bringing up a lot of buried emotions for me."

"I can help you with those if you would just let me in a little bit." Adrianne stated turning her head so she could see Quinn out of the corner of her eye. "I love you and I am here for you, but only if you let me be."

The blonde pressed her cheek to the back of her lover's shoulders, wanting so much to explain that was her biggest issue. She was afraid to let her in. Letting people in complicated things. It meant that she needed them or needed to pacify them in some way because they now knew things she wanted to keep hidden from the world. Sharing provided an angle for someone else to take advantage of.

As the silence continued Adrianne turned around, leaning her weight against the dressed and pulling Quinn closer by the hands. "Let me in. Tell me what you need. What you need me to do for you to make this easier. We can cancel if you want."

"No." She answered quickly. She wanted to meet Adrianne's family. She wanted to take that next step. But the thought of what it was actually going to require was what terrified her. "Just be you." She stated meeting Adrianne's eyes and smiling faintly. "Be you and your caring self and you'll know what needs to be done in the moment. I just can't tell you ahead of time. It all kind of depends."

"At least tell me one thing that is making you nervous." Adrianne begged, knowing that Quinn had something specific on her mind. "Is it my mom? My dad? Parents in general?"

"Family in general." The blonde answered without thinking. "I haven't been around one in a while and the last time that I was with mine, as a whole, I was only about eleven. Even then we weren't very... warm? Like you describe your family to be. You descriptions of loud talking, jokes, laughing, and..."

"Italian-ness?"

Quinn laughed lightly. "Yes. That. It's very, very, very different from my family. I'm just not sure how to react or if I will even fit in."

"You will." Adrianne assured her, bouncing her hands in her own. "Just be yourself. I know that sounds so simple but seems so complicated, but be yourself. Talk about the deep things you like-"

"That you don't? I doubt if you don't like it when I talk like that, that your family will."

The brunette hesitated but managed a light smile. "I do like when you talk like that. I just get lost in your thoughts sometimes. I'm a much more direct individual and it is just taking some adjustment."

"Yes. See." Quinn pointed at her before turning around and taking a seat on the side of the bed. "That directness that you were raised with... That would have been the biggest error I could have made growing up. To survive in my family you had to learn to say what you meant but in a way that would be accepted. You had to hide things, not talk openly about them."

"Ah.. Quinn..." Adrianne sighed playfully as she lunged forward, tackling the blonde to the mattress. "The other really, really, really big difference between your family and mine, is that mine understands that not everyone thinks like them. They'll understand that you are coming from a different background and aren't going to hold it against your or treat you like you have a disease or anything. I mean," She paused, moving off of her girlfriend to lay next to her on the bed. "If anything, they are going to see how 'controlled' you have been raised to be and try and draw you out of it. Don't be surprised if they start loading you with alcohol so you loosen up or something."

"So if they are so free, then why is your dad such a conservative... hard ass?"

The brunette smiled and let out a little laugh. "He's not really a hard ass. He's actually a big teddy bear once he's gotten over certain topics for the day. But he is a bit more reserved than the rest of us but that's because he's not Italian. He's french. More 'refined' as he likes to say." Quinn arched an eyebrow. "Yeah, Mom just tells him he can take his 'refined' ass to the couch for the evening if he feels that way."

Quinn couldn't help but to smile. Maybe she would like Adrianne's mother after all. "Promise me one thing though."

"What?"

"Don't leave me that first night."

The brunette chuckled and grabbed Quinn's hand, laying them on the bed between them. "I won't. I promise."

~/~/~/~

Quinn was going to get sick. She could feel it rising in the back of her throat and could taste the acid already in her mouth and they hadn't even stepped out of the car yet. "We're here?" She asked with a shaking voice.

Adrianne smiled lightly as she pulled the car key out of the ignition and studied the side of the blonde's face as she looked out of the passenger's window. "We're here. And you're going to be just fine. Just think of them as normal people. You go up to them, say hi, answer a few questions, and hold regular conversations."

The blonde slowly turned to face her girlfriend with a blank expression. "It is totally not that easy. I appreciate the pep talk but this is your _family_. One that doesn't exactly approve of the fact that you are dating me, a woman."

"No." Adrianne corrected her. "My _father_ is the only one with an issue about that. And don't worry about him. He's-"

"A big teddy bear, right. I remember."

"I was actually going to say controlled by my mother, but he really is a teddy bear. You just have to get past the tough front that he's going to put out."

Quinn just stared at her for a second longer. She wanted to tell her that this was too much. I mean, she knew that it wasn't. They had been dating over six months and it was about time that she met the older woman's family, but she just couldn't find a way to explain why she was so nervous. Adrianne didn't understand that everything she stood for, every way that she acted, and everything that came naturally to her was completely opposite from what came naturally to Quinn. Meeting a group of people like that... she was going to stick out. And not in a good way. She wasn't in the right state of mind for that.

"You're going to be just fine." Adrianne assured her, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Be you and they'll love you as much as I do. So?"

Quinn took in a deep breath, never breaking from Adrianne's gaze, and nodded her head. The only way she was ever going to do this was to force herself. Either that or have Adrianne do it. And that came with an attitude flare up from the blonde, not something Quinn was wanting the older woman's family to see on their first meeting. If turned around, Adrianne would just give Russell and Judy a piece of her mind and leave, thinking nothing of it because they were too uptight and 'wrong' in their ways of thinking. But Quinn didn't have that mentality. She couldn't verbally give someone's parent's the finger and let that be that, stating she is who she is. Take it or leave it. She needed approval. "Okay. I'm ready." Ready to throw up.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I swear, I will be updating more. The final bit of the move will be done this Friday and then I will have lots of time to think, and write, and actually post. Then I can get this fic out of the way and onto the sequel to BWYDT.**

**I'm not letting this one get away from me though. I know there are hundreds of you who read this so as long as you do, I will post. Like I mentioned a while ago, the time jumps are going to start to get bigger and Rachel's appearances are going to start to get more and more involved. I plan on sticking to that.**

**But enough with my rambling. Just know that after this week, updates should start flowing again. I've missed writing but life has just had my brain in a vise lately. So, hang in there and I'll get back to doing this right.**

**Thank you to everyone who reads this and to those who still try to motivate me in this chaos with your reviews. They really do help. Thank you and enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

"Breathe." Adrianne ordered lightly and Quinn nodded her head as she stood next to the car, staring at the front door. The brunette moved to stand in front of her, pulling her attention away. "You're nodding your head but not breathing. Breathe or you're going to pass out."

"I'm breathing." Quinn stated firmly, actually taking a breath this time. Adrianne held her eyes for a second, not liking the tone of voice but left her when she saw the regret in the dropped hazel gaze. Quinn was just on edge.

"You'll be fine. Just relax."

"That's easier said than done."

"I know. You keep telling me that. Which then leads me to say that we can hold off on this to which you will reply-"

"I know. I need to do this, but that doesn't make it any easier." Quinn argued back.

"Then chill with the attitude. If you're you, they'll love you. If you are this... past, fake version of yourself with the glaring and the snapped remarks... not so much." Adrianne had gotten a good dose of how Quinn use to be on their trip to Chicago. She also found out very quickly that Quinn liked having her space. Adrianne loved to talk and be around people, constantly trying to hold Quinn's hand as they drove down the road, but the blonde wasn't having it after awhile. The sweet blonde with the occasional attitude due to nerves or uncertainty had vanished a few hours into the drive. The old stone faced, cold nature blonde emerged. Adrianne hadn't seen that before and wasn't too happy with it herself.

Quinn grabbed her hand as Adrianne began to turn and head for the door, pulling her back to her but still unable to look her in the eyes. "I'm sorry. I know you've heard me say that a lot lately, but I am. I just..."

"I would find it easier to accept it if I knew where all of this was coming from." The brunette stated softly as she held Quinn's hands in hers.

"But that's one of my issues. I can't open up."

"You can." Adrianne assured her. "You have in the past. It's just never taken this much prodding from me."

"That's because family is a touchier subject with me."

"And I've told you that you don't have to worry about them."

"And yet I still do. I can't help it." Both women paused and calmed their nerves. There voices were raising with each delivered statement. "I was never allowed to be myself. Being me always came with consequences. You are asking, no, _telling_ me to do the one thing that I have always been programmed not to do and expecting me to find it easy."

"Then why didn't you just tell me that?" Adrianne asked with a shrug and Quinn went wide-eyed.

"I did. I told you that your family was completely different and I always needed to keep up a front."

The brunette closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Stating your family is completely different, just mean's they are different. And telling me that you had to maintain a front just means that you behaved a certain way while in front of them. Not that you denied being who you are all the time because of it. Therefore being yourself wouldn't be that big of an issue for me to expect from you. I need more information from you sometimes to understand exactly what you are trying to tell me. I don't have a lot of information about your past to go on. All I have is exactly what you tell me."

Quinn closed her eyes tightly as she felt the stress of everything coming down on her. Not just meeting Adrianne's family, but dealing with the thoughts of hers, and trying to go against her natural instincts to give her girlfriend what she was looking for only to be failing miserably in her eyes.

Adrianne dropped the blonde's hands and pulled her into a loose hug, rubbing her back in attempts to comfort her. "I get it now. I get it and I'll help them understand that you just take some time to warm up. They'll understand. I promise you."

"Don't promise something you can't keep."

The brunette leaned down and kissed her cheek gently, holding her close before moving her mouth to her girlfriend's ear. "I'm not. Knowing how scared you are right now, I would never subject you to this if I didn't know everything would be alright. My family's not up tight. The only expectations they have for you, is that you treat me with respect. That's it. They don't care what you look like, where you come from, what you're studying, who your parents where or your family name. They'll be interested in those things, but they aren't set on specifics."

Quinn nodded her head and she leaned in, resting her temple on Adrianne's shoulder. That had actually calmed her nerves greatly. Just knowing that they weren't expecting anything of her. The brunette's protective arm and hand on her back helped with what remained of the nerves. "I treat you with respect, don't I?"

"Do you have to ask?"

"I need to hear you say it." The blonde stated, pulling back to look at the taller woman who hesitated. "I don't, do I?"

"You do." She assured her quickly. "Just lately with you stressing about this visit... you've had your moments. But! Now that I know why, it's completely understandable."

"There's never a reason to disrespect the person you're dating. You're suppose to protect them. Not hurt them."

Adrianne smiled lightly and kissed the blonde tenderly. "I'll let it slide if you will. Chalk it up to growth."

"Growth... right."

"You are growing." The brunette assured her, pulling her a finger hooked in her front pant pocket towards the door. "I mean, when we first met, you were sooooo very straight, am I right? Now you can hardly spend a night without touching me."

"You touch me just as much."

"I know I do. And you like it."

~/~/~/~

Awkward was sitting in silence through dinner when bringing home a boyfriend to the Fabray household, watching and waiting to make sure he wasn't going to say something that crosses a line. But this, tonight, was just uncomfortable. Adrianne carried on a conversation with her parents at the table as if she had spent everyday with them. She was trying to hold the attention of her parents so it wasn't on the silently nodding blonde to spare her from the initial shock she was experiencing but now Quinn just felt silly. She had been in their house for half an hour now and had managed to say 'hi'. Nothing more.

"So, Quinn." Marie, a surprisingly small woman smiled across the table. The blonde arched her eyebrows in an eager response, still unable to get her mouth to move. The woman didn't look as threatening as she was anticipating, being probably the shortest woman she had ever personally met. Quinn just wanted to go over and pick her up but that would have definitely been crossing a line. "How did you get into photography?"

After several awkward seconds of the blonde simply staring at the woman, Quinn dropped her eyes to her plate and furrowed her brow in concentration. "I uh... I uh, took a class and it umm... just... kinda... like, stuck."

Adrianne mashed her lips between her teeth in attempts to hide her smile. Her heart was going out to Quinn but at the same time, she found it adorable that the blonde was so nervous. Thankfully she had warned her mother that she wasn't likely to get an accurate picture of her daughter's latest girlfriend their first night there, so the tiny older woman wasn't going to hold this babbling against her. Quinn just needed to relax and remember that there were no expectations being place on her that she couldn't easily live up to.

"I took a photography class when I was in school." The short woman stated as she set her drink down at the table, dropping her eyes from Quinn's for a second to try and help ease some of those fears. She had honestly never met someone so nervous. Adrianne was a confident person who liked confident women. Marie knew that for a fact. So seeing a woman this nervous next to her smiling daughter was odd to say the least. "I enjoyed it, but it was nothing that made me want to take it up as a career. What was it that stuck with you?"

Quinn knew this answer. She knew it and it was deep and thoughtful and eloquent and would prove that she wasn't some bumbling idiot but she couldn't get her mouth to work properly. Her jaw bobbed for a while until she closed her eyes and braced her elbow on the table, holding her head in her hand as her heart pounded away. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Babe. They know you're just nervous." Adrianne tried to sooth her quietly, but it really only made Quinn feel more ridiculous. She wasn't a baby. She was an adult who should be more than capable of holding a conversation.

Charles, Adrianne's 'teddy bear' of a father, was really a burly looking man who would have matched Finn in height, but probably would have made up more than two of him in width, sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest in response to his daughter's nickname for her girlfriend. Marie shot him a quick glance to knock it off, Quinn was scared enough as it was.

"I um..." The blonde cleared her throat again. "Taking pictures allows me to see things in a new light and... share them." Not nearly as deep as she was going for but it was the most words she had managed to get out without feeling the urge to throw up.

"And she's really good." Adrianne added, pulling her parent's attention back to her and giving Quinn some time to breathe in attempts to calm her burning face. "I have some of her photos on my laptop. I'll have to show you some after dinner."

"That would be lovely." Marie stated in a light tone, giving the flushed woman a warm smile. "I would love to see them. So tell me how you two met?"

"I saved her from wasting her time." The younger brunette stated with a smile as she took another bite of her pasta.

"Oh?"

Quinn met the older woman's eyes and nodded. "From a teacher. I needed help. He wasn't going to." Yep. That was eloquent.

"The man's an ass who will only give someone attention if he thinks he can get into their pants as well." The blonde went wide-eyed. She would have never been able to be so forward with her parents like that. "He has a system down and probably pulls some ass every other night at least."

"He sounds charming." Marie answered back, completely unphased by her daughter's crassness, leaving Quinn more than a little confused. She made a quick glance over to Adrianne's father who sat silently eating his food. He was also clearly accustomed to such conversation at the dinner table.

"Babe," Adrianne called, seeing Quinn lost for words, and placed a supportive hand on the blonde's thigh. Everyone pulled away from the table as Quinn suddenly shot up out of her seat in response to the, in her mind, inappropriate touch. No one moved as they all tried to figure out what had happened, staring at the standing photographer. "Quinn?" Adrianne called again, figuring out quickly what had happened. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's okay." The blonde informed her in the slightest whisper that she could manage as she took her seat and kept her eyes down. She was on the verge of tears she was so embarrassed.

Marie looked at her daughter as did Charles, needing an explanation. "I.." She chuckled. "I touched her leg and she wasn't expecting it."

"Oh." The older woman stated and let it all go after that. "Understandable. If I was sitting at a table and suddenly has something touch my leg, I would do the same."

Quinn sighed as she buried her face in her hands again. They were trying so hard to make her feel comfortable but it only caused her to feel more like a freak. "I'm not normally this... spazzy."

"You're nervous. It's understandable." Marie dismissed her concern quickly. "We were warned of that as well as more than informed of what it is about you that has roped my baby in. So, just breathe, relax, and have another glass of wine."

As Marie filled the blonde's glass for the second time, Quinn looked at Adrianne. "I told you they would try to help you by getting you drunk. She's trying to make you verbally easy."

"Nothing helps calm the nerves like some wine." Marie stated as she filled her own as well, raising it in the air to the blonde.

"Thank you." Quinn stated with a smile, attempting to push her anxieties to the back of her mind. Until that is, she reached for her glass and knocked it over, spilling the red wine all over the generations-old table cloth. "Shit. Shit. Shit. I am so sorry." The blonde stated as she and the other two women attempted to clean up the mess quickly. "Fuck. I ruined it. I am so sorry." Charles just sat back and watched as Marie smiled broadly to herself.

"It's alright, Dear. It's just a table cloth."

"But it has so many memories tied to it."

"And now it has one more." Quinn hesitated and met Marie's eyes. She genuinely wasn't upset. "You should have seen what Charles did to it when he first met my parents." He cleared his throat and looked away, running his hand over the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Where is it? Adrianne, is it over there by you?"

"It is." The younger brunette stated, lifting up her plate to show Quinn a burnt patch. "Dad lit some candles and placed the match down without blowing it out first." Quinn dropped her brow in confusion. Even she would have done that.

"I was nervous." He stated in a deep, booming voice that Quinn felt the vibrations of her her own chest.

"Excuses." Adrianne teased.

~/~/~/~

That had been a turning point in the night. Quinn had finally understood that she wasn't facing inspection where Adrianne's parents were looking for something wrong with her. She had managed to start talking a little bit more but still nothing substantial. Especially if Charles shifted in his seat. She would instantly freeze up. He was the man of the house, the father figure, the authoirty and this was his house. And he didn't like her. On top of all of that, all hell broke loose when Adrianne was telling her mother about Quinn's first Pride Parade and the moving picture she had captured. The blonde didn't exactly know what had happened but suddenly Adrianne and Charles were talking in not so subtle innuendos that quickly escalated to yelling as Marie threw her hands up in the air and sat back, seemingly knowing this was coming.

"I'll be right back." Adrianne stated, leaning over and kissing Quinn's cheek and glaring at her father.

"Where are you going?" She asked in a mild panic of being left alone, the one thing Adrianne promised she wouldn't do.

"I need to finish this conversation with my father in a bit more of a private setting."

Quinn watched as her girlfriend left to the living room with her father and then jumped slightly when his booming voice cut through the room as if he was still sitting right next to her. "Why do you insist upon doing this to yourself?"

"Doing what to myself exactly? Allowing myself to be happy?"

"Adrianne, you're my daughter. I want you to be happy. But I don't think that's possible when you keep putting yourself in the position of disapproval."

"So much for the private setting, don't you think?" Marie asked as she sipped her wine, finally pulling Quinn's eyes away from the doorway.

"Do they do that often?" She nodded.

"I'm sure you know Adrianne by now. When she feels she is right about something, she doesn't give up until everyone feels she is too. That can be a bit much sometimes, but combine that with her father's need to do the same, and this is what you get." She motioned to the door with her finger.

"Because he doesn't approve of he sexuality." Quinn stated with a bit of a nod.

"Not exactly. He wants her to be happy like he says, he just can't see that happening with the path that she is taking. He feels she could be happier if she was to choose a different path. He doesn't care about the how, just the end."

"And she cares more about the how."

"Exactly."

Quinn nodded her head for a few seconds longer before leaning into the table and dropping her voice so it was barely heard over the screaming in the other room. "May I ask you a question?" Marie nodded, giving the blonde her undivided attention. Quinn was still a little on edge but sitting in silence while the other two yelled in the distance was more stressing. "Adrianne said you are Catholic. So am I... or so I was raised. But that fact would actually lead my parents to not accept me. How do you find it so easy to accept Adrianne?"

Marie smiled widely and dropped her eyes to her hands in her lap. "Adrianne is my daughter. My youngest. She was very much a mama's girl growing up as well. I wont lie and lead you to believe that I accepted my daughter's sexuality without pause. At first I was heartbroken. I had set in my mind that I would be having another wedding and more grandbabies from her and that that dream was crushed. But!" She stated, grabbing her wine and taking another sip. "Adrianne was very quick to point out that it was all very much a possibility. She could still get married and have children and plans on doing just that. It just wouldn't be with a man."

Quinn nodded her head and listened more.

"I was raised to believe that marriage is between a man and a woman, that that level of love is between a man and a woman, and anything else just shouldn't be." She paused and rethought what she was going to say. "I'm sure Adrianne has told you that she's always known or has always had a preference for women regardless of her intentions with them."

"That she hates men?" The blonde asked with a smile matched by Marie;s.

"Yes. That she hates men. I had seen her with guys, dating when she was younger. Then I saw her with her first girlfriend. She was a completely different person. I mean, I always thought that she was happy in life. But seeing her where she wanted to be," She shook her head and pursed her lips. "I saw my daughter truly happy for the first time and I was happy for her. I've said my piece and let her make her decisions. Ones which she believes strongly in. I have accepted that she isn't going to change and there is nothing more I can really do about it. Now with that being said, there is _one_ thing I can do. And that is make sure she ends up with someone, male or female, who is going to treat her the way she deserves. I can do what it takes to see her happy."

Quinn bowed her head, feeling the pressure put back on her shoulders.

"Adrianne has told us a lot about you. She's also told us repeatedly that you were going to be incredibly nervous tonight and that she had tried to ease your fears. Clearly that wasn't enough." Quinn wanted to say something, wanted to explain herself but she couldn't. "But if I may, I think it would do you good to know that I prefer her girlfriend to be nervous rather than arrogant. So you've gotten only pluses in my eyes tonight. Maybe we can work on loosening you up some more tomorrow." The blonde shot her head up to meet the smiling woman who held her gaze and reclined in her chair, content with her wine as her husband and daughter continued to yell in the other room.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I know. I know. I'm sorry. A lot of things kept getting in the way of me being able to write, but I finally got it done. (I blame the move... mostly) And I know, it's also an odd day to post. I ended up writing it in pieces so hopefully it doesn't jump around too bad. I'm going to try and keep updating every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday but it might end up getting switched to Monday, Wednesday, Friday. I'll let you know.**

**In this chapter there is more of the family visit. Since they are just meeting Quinn, there aren't those deep emotional talks between her and Marie. She is still hiding pretty much everything about her. This visit was more about observations. The talks and bonding happened in later visits.**

**In upcoming chapters I will be hitting on Quinn's decision to travel and what she is going to do since Adrianne still has one year left in school. With that chapter we will see a lot of Adrianne's emotions and thoughts. We will see how Rachel and Adrianne's fears of her roll in to everything. Adrianne's feelings are going to start to change soon. We are going to get to see how she went from the sweet, supportive girlfriend to the one having to constantly push and be somewhat insecure in regards to Quinn's emotions.**

**Once again, I am so sorry it took me so long to post another chapter. This once a week thing isn't really to my liking either. But I am really hoping now that I only have a few distractions, I will be able to post more often and wrap this one up. So thank you for sticking in there with me. And I hope you enjoy.**

**~/~/~/~**

"I know that you are the baby of the family and that you may be the favorite child, but don't you think it's about time your parents packed up your room?" Quinn asked as she turned in a slow circle in the middle of Adrianne's time capsule of a bedroom while the brunette blushed from the doorway.

"They stated general laziness and the fact that they could always use it as a guest room as their excuses." The blonde arched an eyebrow and Adrianne raised her hands in innocence. "I don't argue with them. I don't mind staying here and I haven't brought anyone home in a while to meet them... I kind of thought they would have changed it by now."

"Oh my God, is this you?" Quinn cooed as she picked up a family photo and Adrianne's rushed to take it from her. "Wait. I want to see it. You were so cute."

"I was not."

"Yes you were. Look that those cheeks. I just want to pinch them."

"So I was chunky."

"I never said anything about being chunky. I just said I thought your cheeks were cute." Quinn argued as she continued to wrestle with Adrianne for the picture as the two fell onto the bed in a fit of giggles.

"And I bet you missed the eyebrows in serious need of plucking as well?"

"I wasn't going to say anything about them."

"Or the acne all over my face."

Quinn suddenly stopped fighting, causing Adrianne to hesitate. The blonde's face was very serious as she looked up to her girlfriend who was now straddling her lap as she laid on her back. "And look at the beautiful woman you managed to turn into." Adrianne didn't know what to say or do in response to that. She just sat there, looking down on her girlfriend as her mind fought to form words. "You are. You know that." Quinn assured her, relinquishing the picture and resting her hands on the brunette's thighs. "You're told it all the time."

"I don't always feel it though." She replied back shyly.

Quinn sat up and surprised Adrianne yet again with a tender kiss, lingering before barely pulling away and waiting for the older woman to open her eyes again before speaking. "Then let me help you."

"Where does this smoothness come from? I mean, not two minutes ago you were fumbling to complete a sentence, and an hour before that you were on edge and nearly biting my head off in the car." The blonde shrugged and diverted her eyes, lightly bouncing her legs under her girlfriend playfully, earning a smile from her. Adrianne loved this playful side when Quinn would show it. The blonde just seemed so natural then. Adrianne leaned forward and wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck and kissed her cheek. "I love you."

"You know what?"

"What?" She asked, pulling her head back to see Quinn's eyes as they turned and met hers.

"I love you too. You know what else?"

"What else?"

Quinn leaned forward into another slow and tender kiss. Dinner had her so high strung that just being with Adrianne in private seemed to have given her a new appreciation for the woman. She wasn't sure how to explain it, but maybe it was that calmness the brunette was always able to provide her when they first got together. That freedom and comfort in who they were and what they had. She just wished she had been able to draw on it during their meal.

When she pulled away she met Adrianne's searching green eyes again with a faint smile. "What else... is that you really are my best friend."

"I love it when you're in these moods." The older woman confess as she returned to her hug, pressing her temple to the blonde's and soaking up the closeness she had been denied during their car trip. "You just seem so at peace and open. I don't have to fight with you for anything. It just comes freely."

"It's because of you." Quinn confessed honestly, running her hands up and down her girlfriend's back. "You make it okay to be me."

"Any chance you'll remember that when you meet my sister and nephews tomorrow?"

The blonde huffed a laugh that faded into a groan as she buried her face into Adrianne's neck, pulling her along as she laid backwards. "I think... it might go smoother tomorrow. I mean, I can do siblings easier."

"Gross." Quinn bucked her legs in playful protest of the twisting of her words. "Oh, do it again." Adrianne begged and smiled as the blonde blushed, unaware of where her legs had connected until then.

"Your parents are down stairs. I'm not having sex with you in their house."

"Why not?"

"Do I really need to answer that question? I mean, besides the obvious, I'm still needing to make up for the horrible first impression I made."

Adrianne sat back up and let a long breath out through her nose as she studied the woman underneath her. "Quinn, my mother likes you."

"Your mother... just has unique tastes."

"That may be, but regardless. She likes you."

Quinn fiddled with her fingers over her chest. "I kind of like her too. She just seems to not get worked up over anything."

"Oh she gets worked up." Adrianne assured her, not wanting to give her any false hope of a zen mother. "You just haven't given her a reason to. You were nervous and she knows it. You didn't yell at me. Didn't hit me. Didn't call me names. Didn't-"

"Have other girlfriend's done those things to you?" The blonde asked with a protective dropped brow.

"Yelling? Yes. Called me a name? Yes. Hit me?... the bitch didn't have the guts."

"I'd never hit you." The blonde confessed quietly.

"I know you wouldn't." Adrianne admitted, planting her hands on each side of Quinn's head and kissing her deeply in gratitude. The blonde's hands instantly lifted to her side, inching the brunette's shirt up slightly so she could get that skin contact she was looking for. "I thought you wouldn't ever think of doing anything while my parents were home."

"I wouldn't." Quinn corrected her between kisses. "Especially since you left your bedroom door open." Adrianne laughed lightly but never halted in her kisses until Quinn broke away. "I couldn't disrespect them by having sex with their daughter while they were down stairs."

"And what if they happened to leave the house for a while?"

Quinn pursed her lips in a playful deliberation. "Then I guess that would provide me with the opportunity to make up for my attitude earlier. I could show my gratitude for your patience and understanding and the fact you didn't just kick my ass out of the car."

If the girls hadn't been so caught up in the resuming of their kissing, they might have heard the soft laugh that Marie had let slip as she stood hidden outside her daughter's bedroom door. Maybe her daughter had been right about this woman. Because the confident and loving photographer she was hearing now, was nothing like the one she had met earlier.

~/~/~/~

Quinn was frozen. Hypnotized may be the better word. She couldn't figure out if it was because of good, yet unexpected, feelings and thoughts or bad. But she sat in a cushioned chair in the Doucette's living room with her eyes glued on her girlfriend as the brunette lay on their couch playing with a baby in her arms. The blonde watched and listened as she made baby noises and widened her eyes and mouth playfully, sending the not quite one year old into a fit of giggles. Adrianne just seemed like such a natural with the baby and Quinn was being hit with all sorts of emotions. She was sad because it reminded her of her daughter, but that surprisingly wasn't the strongest emotion she was feeling.

"You alright over there?"

The blonde snapped out of her daze as Adrianne's sister, Jeannette, walked into the room and took a seat in the chair next to her. She was a tall woman as well but she kept her dark hair cut shorter, baby-proofing according to Adrianne. Jeanette was the eldest of the three Doucette children but Quinn wouldn't have been able to tell. Both sisters seemed years younger than their actual ages. It must be genetics. "Yeah. I just..." Quinn nodded but trailed off as her eyes drifted back to her girlfriend.

"She was born to be a mother." The older woman announced a little loudly before taking a sip of her water. That was another thing that Quinn noticed and then later realized Adrianne had told her all along. No one in the family but Charles knew how to speak softly. Quinn didn't know why she was so concerned with her girlfriend hearing what they were discussing, but she was. "What about you? Do you ever see yourself having kids?"

Quinn turned her head to look at the woman but her mouth only bobbed in response to the question. "Jeanette, don't start with the twenty questions already." Adrianne called out from the sofa. "You just got here."

"And I am simply trying to get to know your latest girlfriend."

"Latest? You make it sound like I'm a serial dater."

Her sister shrugged. "When I was your age I was already married and a baby on the way. So was Mom and so was Anthony... well, he wasn't pregnant but you know what I mean. You just keep dating and dating and dating. We're all just waiting for you to find the right one so Dad can stop saying that you're just looking in the wrong gender." Quinn saw her girlfriend's smile fade slightly. She knew right then that that was what Adrianne was wanting as well. Not just for her father to stop trying to push her, but to settle down herself. "I was just wanting to get to know Quinn to see if you two were on, or at least _near_, the same page." Adrianne knew that. She was just trying to pull the attention away from the blonde, knowing that particular topic was probably something she wasn't really wanting to discuss. "So," Jeannette began again, turning her attention back to Quinn. "_Do_ you ever see yourself having kids?"

She nodded slowly. "I do. As to when... I don't really know."

"Don't wait too long." She urged her. "When you get to be my age, you love the children, but you start losing the energy to keep up with them."

"Do you think you're going to have another?" Adrianne asked, again pulling the pressure off of Quinn. "Go for that little girl that Mom is still waiting for?"

Jeannette shook her head. "Nope. That will be up to you. I love my children, but I think two is all I can handle. What about you, Quinn? Any idea how many you would want?" She shrugged. She hadn't ever really thought about any of this. She was only twenty-three. Just turned even. "No? Well, on the plus side, if you and Adrianne do end up staying together, she'd have them all for you. You wouldn't have to worry about ever experiencing that particular labor of love."

Adrianne closed her eyes tightly, wishing her sister would just shut up already while Quinn was actually debating telling her that she already had. While it would have been nice to open up to her girlfriend's family, there was just so much back story that she didn't feel like delving into, so she just nodded her head again and returned her eyes to Adrianne. There really was something about seeing her with a child that made Quinn want to smile, but something that just didn't quite seem right about the thought of her and Adrianne having a baby.

The eldest of the brunette's sat back and watched Quinn as she watched Adrianne with her nephew. "So you two have been dating a while, right?" Quinn nodded her head, meeting her eyes for a second and then returning them to the pair on the couch. "And if you aren't ready to discuss kids, what about marriage?"

"Oh my God, Jeannette!"

"What?" She asked as if Adrianne had no reason to be getting on to her.

The younger brunette sat up, turning the baby around on her lap to face the other women. "You could have just a little bit more tact than that."

"I only asked if she had any idea of when she would like to get married, or even if she would like to get married. It's not like I asked her when she was going to propose to you or anything like that."

"You might as well have." Adrianne argued as she blushed slightly. Quinn would have felt incredibly uncomfortable if it hadn't been for her girlfriend's embarrassment which she found to be adorable.

~/~/~/~

"Are you sure it's alright if we watch it?" Quinn asked softly, standing next to Adrianne in the living room later that night. The brunette was fighting the frown on her face.

"I already told you we could and that it would be alright. I know how important and special this is to you." She was surprised the bitterness wasn't all that noticeable in her voice. "Hey, Ma? Where's the TV remote?"

"Check in the couch cushions, Honey. Your father likes to store it there." Marie answered back from the other room.

Adrianne rolled her eyes and lifted the cushion, finding it right away. Quinn could only smile. In her house growing up, everything had it's place and it better be there when it was needed. "Sit." Adrianne ordered, taking a seat herself and slapping her palm to the spot next to her as she turned on the TV. "And what show is it again?"

"The Tony Awards."

"Okay. Is she up for the same play or show or whatever the terminology is?"

"Yes. Well, kind of." Quinn stated, already wearing a beaming smile as her girlfriend turned to the correct channel. "The cast and show are nominated for several different things, but she herself is nominated for best leading actress in a musical."

"What are you two watching?" Marie asked as she joined the younger women in the living room.

"Quinn has... someone from high school that has made it successful." Adrianne wasn't sure if she could call the actress a friend or not judging by some of the blonde's stories. While Quinn always spoke of the singer with high praises, she had to remind herself that Quinn wasn't actually friends with this other woman. Just was... kind of infatuated with her. "But she nominated for an award tonight." She finished and Marie nodded, taking a seat to join in.

"What does she do?"

"She's a singer and actress." Quinn beamed with a quick look to the shorter woman before returning her eyes to scan the red carpet as the show began. "She's on Broadway."

"Broadway." Marie stated, a little impressed. "So you two were friends in high school?"

Adrianne sat back and waited, a little too jealous of all the praise that Quinn poured out for this mystery woman to keep her from saving Quinn from the pressure of answering this time. The blonde stumbled for a second and then shook her head. "Not really. I mean, we knew each other pretty well, but we never had a serious friendship."

Adrianne was intrigued about how easily Quinn danced around the part where she had tortured the girl. Part of her was glad, because Marie would have changed her mind right away, never giving Quinn a chance to redeem herself or to see that she had changed. But part of her felt almost as if Quinn was doing it for a different reason. Not because Marie would see her as a bully, but something else. Perhaps that had to do with the fact that Quinn also avoided telling the older woman about how special she held the actress... and the tattoos she had for her.

"Do you think they'll show her?" The short woman asked, noticing how hard it was to pull Quinn's eyes away from the screen but more so how hard her daughter was staring at her girlfriend as well.

"I don't really know. The show is very successful and she's nominated for one of the biggest awards, so they might."

They hadn't shown Rachel in the beginning which allowed Quinn's nerves and excitement to calm and Adrianne's jealousy to fade as well. The brunette shifted on the sofa, sitting slightly sideways, and gently ran her hand through Quinn's hair as the other played with the blonde's fingers of the hand resting on her leg. It was connections like that, when Quinn would purposefully touch her, that she felt her jealousy was simply ridiculous and uncalled for. The blonde was there with her, not off in New York trying to win Rachel over.

Adrianne diverted her eyes in her own shame for questioning her girlfriend's feelings for her. Quinn was just proud of someone she had tried to hold down succeeding. That was it.

"This is it. This is her category." Quinn stated leaning forward slightly, pulling away from the hand in her hair but holding on tighter to the one laced in hers. Adrianne sat forward with Quinn but making sure not to rest her chin on the younger woman's shoulder like she wanted to, knowing she would jump up if the actress won the award.

Marie's eyes shifted between the TV, Quinn's beaming smile, and her daughter's serious expression. "And how long have you known her?"

"Most of my life actually. We were in Glee Club together for several years."

"Oh, you sing too?"

"Rarely." Adrianne answered for her with a playful roll of her eyes. "I try to get her to sing for me all the time but I only get the pleasure of hearing her either in the shower or when she thinks I'm not home."

"I'm just not one for the attention any more." Quinn explained softly as she watched the TV intently. "Besides, I'm nothing like Rachel. I can hit the right notes but she... she is just... there are no words for what she can do. If she wants you to cry, you'll cry. If she wants you to feel like you can go out and fight the world, you'll at least try."

"Those are high praises." Marie stated.

"She deserves them."

Adrianne swallowed hard around the lump in her throat at the statement and diverted her eyes back to the TV to watch. The three women sat in silence as the presenters called out each nominee and then waited. Quinn was literally on the edge of her seat in anticipation until Rachel's name was spoken. She had to slap her hand over her mouth as she jumped up to keep from screaming.

"She did it. Now she has the Tony and the Grammy. Hell, she even did it before she was twenty-five like she always said she would."

"She sounds confident in her abilities." Marie stated, looking for a reaction from the blonde.

Quinn nodded her head as she watched Rachel slowly make her way up to the stage. "She is. She is a lot like Adrianne in that manner. She knows exactly who she is and what she wants. Always has. She wont let anything stop her from getting it." Adrianne smiled, wanting to take it all as a compliment but deep down she felt that the compliment wasn't exactly for her.

The blonde had finally taken a seat when the crying diva had made it to the microphone and Quinn was able to witness the subtle changes in her old classmate again. She was poised and took her time, soaking in the moment. Not dramatically taking the stage and gushing over how she always knew this day would come. Instead, the petite woman thanked everyone she could think of for helping her to that spot. It wasn't the expected thank you because that's what I'm suppose to do attitude that Rachel Berry use to have, but the genuine praise of others.

"She's grown up so much." Quinn whispered softly. "Like... matured in personality." She added, knowing that it probably sounded wrong.

"Has she?" Adrianne asked blindly, not really caring at this point since her jealousy had returned in full force, but still knew this was important to Quinn and felt compelled to support her.

"Yeah. She seems less... narcissistic."

Marie laughed a little but held her question until Rachel was leaving the stage and the program cut to a commercial. "So you saw her as a narcissist in high school yet you beam proudly for her now? That's quite a change."

Quinn finally met the other woman's eyes. She had known Marie was there and watching with them but it only dawned on her how this might have all looked. "The self-centered attitude was one reason why we were never friends. She was just very... grating. But as I grew older I was able to look back and see that there was more to her than just that. I simply hadn't taken the time to see it."

"Hmm." Maria responded as she watched her daughter's slightly frowning face light up when Quinn leaned over and kissed her cheek. It was a big step for the blonde. She hadn't even wanted to hold Adrianne's hand in front of her parents in fear of offending them somehow. So for her to even give a peck on the cheek was something that had Marie second guessing the giant red flag that appeared the first time she saw Quinn react to this woman called Rachel Berry.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Wait... what's this? Two updates in a week? I know, right? But I'm back and ready to write. I had said this would end up being about 25 chapters, but I'm not sure anymore. It will probably be right around there though.**

**In the next few chapters is where the larger time jumps come in. We've already had one of a few months but now we are going to get into how Quinn ended up becoming famous and how she got to New York as well as Adrianne's decision to quit school.**

**I'm going to keep the author's notes short this time since I am a few hours behind on my normal posting time. But thank you for everyone who continues to read despite my lack of updates lately. And thank you for those of you who take the time to review. It really is motivation to hear what you think. So thank you all and enjoy.**

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"Now that wasn't too terribly bad, was it?" Adrianne asked in a teasing tone as she drove away from her parents' house. Quinn rolled her eyes and looked out her car window, trying to hid her smile.

"No. It wasn't that bad. I just... I don't know. I still feel that my apprehension was justifiable with everything from my past."

The brunette looked at her girlfriend from the corner of her eye and silently debated with herself as to if she was going to push for actual information now or not. Adrianne let out a quick breath. "And what exactly is that 'everything from your past'?"

Quinn turned her head and met Adrianne's eyes before the older woman turned her attention back to the traffic. "My family. My parents." She answered back, knowing she had already told her this countless times.

"Yes. I know that." Adrianne retorted back in the same tone. "I'm asking for details. All I really know is that you grew up in a religious household. Very prim and proper. Your father was the man of the house and kicked you out when you got pregnant. He cheated so your mother kicked him out and asked you to come back home. Then she let him come home and you pretty much ran away as soon as you graduated. You weren't allowed to be anything other than perfect while you lived there, having to live up to Mommy and Daddy's expectations. But that's all I really know."

Once again Quinn was left speechless at how little she had ever shared with the woman she had been dating for so long. She knew the woman Quinn had started to become, but nothing of who she had been. The issue wasn't really sharing what her family was like, but the actual sharing part. Opening up and letting someone inside was the hardest thing for Quinn. "I'm scared to let people in." The words fell out of her mouth before she even realized it and panic gripped her. Her eyes were glued outside the windshield in front of her as she saw Adrianne take a few quick glances at her.

"You're scared to let me in? Why?" The blonde swallowed hard, knowing she needed to talk but could feel all of her senses collapsing down inward, sheltering her feelings and thoughts. "Quinn."

"Not just you. Everyone. Anyone."

"Okay." The brunette stated in the silent gap, waiting for something to go on. "And again, why?"

"Lots of reasons."

Adrianne waited again but Quinn wasn't going to give her anything else. But to Quinn, she was giving a lot. "I kind of need a bit more than that. How about sharing one of those reasons."

"Don't talk to me like I'm a child." The blonde mumbled, turning her face completely away from her girlfriend. This was hard and Adrianne's natural ability and comfort with being open made her feel stupid enough as it was. She didn't need the condescending tone to go along with it.

"You clearly need baby steps so I was just trying to help you out. You're telling me that it scares you to open up to people for lots of reasons. I asked why? You didn't really leave me any other questions to ask beyond that." Quinn didn't respond and continued to stare out of her window. Adrianne was lost. The younger woman was giving her the tiniest pieces information and then got mad at her for asking a simple question. The brunette propped her elbow on the driver's door and ran her hands through her hair to calm her frustration. "Does one of those reasons have to deal with how you had to behave at home when you were growing up? You had to act a certain way so you had to hide the feelings or beliefs that didn't go along with it?"

"Yes." Quinn answered, looking at her girlfriend in surprise that she had figured it out that easily. Everything had seemed so much more complicated in her mind. Adrianne looked back at her in a concerned confusion before turning back to the traffic on the road. "Not just at home though."

"Not just at home? At school? Is that what you mean? You had to act a certain way at , because of why?"

"It was image."

"So you had to act a certain way because of peer pressure?"

"Yes. And no." The blonde answered again, frustrated at herself that once again Adrianne was having to do all the work for her. "It started as making my parents happy. Cheerleader, honor roll, celibacy club." Adrianne bit back the joke that came to her and waited for the struggling blonde to continue. "It didn't make me happy, but it made things easier. It gave me power. But everyone wanted the power. So I had to watch myself. To maintain it."

Adrianne was learning more about Quinn now. Not just what her girlfriend was telling her, but just how much she struggled with sharing. She could hardly form complete sentences let alone the flowing ones that she normally would have used to explain how she felt. Adrianne could see now that Quinn wasn't trying to keep her ignorant about her life, she just honestly had trouble sharing. "Protect your power by protecting your position?"

"Yes."

The concept worked for Quinn but Adrianne thought it was pretty stupid. But then again, she had to remind herself that she was very different from her girlfriend when it came to strengths and weaknesses. Quinn had a creativity and a way to express her _current_ state of mind that Adrianne could never touch, a way of expressing things when they weren't hidden inside. Adrianne was the one with the conviction. She knew who she was and wasn't going to let anyone tell her differently and it was easier for her to do that. Quinn felt it was easier to stick to the order of things.

"That's still an impulsive response for me. To protect my standing first, then deal with what I'm actually wanting later."

"Then why were you so nervous with my family. Why didn't you just close up and put on the front that you use to?" Quinn dropped her brow. "Not that I was wanting you to. It's just that you say that is your natural impulse, so why didn't you do it?"

The younger woman just kept staring at Adrianne, shaking her head gently. "Because I'm not that person anymore." The brunette let out a long breath and reached over, grabbing Quinn's hand. She understood now that Quinn had been so nervous because she was attempting to stay out of her shell and actually show people who she really was. She was trying to improve by attempting to do one of the things she found most difficult.

"No. You're not that person anymore. You're stronger than that person."

~/~/~/~

"I always feel dirty checking into motels like this." Adrianne stated as she pushed the door to their room open with her foot and carried some of their bags in. "Leave your camera's in the car. They might actually be safer there."

Quinn arched an eyebrow but did as she was told and shut the trunk, following her girlfriend into their room, glancing around quickly before she went it. It wasn't a low class motel where she feared bed bugs or anything like that, but she didn't exactly like that their room opened up to the parking lot. She preferred hotels were the rooms were inside. Everything felt more secure. "So, why do you feel dirty in motels like this?"

The brunette chucked the bags onto the large bed and watched them bounce slightly. "I don't exactly know. I think it has to do with movies. Every time you see a room like this, it either involves drugs or adulterous sex. I just feel like this is a place I'm bringing a hooker for the night so no one will know."

"Are you calling me a hooker?" The blonde asked and Adrianne snapped her eyes up to hers.

"No! Of course not! I was just saying-"

"I know what you were saying. Relax. I was just playing with you."

"Don't do that to me." The brunette begged, dropping her hands to her side dramatically and Quinn smiled as she approached, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend's waist and placing a chaste kiss on her lips. "You're going to drive me to drink. I guess I should be thankful there's a bar across the street."

"It is convenient."

"Then lets go."

"To the bar?" The blonde asked, pulling her head back slightly for a better view, making sure her girlfriend was being serious. "It's a biker's bar."

"What better place for a pair of lesbians?"

"Oh, I don't know... a gay bar."

Adrianne shook her head and pulled Quinn to the door by her hand. "Gay bars are filled with lesbians and then one or both of us spends the night completely jealous of all the eyes on the other. Come on. This place is perfect. Who knows. Maybe I'll get you drunk enough that you can play the part of the hooker tonight and not giggle the whole way through it this time."

Four hours later the couple fell through the door in a burst of laughter and deep kisses as Quinn wrapped her arms tightly around her girlfriend's neck, slipping in her tongue. Adrianne had been mostly right about the bar being the perfect place. Two highly attractive women in a place with several dozen men who didn't stand a chance but wouldn't admit it to themselves. The pair didn't have to pay for a single drink they had. The only thing Adrianne hadn't taken into consideration was the small percentage of female bikers, two of which were very much into them. Jealousy had flared a little but was quickly extinguished but drunken shows of affection which ultimately left them stumbling back to their motel room.

"Sit down." Quinn ordered, pushing Adrianne towards the rickety chair in the corner of the room before straddling her lap and continuing her assault with her lips. Adrianne just smiled, so thankful for finally being out of her parents house where Quinn was back to being Quinn and affectionate. The blonde wasn't a prude by any means, but Adrianne was a borderline sex addict. Quinn could handle that because she also knew that Adrianne held loyalty as a number one priority. "No."

Quinn reached behind her and pulled the brunette's hands away as they tried to lift up her shirt. Adrianne returned them to the blonde's thighs, trying to lose herself in her lover's touch but quickly found the desire to touch her too much to deny and slowly inched her hands back up to her shirt.

"You aren't listening very well tonight." Quinn teased as she pulled her sighing girlfriend's hands away again.

"I just want you out of those clothes already."

The drunk blonde smiled and rested her forehead against Adrianne's but never released her hands. "Oh, you will." She whispered softly, closing her eyes and moving to trail a slow and gentle kisses down the brunette's jaw line, lingering in one placed just below her ear before running the tip of her tongue up to suckle the lobe.

"God. Please. Now." Adrianne begged as her eyes screwed tightly shut and she attempted to pull her hands out of her girlfriend's grip.

"No." Was the only response Quinn gave before dropping her mouth and sucking harshly on the brunette's pulse spot. Adrianne was dying at this point and not even caring about the mark that would be showing in the morning. She couldn't touch Quinn. She couldn't kiss Quinn. And the sensations the woman was causing only fueled her desire for what she couldn't have even more.

"Quinn-"

"No." She cut her off, quickly dropping her hands and standing up, moving several steps away from the flustered brunette. Adrianne sat still as her mind came back to her, slowly peeking through the lust fog as Quinn turned on the little radio on the table next to the bed. "I said they would come off in time." She stated seductively, turning around and meeting Adrianne's emerald eyes with a heated stare as her slender fingers worked at undoing the top button of her blouse. "My time. Not yours."

Adrianne arched an eyebrow in interest as she watched her girlfriend's hips start to sway with the music, slowly swirling her back closer with each release of a shirt button. "Oh, I like this."

Quinn smiled as she unfastened the last button and turned her back to the awaiting older woman. She looked over her shoulder, giving Adrianne a look that had her more aroused than she thought she could be, and then slowly began lowering the baby blue fabric off her shoulders and down her arms at a teasing pace. She held it for one more second before letting it fall to the floor and really began getting into the music.

Adrianne sat wide eyed and salivating, shocked that the drunk woman hadn't lost her balance yet.. "So, you picked up those moves as a cheerleader or in Bible school?"

"Neither." She whispered in a low, sultry voice as she swayed her way closer. Just a foot in front of Adrianne, Quinn stopped and turned around, and continued to dance. But this time, she chose to grind against Adrianne, flinging her blonde locks with the music before she pressed her back against her girlfriend's chest. "So is this how you always envisioned motel rooms?"

"Umm..." Adrianne fumbled for words as she grazed her lips over the burning skin of Quinn's bare shoulder. "I don't know." She really didn't care either. She just wanted what was in front of her.

"Unhook me?" The blonde asked leaning forward and looking over her shoulder as she waited for Adrianne to snap out of her daze and unhook her bra. The brunette did so quickly but then slowed her actions, taking the time to pepper her lover's shoulders and back with kisses.

"I want you."

"You'll have me." Quinn assured her as she leaned forward a little bit more and met Adrianne's eyes as she finished removing her bra. "Thank you."

"No. Thank you." The brunette remarked breathlessly as she found herself with the drunk woman reclining back against her again, resting her head on her shoulder. "Thank you so much." She repeated as she ran her hands over Quinn's hips and stomach to cup her breasts, loving how the blonde moaned into her ear. Quinn had abandoned her drunken striptease and gave into the alcohol and natural desire for the older woman.

While Adrianne had been just as drunk, she found herself suddenly sober and focused on her lover. She was captivated by the light moans, the continued grinding of her hips, the way Quinn placed her hands on top of hers, encouraging her to massage her breasts firmer. "I love it when you touch me."

"I'll touch you all day if you'll let me."

Quinn smiled at the hot breath against her ear from Adrianne's confession and then smiled wider as her girlfriend lowered her right hand downward, over her stomach and to her pants. "And you're impatient to do so."

Adrianne huffed a laugh as she pulled the pant button free and slipped her hand inside and under her panties. She smiled in victory when Quinn arched into her touch. "I'm only impatient because I know how much you had to drink."

"You had the same amount... oh God..."

"I did." The brunette agreed with her, finding her own relief when Quinn rocked her hips back down into her, providing just enough pressure and friction. "So I am more than aware of how long we have before one or both of us passes out."

"Mmm... you talk too much." Adrianne responded by sucking roughly on the sensitive skin of the neck so temptingly placed inches away. "Oh, aggressive... I like it." Quinn giggled, still keeping her eyes shut. Adrianne knew she was going to be out cold as soon as they were through.

"Stand up." She ordered, removing her hand from the younger woman's pants and receiving a disapproving moan in return. Adrianne ignored it and Quinn stopped protesting as soon as she felt the brunette's hands on her hips, turning her around, and her lover's soft lips high on her stomach. Adrianne swirled her tongue and placed kisses everywhere she could reach as she struggled to remove her own shirt and bra, loving the feeling of Quinn's fingers in her hair. Once the shirt was gone, she began standing up to remove her pants as well, moving her busy mouth to the blonde's breasts.

Quinn's senses were slowly cutting through the alcohol and when Adrianne's mouth met hers with pure need, she remembered that she wasn't the only one wanting to be touched. "You were being so patient." She whispered in the brunette's ear with her arms wrapped tightly around her neck before diving back into another kiss as Adrianne worked at removing the rest of her clothing now. "I think." She panted, losening her girp and stepping out of her pants and panties, "That you've waited long enough."

"That's good, because I need you right now." Both women fell onto the bed and blindly pushed their bags off the end as they wiggled towards the middle, Adrianne kissing down Quinn's neck and collarbone as her hands explored the blonde's long, silky legs, moving one on each side of her hips. Quinn's hands weren't idle either. She cupped the older woman's breasts between their bodies and gently rolled the hardened nipples between her thumb and forefinger as she gasped in response to her lover's touches. Adrianne let out a soft groan of protest though and Quinn knew exactly what she wanted. She lowered her hand further between their bodies and passed the dark curls, into the wetness. "Fuck."

Quinn smiled as Adrianne gave up on the kisses and just rested her forehead on the mattress neck to the blonde's head. "Feels good?"

"Always." She responded, moving her hand to mirror Quinn's actions as well, earning a long moan of pleasure. "I had wanted to take you every night we were at my parents'. I wanted to touch you so badly... ahmm... have you touch me."

"I'm touching you now."

Both women sped up their paces but Adrianne was the first to lower her fingers and push two inside without much warning. Thankfully Quinn had become accustom to her girlfriend's techniques and was more than ready for her, lowering her own as well. They both smiled as gasped, rocking their hips in time with one another. They were lost in the pleasure, doing to the other what they wanted to be done to themselves and losing complete track of time. Need never because too great that they were begging for their release but they soaked up every passing second of pleasure. It was only when Quinn removed her fingers and returned them to slow massages of the brunette's clit, that Adrianne snapped out of her daze.

"I'm gonna cum." The blonde stated as she screwed her eyes shut as the pull in the pit of her stomach grew stronger and strong as Adrianne not only sped up but deepened each thrust of her fingers. "Fuck, baby... oh my God... oh... mmm..."

Adrianne was panting now. Not only from the effort of trying to maintain her pace, but at holding back her own orgasm as Quinn's massaging fingers sped up with her own. She shifted her angle just slightly and bit back the burning in her arm as she listened to Quinn's moans and whimpers become more and more high pitched and her fingers faster and faster. "Fuck, you're going to make me cum."

Quinn didn't responed as her breath caught and she felt a sudden burst of ecstasy wash over her. With what little control of her body she had left as her orgasm tore through her, she pressed firmly against Adrianne's bundle of nerves and sent her over the edge along with her. Both women panted and groaned as their heated and sweaty bodies shook against one another until they came down off their high, completely exhausted. It was all Adrianne could do to roll off of her lover after placing a few short kisses to her jaw and cheek between pants for air. Adrianne went to bed that night thinking she was truly the luckiest woman in the world.

The first thing Quinn thought when she woke up the next morning and saw the back of the brunette's head in front of her, was for the slightest fraction of time, her heart wished it had been Rachel Berry instead.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Sorry guys. I struggled with this chapter and finding the right mindset to write it. It's getting a bit challenging because we are getting to the layers of emotion. And there are only more layers to come. Umm... yeah. I'll just get right to the chapter. But thank you for everyone who is sticking in there with this oddly scheduled... or not even scheduled updates. And a huge thank you to everyone who reviews. Hope you all enjoy. (loose editing towards the end)**

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"Ten weeks. Twelve states. Two dozen camping experiences, some of those being miserably failed attempts. A fortune spent on hotels and gas. And 15,000 pictures later... we are home." Adrianne chimed as she pushed the apartment door open and took a step inside, setting her bags down at her feet and looking around with her hands on her hips. "We've been away so long that it doesn't feel like home anymore."

Quinn stood behind her and leaned a little so she could see over her shoulder. "You're right. It does seem a little... strange to be here."

The brunette bounced her hands and sighed. "Yeah. Well, maybe it will look more like home once I go get the mail from Angela. We should have a box worth by now."

"You do that. I'm going to get something to eat once I am allowed inside far enough to set them down." Adrianne looked over her shoulder to see her girlfriend barely inside the doorway and quickly shuffled out of the way. "Thank you. Did you want anything in particular?"

"Nah. You know what I want wherever you go." The older woman stated, kissing her cheek before heading back out of the apartment and over to Angela's.

Quinn watched her go and let out a long sigh. She had been stressing herself out over her wandering mind. She loved Adrianne, cared for her like she never had anyone else. The woman was perfect for her. So why was she thinking of what it would be like to be with another woman. Rachel Berry of all people. Quinn knew that answer too but just didn't want to admit it. She cared for Rachel as a person, wished she could have changed things so they could have been friends. But she had never really thought of being intimate with the actress. Not that she had ever really allowed herself to think about being intimate with_ any_ woman before Adrianne got a hold of her. Quinn shook her head and closed the apartment door to deposit the bags in the bedroom before heading out to get their food.

She couldn't think like this. She couldn't do this to Adrianne. Yet it had plagued her most of the trip. There had been days when she never thought of Rachel because she had been so enveloped in Adrianne, loving her smiles and warm laughter. Her playful, sensual side. She opened Quinn up and made her feel free. That's what she needed. That was what she wanted. But then there were days the diva was always there.

When Quinn returned from getting the food, Adrianne was already back and sorting the mail. There really was an entire box worth. "Please tell me most of that is junk and can just be thrown out." She teased as she set the bag of food and the drinks down on the coffee table in front of the brunette whose eyes were busy reading.

"Some of it is. But most of it is not."

"No?" The blonde asked absently as she shuffled through the bag and divided the food appropriately. "Anything of interest at least?"

"Lots actually. For starters," Not breaking her eyes from the piece of mail she was reading, Adrianne reached over and grabbed a magazine and handed it to Quinn. The blonde set the food down and wiped her hands before taking the book.

"What's this?"

"A magazine."

"No, really?"

"Don't make me bite you."

She arched an eyebrow and smirked as she reclined back to read. "And what if I want you to?"

"Hmm... maybe later."

Quinn relented. "So, when did you start subscribing to magazines? I thought you always said subscriptions were a waste and if you wanted to read one, you'd just buy one at the stand in school."

"And I stand by that." Adrianne remarked as she finally set the piece of paper down on the coffee table and then preceded to pull the magazine from Quinn's hands. The blonde left her hands in the air, confused as to why she was given the material to read only to have it taken away. "It's a photography magazine. You don't read it. You look at it." The brunette informed her, returning the the thick magazine back to her waiting hands.

"Thank you. But it has words which you are meant to read."

"You're welcome. And just look at the damn pictures."

Adrianne watched as Quinn's expression changed slowly. It went from calm to confused to a panicked excitement. "Adrianne."

"Yes?"

"Adrianne."

"Yes?"

"How did my photo get in a magazine?"

The older woman diverted her attention to her food, picking it up to begin eating. "Well, you see. What usually happens is a photographer takes a picture. He or she then sends it in to a magazine or journal. If said picture is amazing like nearly all of yours are, then the editor chooses the photo to appear in the magazine."

"I didn't send any in." Quinn remarked more to herself, still shocked at seeing her own picture in front of her, with her name attracted to it.

"No. You didn't. Because you are too scared about being judged for them. So I took the liberty of sending in a few a while ago."

The blonde's head snapped sideways. "A few? Which ones? To who?"

Adrianne smiled devilishly and pulled out another magazine and handed it to her. "Page fifty-three." Nearly in slow motion, Quinn set one down and grabbed the other, then rushing to page fifty-three. It was another of her photos. "Page thirty-seven in this one." Adrianne called out, holding another magazine for her to take. "I sent several in to about a dozen magazines and three were chosen. So, congratulations. You're a real photographer that has been published for something other than portraits."

It took the blonde several minutes to catch her breath and set the magazines down. She wasn't sure if she was happy or not that Adrianne had done what she did. I mean, this was what she wanted. But she hadn't been ready. Or maybe she had been but was simply too scared. "I've been printed."

"You have been. And they paid you too. Not much of course, but they paid you." Adrianne informed her before taking a sip of her drink. "Now, before I start talking again, are you okay? You look like you're about to get sick."

"Yeah. No, I'm fine." She fumbled, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "I was just..."

"Completely caught off guard?" Quinn nodded and Adrianne joined her. "I knew there would be a chance of you getting mad at me for this, but I felt like the risk was worth taking. Because I know you. I know that until you think you can do something, you're not even going to try. So I had to show you that you could."

Suddenly all of the apprehension Quinn had been holding faded. Adrianne was right. "I'm not mad." She assured her in a soft voice, finally turning her head to meet Adrianne's eyes. It was only then that she saw just how worried the brunette was that she had upset her. "I'm not mad, Baby. I'm... I'm happy and thankful and scared out of my mind. But I'm mostly excited."

"Are you sure?"

Quinn smiled and nodded her head. "Yeah." She took Adrianne's hand and squeezed it gently before pulling her over to kiss her in appreciation. "Thank you." She whispered and fell into a tight hug. "Thank you so much."

Adrianne beamed and held her girlfriend close. "You are more than welcome. But there's more."

"More?" Quinn asked forcefully as she pulled away to look at the older woman. "What else can there be?"

"Offers."

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Quinn had been staring at the various letters regarding offers she had received to either meet with someone or train with someone for hours while Adrianne unpacked the bags. The brunette never bothered her about helping this time. She understood Quinn's mind was busy trying to process everything. And Adrianne had a few things on her mind as well. Most of those letters were what she had been hoping Quinn would get. They were what the blonde wanted, what she needed and had dreamed of. But at the same time, they would take her away. Even thinking about it now caused a heaviness is Adrianne's chest. She still had one more year to go in school, but with every day that past of their trip, she found it was a path she was wanting less and less.

It wasn't all do to the fear or Quinn running away to live her dreams and forgetting about her. She knew Quinn loved her, but there was always this small feeling in the pit of her stomach, that the distance would end their relationship. Quinn always seemed to need a reminder of why it was they were together, and as soon as she got it, she was fine and they were stronger than ever. It wasn't the way Adrianne had envisioned their relationship, but couldn't fault her for it either. She knew Quinn was still struggling with a lot from her past.

But part of Adrianne didn't want to follow her path with school because she felt what she was doing with Quinn could be so much more. The woman was talented and some of the stuff she had seen while sorting through the catalog of photos Quinn had accumulated over the years as well as their trip was amazing. Breathtaking. Heartbreaking. Inspiring. Those magazines and letters were proof that Quinn had something to give to the world. Adrianne was proud to be attached to that.

"Hey. What are you doing?" Adrianne asked as Quinn walked into the bedroom where she was unpacking and shouldered her camera bag. The blonde still looked shell shocked.

"I'm uh, I'm just going to go for a walk."

"Now? It's late. It's... it's actually really late." Quinn shrugged and shifted the strap on her shoulder as Adrianne approached with concern in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just need to go for a walk and think things over."

"You can think them over with me." Adrianne tried not to show her hurt when Quinn didn't respond other than to look away. "Okay. Then... enjoy you walk. And maybe you could talk to me about it all later?"

Quinn gave a faint smile before she leaned forward and kissed her lightly, leaving the room and the apartment without saying another word. She knew what Adrianne was wanting, to be let in, but she wasn't in the mindset to battle with her insecurities tonight. She just wanted to think, not fight.

Her mind was all over the place and she began to walk blindly down the street towards the down town area. All of this had been unexpected. It was what she wanted and believed would actually happen in time, she just never saw that time actually getting here, and yet, now it was. The prospect of taking one of the offers and venturing off was terrifying yet exciting. She had just started to figure things out in her life, just starting to get comfortable with them. Now she was possibly having to do it all again. Selfishly her mind drifted to the thought of turning down the offers because she was scared, yet felt that if she had Adrianne there with her, supporting her, she'd be able to take them. The brunette had done so much for her already, there was no way she could ask her to give up her dream of school when she was so close to achieving it. I wouldn't be fair.

Then again, maybe she could wait on the offers until Adrianne was done with school. Then they could move to one of the bigger cities together. Quinn shook her head and growled at herself in disgust. Hadn't the older woman taken care of her enough already. Quinn Fabray is stronger than this. She doesn't need anyone to do what she wants. But then again, she needed to let people in. She needed to need people, to open up and not shut the world out. She wasn't happy alone. And while she and Adrianne butted heads regularly, it was mostly due to the fact that Quinn was still growing. It was all understandable.

Quinn stopped walking when she saw the neon signs of the first bar in town. She looked up and sighed to herself. Might as well. Maybe it would help her think clearer if she had a few drinks in her. She just better not show up at the apartment drunk.

Adrianne sat on the sofa at home as the time ticked by. Every half hour lead to another glass of wine. She had text Quinn to make sure she was fine after the three hour mark and got a reply, so she wasn't worried for her safety. She was more concerned with her mental status, what she was thinking about. Maybe the blonde was staying away because she didn't know how to come home and tell Adrianne that she was leaving and didn't think it would work with their relationship so it's over. Or maybe it was the opposite. Maybe Quinn wouldn't go because she didn't think she was ready to do it without that push. I mean, she never would have sent in the pictures on her own. Adrianne had barely gotten her to give any input on her portfolio that still wasn't done.

Her train of thought was broken by the sound of Quinn's keys in the door. Adrianne jumped up to let her in and struggled to find her balance. She rolled her eyes at herself for getting drunk and not even realizing it. That was the way to convince Quinn this could still work. Then she saw the blonde stumble through the door. She wasn't too sure if this was a good sign or not. "You're drunk."

"I know." Quinn stated apologetically with the biggest puppy dog eyes she had ever seen before pulling her keys from the door and shutting it. When she turned back around she looked Adrianne right in the eye and they just stared at each other, knowing instantly what they had both been thinking about. They both wanted to run to the other and be as close as the possibly could, fearing it would be their last time to do so, yet the same thought is what kept them apart, neither wanting to get hurt by the goodbye. "You're drunk too."

"I am."

Quinn's head bobbed as she finally dropped her eyes to set her keys down and moved further into the living room. "Why?"

The brunette shrugged, on the verge of tears for a reason she was unaware of yet. "I was thinking about everything besides how much I was drinking. Why are you?"

The blonde stopped with her back to her, looking out the pitch black window. "Because I didn't know _what _to think about. Specifics, you know."

Adrianne nodded her head, never taking her eyes off of her as she impulsively took slow steps towards her, needing to be near her but fearful of it being the wrong thing to do. But she just needed to feel her again. To wrap her arms around her at least one more time Both women's eyes closed when Adrianne stood behind her and placed her right hand on her hip, guiding it forward and around her waist. It was this closeness and comfort that they didn't want to lose. Adrianne was afraid that she was about to lose the one that could be everything she had ever wanted. And while Quinn feared the same, she also had the fear that maybe she wasn't playing in the back of her brain. Her easily drifting thoughts to Rachel had caused her to doubt a lot. Yet those doubts faded when the brunette stepped closer so her chest was pressed against the younger woman's back and the side of their faces met.

Quinn gasped lightly. "I don't know what to do."

Adrianne's eyes closed tighter, regretting the words she was about to say. "Yes you do."

"Tell me."

She pressed her lips to her ear and willed herself not to give in. "I can't."

"Just tell me what you're thinking then."

"Quinn-"

"Adrianne." She called out, turning abruptly in the woman's arms. "You're always trying to get into my head. I'm wanting to get into yours."

"You need to make your decision without it."

Quinn stopped her as she began to walk away, trying to separate herself from what she wanted to do and what she thought she needed to do. "Adrianne."

The woman spun around and met Quinn eye to eye. "What's your choice and then I'll tell you what I am thinking."

"You wont tell me what you're thinking. You'll just agree with whatever I say." That was true. If Quinn said she wanted to go, Adrianne would have never mentioned the possibility of her staying. And if the blonde had said she'd want to stay, despite the fact Adrianne knew she shouldn't, she would have been thankful for it.

"And you're going to change your mind based on whatever I would say."

"Fine." Quinn took off towards her desk and scribbled something down on a piece of paper and flipped it over so Adrianne couldn't see. "That's what I'm thinking. Now tell me yours and you can read mine."

The brunette's will power crumbled and tears started to fall. "I don't want to lose you." Quinn didn't know what to be more shocked of. The fact that Adrianne had just caved, or the fact that she was actually crying. Adrianne never cried. She was a person that always pushed forward, beyond anything that was keeping her spirit down. "I want what's best for you. I want you to go, but I don't want to lose you. I feel like you've been pulling away this whole trip and it scares me because I've given you my heart. I've given you everything and though I tried so hard not to fall that fast, I have. I've always lost everything that I've ever wanted with my whole heart so I tried so hard not to want you like that. I tried and I failed and now you are leaving."

"I'm not leaving." Quinn said shaking her head and crumpling up the piece of paper on the desk.

Adrianne stepped forward and took it from her, straightening it out and showing it to her. "Yes you are." The blonde ignored the paper, knowing exactly what she had written on it. "You're leaving. And I'm happy for you." She hesitated and looked down at the paper in her hands before throwing it back on the desk. "I just wish..." She shrugged. "I just wish..." She shook her head, still looking down at the ground and slowly turned and walked away.

"Wish what?" Quinn called after her.

"I wish a lot of things." Adrianne really wanted to say that she could come with, but she was too afraid that the strength Quinn had shown by deciding to leave would vanish knowing that she would be there to push her instead.

Quinn was struggling as well. She just wanted to blurt out, asking Adrianne to come with her, but she felt that was selfish. Adrianne had a life here. She had school. Dreams. Goals. It also didn't help that Quinn did still fear falling back on the other woman's strength and never building her own, but that was lessening a little each day. And Rachel singing soft words of doubt in the back of her mind didn't help either. They both wanted the same thing but never said it for different reasons.

The blonde slowly made her way to the bedroom where Adrianne had already crawled under the covers, a few silent tears still falling from her eyes. Quinn stopped at the side of the bed and knelt down, the alcohol numbing her usual personal walls, and she reached out, brushing Adrianne's hair behind her ear then trailing her thumb to wipe away her tears. "I don't want to lose you either."

"Then how do we do this?"

The blonde tilted her head, closing her eyes and melting into Adrianne's touch as she placed her hand against the side of her face. "I... I want you there with me. But I'm scared... I'm scared of that preventing me from being that person you need me to be. That I need me to be."

"You made the decision to go without me pushing you."

Quinn nodded. "I did."

"You're getting there, Babe."

Maybe she was. Granted it had taken her multiple shots of something she couldn't recognize and hours of heartbreak, but she did come to the choice without Adrianne pushing her to. "What about school?"

Now it was Adrianne's turn to pause in a lengthy silence. She had always known what she wanted to do. Always pushed towards it and now, it was within reach. Yet the closer it got, the less she wanted it. Her choice: Choose Quinn and be with someone she believes is the one, helping her accomplish her dream and will impact the world in a unique way that only the blonde's creative mind could do. Or stick with her own fading dreams, possibly alone, and spending all day wallowing in a sea of injustice that few seem to care about at times. But Quinn had shown light on that injustice with her photos. She had been published and had truly effected people with them. She could try to do it herself and end up rather miserable, or she could help Quinn and end up living life like she had been for nearly a year now and had become accustom to.

"I can always go back later." Adrianne finally stated, breaking the silence in which Quinn had been studying her face. "I could just take some time off until you got settled and then go back if I really wanted to."

"Are you really wanting to do that? That's a lot to put on hold. That's your dream."

Adrianne sat up and looked down at Quinn. "It could be as little as a year before I go back. I'm not opposed to waiting if it's for a reason. And I only have a year left, nothing discouraging enough to keep me from ever going back." Quinn couldn't fight the growing smile on her face and the sound of Rachel's voice vanished, being replace with a mental image of the smile on Adrianne's face. "But this does mean one thing."

"What's that?"

"If I quit school, Mom and Dad aren't going to pay for this place anymore. You're going to have to start making real money."

"Right... But you're sure about this? Completely?"

The brunette smirked and pulled Quinn up by the collar of her shirt until their faces were just inches apart. "Do you love me?"

"Yes."

"Then I will put school on hold for you. My dream can happen any time. You have a real opportunity here that I don't want you to miss out on."

"So you'll move with me too?"

Adrianne's heart thudded for a second. "Where are you moving to?" Please don't say New York. Please don't say New York.

"I think..." The blonde began with a teasing smile as she placed a light kiss against Adrianne's jawline. "That we should take the offer..." She placed another one, pushing the brunette to lay down on the bed. "In Chicago."

Adrianne's eyes flew open. "Chicago? What happened to LA or New York City?"

Quinn laughed lightly as she continued her trail of kisses down her neck. "Chicago was my safety. If you decided to stay in school, I thought it would be easier for you to come visit me if I lived in the same city as your parents. I'll get my training and foot in the door there, while getting to know your family who I'm sure is dying to have you closer. Then." She accented the sentence with a nip of the brunette's pulse spot before lifting her head up to meet Adrianne's pensive stare. "Then after that, we can discuss LA or New York. So, what do you say?"

Quinn stared at those emerald eyes while they searched hers for something hidden deep inside but never seemed to find. "I'd say I love you."


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: I'm just going to let you all read this and see what you have to say... (loose editing)

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Quinn's time in Chicago had been filled with career highs and personal lows. When she and Adrianne first arrived, the older woman's family welcomed her back with wide arms and wide smiles, but once they settled in, things began to change. It wasn't going from hot to cold, or from them loving her to them hating her. It was nothing that black and white. The only way Quinn could wrap her mind around it was to say that they began to see her like family. And while that meant she had people who would always be there to help her or support her, be that shoulder to lean on if Adrianne wasn't around, that also meant that they had become comfortable enough with her that it was no longer all smiles of encouragement, but honest family-bound criticism. Just like any family, everyone always had an opinion and now they felt free to share it.

It especially didn't help that Quinn and Adrianne had started to drift apart. That creative side of Quinn that the brunette had loved and even been jealous of had been stimulated while training with well known photographers and always seemed to be moving, leaving the older woman far behind, struggling to keep up. Adrianne was a lawyer, a debater, an arguer. Not a creative soul. Their topics of discussion were always about business or something Quinn was excited to be working on. All Adrianne had was her family. Beyond them, she was living in Quinn's world where the blonde excelled and found her own while Adrianne was unable to keep up.

But turning to her family for support was only proving to make things worse. Quinn was welcome and loved as a woman and part of the tight-knit clan, but even Marie wasn't happy with the blonde's performance as her daughter's girlfriend. There were the moments of cuddling on the couch, the hand holding as they walked in the store of down the street. The moments where Quinn would whisper something in her daughter's ear and send her into a fit of laughter and Marie would watch Quinn beam. But nothing felt right about it when it happened. As she once told her husband, it was as if Adrianne existed purely for Quinn's comfort. She was there, but only tended to when the blonde was in the right mood or not distracted with her thoughts. Adrianne's needs and desires weren't important.

And to be honest, as Quinn stood in the door of her and Adrianne's bedroom watching the brunette sleep, that's pretty much what it had become. Quinn had what she needed and feared letting it go. She had her creative outlet. She had that desire to push herself now. And after having Adrianne with her for so long, someone who understood her and loved her better than her own parents, she couldn't stand the thought of losing her. She still loved her, but not like she was suppose to for someone who had been dating her for two years now.

She knew it was unfair and she knew it was cruel, but every morning she woke up, kissed the brunette, and told her that she loved her. Because she did love her. She just wasn't in love with her.

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The next day the couple spent their time sitting around the house. Adrianne had planned on going out but Quinn had fallen into one of her newly developed creative moods where she knew she wanted to do something with a photo or an idea, but couldn't put her finger on what exactly it was. So now the brunette sat on the couch watching TV while Quinn scribbled on pieces of paper while her eyes were glued at something outside the window. She was lost in thought and Adrianne left her to it. She didn't really mind when the blonde feel into these slumps, but when they hit the three hour mark like this one, she just felt lonely. Her girlfriend was there, but not at the same time. She couldn't hold a conversation or even acknowledged her existence. It wasn't that she was trying to be cruel, she was just mentally gone.

"I've got it." Quinn nearly shouted as she jumped up from her seat and grabbed her jacket off the back of her chair.

"Got what?" The brunette asked as the beaming photographer raced by, stopping to give her a quick kiss before moving to the door.

"I've got my idea and I'm going to go talk with Paul and try and get things in motion."

"You can't just call him?" Adrianne asked, raising her hand in the air questioningly.

"I can't." Quinn replied, turning at the door with an even bigger smile on her face. "It's one of those things where... I just can't. I have to see him. I'll be back sometime tonight. Love you. Bye."

Adrianne sat motionless as the door to their apartment clicked and locked shut. "...Bye. Glad you could share your breakthrough with me... your girlfriend... your assistant." She finally dropped her hand and sat in the empty apartment for a moment longer before getting up to busy herself. If she didn't keep herself busy, the hurt she was feeling was going to turn into anger. And that wouldn't do anyone any good.

After doing the dishes, sweeping, a load of laundry, and eating dinner by herself, Adrianne began cleaning the living room. She straightened and dusted, put things back in their place and then sighed as she saw Quinn's mess thrown about on the desk. On her way she grabbed the small silver garbage can and threw away the crumpled pieces of paper first, knowing they had been discarded ideas. But when she came to the scribbled notes, she wanted to make sure she never threw anything away that Quinn might be wanting to keep.

Normally she would stack them all neatly for the blonde to throw about again later in another creative burst, but something caught her eye that made her pause to actually read them this time. "She is..." It was all over the paper, over and over again. Adrianne knew the phrase was from Quinn's tattoo, and that it was in regards to her old classmate. That it had been about how Rachel taught Quinn that she needed to step back and really look at people to see who they really are. "She is... I've seen, all the perfection of perfect I could imagine one person being."

Adrianne dropped down roughly into the desk chair as she stared at the poem written several times. The pencil lines widened from Quinn drawing back over them time and time again. So this is what Quinn saw when she stepped back to really look at Rachel. She saw perfection. All of the, what she had thought to be irrational, fears of Quinn's feelings towards the actress being more than just pride and respect were suddenly proven to be very much real. Adrianne felt so stupid and used, but she willed herself not to cry. If this was the night their relationship ended, it wasn't going to be in tears from her. She was stronger than that.

When Quinn walked in the door and took her jacket off, Adrianne could see the smile of accomplishment on her face from her spot on the sofa. She had done whatever she had set out to do. The blonde hung her jacket up and turned to finish entering the apartment but stopped abruptly, her smile fading in concern as she saw the blank stare on her girlfriend's face. "Baby, what's wrong?"

The brunette paused for a second, trying to push away all of her anger and lifted her head from it's place cupped in her hand that had been braced on her knee. "Oh, maybe the fact that you've been isolated all day thinking and then when you finally snap out of it you go running for the door, continuing to leave me in the dark. Or maybe, it's because you've been gone for four hours and never bothered to call. Or maybe," She fought the rise of emotion as Quinn took a cautions step closer, prepared to swoop in and apologize like always. "Just maybe, it's because you've spent your day thinking of another woman while ignoring me."

The blonde froze and the warmth drained from her body when she saw Adrianne reach for her papers of notes. She knew what was on them and knew Adrianne was more than intelligent enough to figure out who they were referring to. Her past and present collided together and now she was going to have to explain the little gaps of information that she had left out and why it is that those gaps grew larger and more frequent as their relationship moved on. "Adrianne, I-"

"Do you love her? Are you in love with her?"

Quinn wanted to tell her the truth, or explain it as best she could, but her natural Fabray instincts kicked in. Manipulate. Exaggerate. Lie if you need to. "It's not like that. Look, I'm with you. I'm not running off to New York to try and find her. I'm with you."

"Only because you're scared." Damn, she was good. Quinn knelt down but Adrianne pushed her hands away. "Don't. Don't touch me right now." The photographer relented and rested a hand on each side of the sofa beside Adrianne's legs, silently begging her not to run away. "How long have you known?"

"Awhile." She answered softly, dropping her head in shame. "It was just a crush. I had never really allowed myself to admit it, but the more comfortable I became with myself and who I am," She tried to place her hand on Adrianne's knee, giving the brunette the credit for her work, but Adrianne pushed it off again. "I saw things a bit differently."

"It wasn't respect you had for her, was it?"

"A lot of it was respect. Admiration as well." Quinn clarified. "But it was also something more. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I didn't want to push you away. You mean so much to me."

"But you're in love with another woman!"

Quinn lunged forward and slammed their lips together, running out of things to say that she thought would keep Adrianne from running out on her. The brunette fought back, trying to push her away but Quinn wrestled with her hands, capturing her lips in another deep kiss. With the third connection she could feel the older woman's resistance fading and she melted into the kiss. Quinn was hit hard with guilt, knowing this wasn't what she wanted or had to have but was simply something she needed. But Adrianne was desperate for hope that Quinn was still hers and just lost in the past.

The blonde pulled her forward, down to kneel on the ground with her as she deepened the passionate kisses once more, wanting to show Adrianne how much she did need her by her side, trying to convince herself that somehow not breaking Adrianne's heart by letting her go was more merciful. "I love you. I do love you."

The brunette panted as she listened to Quinn's words, but shook her head. "You may love me, but I think you love her more."

Quinn failed to hold on to her this time as she stood up and slowly began to walk away. "It's the past, Adrianne."_ No it's not._

"Then why do you still think about it? Feel the need to write it everywhere?"

"Because it's unresolved."

"Then go to New York."

"If I wanted to go to New York, I would. But I'm here. With you."

Adrianne just crossed her arms and shook her head as Quinn stood up from the ground. Her mind and heart were fighting each other. One was saying that Quinn had a point. If she had wanted Rachel so badly, she would be in New York, not here in Chicago. It was even her choice to come to here instead of the city. The blonde had several opportunities offered to her there, ones that even paid more. But the other was saying this was Quinn, she's just scared and only lacking that push. "You can sleep in the guest room until I figure out what I want to do."

Quinn didn't argue. She stood motionless and silent as Adrianne stormed off into their bedroom, throwing some pajamas out of the room for the blonde before it was slammed shut. She didn't know what to do either. She had something with Adrianne. She had support, love, understanding, a future. Everything she ever wanted. But something still didn't seem right. Her feelings and desires for Rachel were no secret to her. Quinn knew that she wanted to at least try. Something was pulling her towards the actress all the time. Every time she heard someone say Rachel's name, she looked, logically knowing it was her, but still had to make sure. Every time she heard anything about New York or Broadway, she wondered if they would talk about the petite diva.

Her memories of seeing her on the award shows played back over and over in her mind and she was even compelled to try and find her acceptance speeches and interviews online. But she only ended up frustrated with the grainy quality of the images, blurring her memories of the woman even more. It was nothing like seeing someone in person. But she could hear that voice. That laugh. It wasn't a secret to Quinn, she wanted Rachel Berry, but she was never going to get her.

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The next few days were spent in silence and only proved to Quinn more of just how much she needed Adrianne. She was alone again. There were people at work but she needed to remain professional. Even as Adrianne blindly handed her her camera and Quinn tried to touch her hand, just for the slightest sign that she was still there, the brunette would pull away. The blonde wanted nothing more than to hold the woman until it was all okay, but couldn't because it wasn't the time or place. Things weren't much better when they got home either.

Adrianne had gone about her day, ignoring Quinn's attempts to move their life back into a normal pattern. She was mad and wanted to be mad, but also knew that it wouldn't take much for Quinn to make her forget it all. Her mind was cursing her heart every time she saw those hazel eyes filled with regrets and pleading for her to understand. She didn't want to cave. She needed to make a stand and force Quinn to choose. Again. The move to Chicago could have been just fear. She needed to choose again now that she had her career and had her direction. She had everything that she needed to be happy without Adrianne. So the brunette now gave her every reason to leave.

She barely talked to her. Stayed as far away as she could managed. Refused to let her sleep in the same bed let alone be intimate. The only thing she did grant her was allowing Quinn to occasionally kiss her on the cheek after making a dramatic show of refusal to allow the kiss on the lips. Quinn was starting to feel the rejection as well. Her nights were spent staring at the guest room ceiling, her meals spent in the kitchen staring into the living room as the brunette left her to eat alone. Quinn was understanding just how big of a part Adrianne played in her life.

But the real test had been the family dinner the couple attended at the Doucette's. Quinn had the option of not going because of an opportunity with work, but she wanted to show Adrianne that she didn't want to lose her. She wasn't even sure if the older woman had informed any of her family. But regardless, they would know something was up the minute they saw the cold look on Adrianne's face.

"Adrianne." Quinn called her lightly and grabbed her hand, pulling her down off the stairs leading to her parent's front door. "Please."

"Go to New York."

The blonde pulled her head back at the comment. "What? I don't want to go to New York. I want to stay here with you."

"Why?"

"Because I love you. You are such a huge part of my life. I wouldn't have anything if I didn't have you." It was all truth. Adrianne had helped Quinn in the beginning. Adrianne had taken her in and saved her from herself. Adrianne had put her portfolio together. Adrianne had gotten her published. Quinn owed everything to the woman and that gratitude mixed with her guilt was enough for her to push down any lingering feelings and desires she had for Rachel Berry. She wanted Rachel, but was it really logical? It was all just some sort of fairytale. Some school girl crush that had just grown with the deeper understanding that Quinn was gaining about herself. But with Adrianne, it was real. They had worked for years. As far as Rachel Berry was concerned, Quinn Fabray was only someone she would love to rub her Tony and Grammy in the face of. It was a stupid dream.

"Choose. Choose between me and her. Because I can't share you with another woman, even if she is just in your thoughts." Adrianne demanded as she once again fought back her tears. She wasn't going to cry. She had made it through this whole thing without crying, she was determined to maintain her dignity.

Quinn took a step closer and fisted the brunette's jacket, giving it a light tug. "I'm right here, am I not? Don't you think that's choice enough?"

Adrianne dropped her eyes to the ground between them and swallowed down her emotions before she continued. She loved Quinn. Loved her with every ounce of her being, but that only caused it all to hurt more. "Do you want to be with me?"

"Yes." But it was mostly because she felt she couldn't be with Rachel. Why give something good up for a dream that was never likely to come true. "Please, Adrianne."

The brunette leaned forward until her forehead was pressed against Quinn's. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Just don't let me down."


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Alright. I'm trying to finish this story up by hitting the high notes but still not making it seem too jumpy in time line. I already know how I want to end the story, but it's touching on everything else in the middle which I'm having a little bit of a hard time with. I think I've got it outlined in my head now (props to Michelle for some much needed help). I'm thinking this will end right on 25 chapters, but I will let you know for sure when I post the next one.**

**After I finish with this story I'm going to be taking a bit of a break so I can focus on a few other things. I'll still be posting on my blog. And to answer a few much asked questions, I do not have a Twitter account. Never thought to make one. And I do not have a Tumblr. Just a blog and here.**

**I'm not going to lead into this chapter other than to say it's a bit of a filler about how Quinn might have strong feelings for Rachel, but she gives Adrianne plenty of reasons to stick around and ride it all out. There is still something between them besides just fear of loss. **

**Thank you to everyone who read and thank you for everyone who reviewed. I'm really glad you all liked that last chapter and it actually felt easier to write. I had been kind of avoiding dealing with that chapter myself because I haven't been in the mood to write the heartbreak but now that it's out, I'm good. A few more chapters and it will be wrapped up. More heartbreak on the way. And... Faberry.**

**The next chapter is a bit of good with a bit of bad, working towards Adrianne reaching her breaking point. I also want to cover what was going on with her (to some extent) during their four months apart. So that will be in there as well. But thank you all for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy.**

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"Ma, stop looking at me like that." Adrianne ordered in a dropped voice as she frantically peeled the potatoes in the kitchen of her parents' house. Marie was standing on the other side of the counter stone-faced. Potato in one hand, peeler grasped firmly in the other.

"What are you thinking?"

"I don't want to talk about this."

"Tough. Because I'm your mother and I say we are going to talk about this."

Adrianne dropped her occupied hands down to the counter top and looked at her mother sternly. "I am twenty-seven years old."

"And yet I am still your mother. Deal with it." The younger brunette's shoulders deflated and she let out a sigh as she found the bar stool and sat down. "Why are you so okay with going to New York? I know you are intelligent enough to know what is going on. I love Quinn like she's my own but you and I both know it's not going to work between you two."

She ignored the last part of the comment, making herself ignorant to the obvious truth of the statement. She had given everything and wasn't just going to walk away. And Quinn was still with her. When given the opportunity to venture out to either LA or New York, she actually sat down to talk with Adrianne about it. The brunette wanted to say LA with all of her soul, to put as much distance between her love and Quinn's fascination but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Quinn's career would flourish more in New York. That's where she needed to be. "They are repressed feelings. Once she realizes that's all they are and nothing could ever happen, then it will all be in the past."

"And if they aren't just some fairytale? Then what? Then you have uprooted your life once again to follow a women to another state while she pursues a bast fling."

"Oh my God, mother." Adrianne growled in frustration as she dropped her elbows to the counter and pressed her knuckles to her temple. "It's not a past fling. It was a crush, a school girl crush. Those feelings have only grown because Quinn has held them inside and never told Rachel how much she regrets her past and admires her strength. And the woman isn't even gay." The younger brunette added for good measure. "Quinn may not even try to meet with her."

"Oh, she'll meet her." The short woman answered back quickly before returning her attention to the potato in her hand. "She will most definitely meet her."

Adrianne looked defeated. She wasn't wanting to play this game with her mother. It was hard enough dealing with her own emotions on the slow but steady realization that Quinn had not always been completely forthcoming with information regarding the high school acquaintance she felt moved enough by to brand her body and that those feelings weren't just simply going away. The blonde had genuinely tried to make up for leaving Adrianne ignorant to a lot of things, and while Adrianne loved knowing Quinn was giving her all of her attention, she still had wonders if it would last.

"And so what if she does?" Adrianne asked trying to convince herself of what she was about to say. "So she meets her. Talks with her. Tells her how much she's meant to her but then what? The woman's suppose to be dating her _male_ costar."

Marie just looked at her and shook her head. "It's not about what she's going to do, but why she needs to do it. Baby, you've given so much to her and all she's given you is her heart. But that's not even the case anymore."

"She does love me. She's just needing to deal with the past. She has a lot of regrets or just... things weighing down on her. This is just one of them. Once she meets Rachel and tells her that she's changed and that she is sorry for the way that she treated her in the past, then it will all be over. And she'll come home to me just like she has for the last two years."

"Has she?" Marie asked after a long pause.

"Has she what?"

"Has she been faithful to you? You said that she gets up in the middle of the night and leave so I can only-"

"She's taking pictures, Ma. She gets these creative bursts or something and goes out to release it." It was at that moment that Quinn walked down the stairs into the living room and heard the women talking. "Quinn's not like that. She would never cheat on me. Where is this even coming from? I thought you liked her."

"I do like her." The smaller woman argued back as Quinn leaned against the other side of the wall just by the door frame. "I love her actually. She's an amazing woman. Intelligent. Loving. Caring. I love her as a person, as my own daughter even."

"But you think that she would cheat on me?" The blonde huffed a silent laugh. She would never cheat on Adrianne. She loved her and respected her more than that. Then her thoughts caught up with her and she realized that she would never _physically_ cheat on Adrianne. She rolled her eyes in frustration of herself. It was moments like these when she asked herself what the hell she was doing. She shouldn't be leading Adrianne on like this when she knows that her heart is and in many ways has always been pulled towards Rachel. But at the same time, Rachel was a dream, a fantasy that didn't match up with her reality. She couldn't give up the amazing woman she had found to try and be with a dream that was straight. It was ridiculous. She had Adrianne and wanted her, wanted every day with her, but just couldn't stop her feelings for Rachel.

On and on. It was the same old circle. Quinn wanted to be happy and she wanted to be happy with Adrianne, hoping it would all turn out just like the brunette had been discussing with her these last few weeks before they agreed to go to New York. Quinn would meet up with Rachel one day, tell her how she feels, and maybe get a friendship that she had always really wanted out of it. Then with her feelings no longer bottling up in her, she would be free from her past and able to fully commit to Adrianne. But until then, she had a part to play.

Quinn pushed herself off the wall and delivered a quick pep talk before walking into the kitchen. She knew she couldn't avoid the topic or Marie for the next week until they moved, so she might as well get it over with. "Dinner smells good already."

Adrianne turned her head as Quinn approached and stood behind her, leaning down to kiss the brunette's forehead. "Hey."

"Hey." The blonde echoed back playfully, trying to lighten the tension she knew was smothering her girlfriend. "Need help with anything?"

Adrianne shook her head and smiled as Quinn took a seat next to her and placed a supportive hand on her thigh. She knew what Quinn was doing, taking the conversation away from the serious topic to give the younger brunette a break from her interrogation. It was thoughtful things like that, when Quinn would put herself in an awkward place to save her, that Adrianne knew she really did care. "No. We're almost done. Did you hear back from the realtor?"

"You're talking with a realtor already?" Marie asked, choosing to go along with the new direction in conversation instead of causing a fight before dinner. She knew Quinn would stay there and eventually tell her what she wanted to know, but Adrianne's protective side would come out and shelter her, keeping the two verbally separated in she needed to.

Quinn nodded her head and turned a little to look at Marie, accepting whatever blame she was going to be given. "We are. He's sent me a few web pages for us to look at. Maybe we could decide before we get there so we wont have to spend anytime in a hotel, but could rather move right in."

"Have you seen them yet? Adrianne asked cleaning her hands off on a towel.

"I browsed through them so I could tell you basics. There was a two bedroom that looked really nice but the kitchen is tiny and I know you like to move around when you cook. I figured you might have been too closed up in it." The brunette nodded in agreement, glad to know Quinn had thought about her needs as well. "But there was a really nice three bedroom with a great view. The kitchen is big as well."

"What are we going to do with three bedrooms."

The blonde shrugged. "One could be my home office so we get all of my crap out of the living area."

Adrianne gasped. "You mean I wont have to clean up after you when guests come over? We can just shut the door?"

Quinn narrowed her eyes playfully. "You see, this is where we falter." Marie held her tongue to keep from asking if she was sure it was the only place they faltered. "You don't understand the creative mind. When you look at my work area, you see a mess. But really, it's organized chaos."

"Well regardless of what it is, we can just shut a door now so I don't have to look at it."

"Right. And the third bedroom would be the guest room or your room if you find something you want to do with it."

"Oh, I get a room?"

The blonde beamed at Adrianne's sudden excitement, loving that it was actually genuine excitement as well. Not everyday was filled with tension. Most days it was as if the topic of Rachel Berry had never been discussed. "You can have whatever you want."

All Marie could do was shake her head. The more she pushed, the more Adrianne would defend her relationship. Perhaps the only option was to stand back and let her figure it out for herself.

~/~/~/~

They had done it right this time and hired movers to lug the boxes and furniture from the truck into their apartment, leaving them fully rested and mildly stress free to unpack afterward. It was always weird to move to a new place, filled with anxiety and weighed down by the unknown, but as Quinn put the last of the dishes in the cupboard and returned to grab another box, she was reminded of why she didn't really care this time.

Adrianne was busy hanging the curtains in the living area to give them some extra privacy. Her long brown hair was restrained in a messy bun, baring her long neck and shoulders exposed by her white tank top. The woman always had a sense of peace around her from her high level of certainty that calmed Quinn, but the longer they were together, the more that calmness seeped into her as well.

The blonde smiled lightly and set the empty box down before sneaking up to the brunette. Adrianne jumped slightly and then smiled through her nervous laughter as Quinn wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's waist and pressed herself against her. "I love you."

Adrianne's smile deepened. "I love you too."

"Did you ever finish in the bedroom?" Quinn asked as she nuzzled into her neck, kissing it tenderly.

"You mean did I get the bed set up?"

"Uh huh."

The brunette giggled as Quinn's playfulness escalated. Arms pulling her closer and those lingering kisses turned into nips and growls of need. She loved it when the blonde was like this. It made her feel wanted."And if I didn't?"

The blonde smiled and slowly lowered her hands from Adrianne's waist to the waistband of her jeans, unhooking the button. "That would be fine. I don't need a bed to do what I want to you."

Suddenly Adrianne slapped her hands down on top of Quinn's, causing the blonde to fault her efforts immediately. "Actually, I'm going to stop you right there." Now Quinn was really confused. Adrianne never turned sex down. Her mind quickly raced through her memories of the day to try and figure out if she had done something wrong but nothing came to her. "Don't worry. We'll get to that." The brunette assured her knowingly, easing Quinn's fears. "But I do believe that a lady deserves at least dinner beforehand."

"You're hungry?" Quinn asked pulling her head back and sliding her hands to cup her girlfriend's hips as she turned in her arms and pulled herself into a light hug.

"I'm more interested in seeing New York, but food is also a plus. We could find a really good Italian restaurant I'm sure."

"Oh, I'm sure we could." The blonde teased back, gently rocking side to side. "Did you want to go now? Or get a shower first?"

Adrianne pushed away from her and looked offended. "I'm covered in moving dust and dirt. Of course I want to take a shower."

"Good. Then we can finish what I was trying to start in there. And then after dinner," Quinn continued as she followed Adrianne's shaking, but smiling head towards their new bedroom. "We can work on it some more. And since I don't have to really start work until Monday, we have the whole weekend to prefect our New York style of love making."

"I have corrupted you." The brunette mumbled as she pulled her shirt off and threw it on the already made bed. "You use to be this wholesome little girl who had only had sex once and now I have turned you into an addict that can't keep her hands off of me."

"You say that as if it's something you want to change." Quinn teased as she watched intently while the brunette stripped down to nothing and paused at the bathroom door, looking over her shoulder at the blonde who was also working on discarding her clothes.

"Not hardly. I love it."

When the two emerged from the apartment it was with playful flirtatious smiles on their faces. Adrianne's deepened when Quinn took her hand, lacing her fingers between the brunette's. She never let go until she helped the assistant into the cab and then took the hand back into her possession. Adrianne loved these moments as well, when Quinn felt the need to touch. It was a constant reminder of who Quinn was choosing and that she really was there. She remembered when they first started dating and Quinn had hardly even consented to long stares let alone holding her hand. It had been a slow but steady progression with a few minor set backs here and there, but now Quinn took her hand without a second thought of what others were thinking around her. She couldn't have cared less and that made Adrianne proud to be the woman by her side.

Even now as Quinn continued the light smiles at her before turning her head to look out the window, Adrianne saw such a different person than the one she remembered meeting years ago. She had been a little girl, scared of everything she knew she wanted. But now, she was a confident and open woman.

While Quinn shared most her opinions, she could disagree with one part. That she was no longer afraid to go after what she wanted, because she was. She was terrified. But making it better was always Adrianne. She pushed when she needed to and fought when she had to. But she was always there, showing Quinn that she was worth more than just words and promises. Quinn would be happy to have the brunette by her side for the rest of her life if she could, but she also knew that one thing needed to be dealt with first. And that was the face on the poster just out side her window as they stopped at a red light.

The blonde tried not to stare, moving her head as if she was looking around, but fixing her eyes on Rachel's face. It was that sudden and rapid thudding of her heart in her chest that had her worried. But she pushed it down and ignored it, turning her attention back to the brunette she had sitting next to her, a woman anyone would kill to be with. She was lucky. She didn't need to do anything stupid to mess this up.

Adrianne smiled at her as their eyes met and even blushed as memories of their time in the shower washed over her again. And with seeing that, Quinn had forgotten about the poster outside of the taxi as it began to drive off. Yet she still felt that something had just be taken from her and left with those expressive chocolate eyes she hadn't seen in such details for years.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Okay. There will be two more chapters. This will end on chapter 25. I know that last chapter threw a few of you off but I hope by now that you would trust me to deliver. I understand this fic started off with a different feel and has moved into something else, but the deeper emotions didn't really hit the couple until the end. The beginning was all about Quinn and her acceptance. The middle is about how they adjusted to each other once Quinn found herself and in a lot of ways no longer needed Adrianne. And the end is about how they were falling apart yet still managed to hold it together for another year. **

**Two chapters ago was the beginning of that last phase and this is the continuation of it. Reality hits here. There's no more sugar coating life or how the world and emotions work. This chapter shows what each is thinking and more importantly, we get into Quinn's head a bit. We finally get to see a good chunk of what she is feeling with only more of it to come in the next two chapters.**

**Thank you everyone who has stuck in there this long and to those of you who have reviewed or sent me messages. Two more chapters and you'll have your ending. For good or for bad. And for those of you who keep asking, I'm sorry, but no double endings. Thanks for the interest, but not this time. Enjoy! (loose editing)**

**~/~/~/~**

Time had passed relatively smoothly since the couple arrived in New York. They were kept busy, settling in to a new apartment, a new city, and a new studio. But this time it was different. Quinn wasn't being guided and pulled away from Adrianne by her creative peers, but was rather relying on her close relationship with the brunette to keep her head above water with her busy schedule. While Quinn was running on emotional autopilot, unable to decide what she thought or felt about anything she was doing in regards to work, home, Adrianne, Rachel, when to sleep, when to work, Adrianne was feeling that she was finally where she needed to be.

She had partial control over their lives again, an equal and needed standing with the blonde, one that she had been lacking when they were in Chicago. To her it was almost like old times when they had first met. Doing what came to them, never saying no to an opportunity, and just getting up to do what they needed to, enjoying every minute of their busy schedule because it was a moment of productivity, moving them towards something. Somewhere the couple's communications were crossed, because that was not at all how Quinn was feeling. She needed something lifted from her before she crumbled under all of the pressure.

"Hey. How did the appointment go?" Quinn asked while she put her camera back into its bag as Adrianne stomped into the studio and straight to the office.

"Fine."

Adrianne wasn't in the mood but Quinn figured it was simply because of the cold she had that prevented her from getting a decent night sleep. Perhaps this was the opportunity to lighten both of their loads, eliminating any doubt once and for all. Or so Quinn told herself. She had tried to play her part and honestly tried to believe that Adrianne was right about her attachment to Rachel steaming from lingering feelings that would never be returned. She may have become more confident in herself but she still didn't like looking like a fool, and with the long shot that was Rachel Berry, that's exactly what she would look like if she honestly thought it would be as simple as telling the diva how she felt and embracing each other as if nothing ever happened. But no matter how much she tried, she couldn't ever fully ignore that feeling that something was missing. "Anything other than 'fine'?"

Adrianne dropped her purse on the desk and let out a long sigh as Quinn strolled into the office, wanting to know what the doctor had said like the attentive girlfriend she was. "It's just a cold. He gave me some antibiotics that I have to take for two weeks. So I'll be fine."

"Do you want me to cook tonight then?" The brunette arched an eyebrow and the blonde smiled widely. "I make a mean chicken noodle soup. I even take it out of the can."

The brunette laughed lightly and took a seat in the chair at the desk. "You're cute. And that actually sounds wonderful."

"Good." Quinn nodded her head curtly in reply to the decision and slowly stepped further into the small room, hesitantly taking a seat in front of the desk. Adrianne held her breath, reading the blonde's body language. She had something she wanted to say that she wasn't sure Adrianne actually wanted to hear. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Okay..." She lead into the question cautiously. "And what do you want to talk about?"

Quinn fiddled with her pants, never making eye contact until after she told her. "I think that I need to get this Rachel thing out of the way. There's just so much going on in life right now that I need something to be settled and not only is this messing with my head," _And my heart_. "But it's still causing this underlying tension between us."

"I'm fine." Adrianne stated firmly, clearly not wanting to hear about this right now. Possibly it was because she hadn't slept in three days. Possibly it was because of feeling like crap. Or maybe it was because the entire trip from the doctor's office had her pinned next to two rambling teenagers on the subway going on and on and on about the actress' latest show. Or better yet, it might just have been the nearly full block length of posters she had to walk by as well. Each one taunting her more than the last. She couldn't escape. She couldn't listen to the radio without the show being mentioned or the diva being interviewed. She could watch TV for fear of the same. Every corner had a magazine stand with papers flashing her name and ridiculously large smile all over it. She was tired of hearing about Rachel Berry, tired of constantly living in her shadow. "I just don't think this is a good idea anymore."

Quinn pulled her head back, shocked at the statement her girlfriend just made. "But... you had said that you would feel so much better if I was to make a fool of myself and get it over with."

"She's engaged, Quinn!" The brunette snapped harshly.

This time when the blonde's smile fell, it wasn't because of Adrianne's tone of voice, but simply because of what she had said. "She's..."

"Engaged. It's all over the papers. The last thing you need to do is to walk up to a woman who is celebrating her recent engagement to her _boy_friend and tell her how deeply you love her and regret never telling her."

"Adrianne, I-"

"Don't tell me it's not love." The assistant mumbled as she turned her attention to the computer, pretending to look over her schedule when really she was willing herself not to cry. "I've seen the way you look at her posters. And I've said it before, you may love me... but you love her more. But she's straight." She added, lightening her tone a little. "So you might as well get over it and just leave her alone. Sorry you have to settle for just me."

All of this just sent Quinn back into emotional autopilot as she reclined into the chair. She had never realized just how hard it would be to actually be faced with the fact that she couldn't have Rachel. She guessed that even though the chances were slim, she always had a chance. And that crushed sliver of hope now left a cold void within her. Worse yet was that she still had to deal with Adrianne's emotions, trying to convince her that she wasn't just a consolation prize but an amazing woman anyone would be lucky to have. Yet the blonde sat silently in the chair, realizing that that really was all Adrianne had become. She was an amazing woman that anyone would benefit from having at their side, but Quinn couldn't help but feel like shit when she finally accepted that she wanted and would always want more. But that was no longer an option for her. This was the best it was going to get.

The two had skirted around each other for the next few days as each processed their situation. Adrianne loved Quinn and was in love with her, but while the blonde returned part of the love, it wasn't as much as the brunette would have like. What she liked less, was that she would settle for being second best as well. She had always been a woman of standards and well aware of her self-worth, yet here she was remaining with someone she knew didn't feel the way she should about her. But she just couldn't bring herself to let go. There was a little voice in the back of her head telling her to give Quinn time. Give her time to see that Rachel was just a fairytale and she'd get over it, especially now that she was engaged. That theory was partially proven on the third day after their discussion in the office.

Quinn had been out on one of her midnight creative bursts when she saw it for the first time. Adrianne hadn't been lying. _Broadway Sensation_ _Rachel Berry engaged to Costar_. She stopped at a news stand and stared at the bold print for an uncomfortable amount of time until the pain of never knowing and the realization of having to live with it hit her and she walked away before the tears started to fall beyond her control. She had numbed herself so much to what she truly felt out of fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of dealing with her past. Fear of hurting Adrianne, the only person to have ever truly and selflessly cared for her. Every time she had started to admit the depth of her feelings for the actress, she would close them off or lessen them in her mind. But now they washed over her freely, making her sick to her stomach thinking of everything she had just lost. The tears fell the entire way back to her apartment.

Not wanting to alarm Adrianne, she took a seat on the bench across the street and fought with herself to regain control, thinking things out in her mind logically. Did she love Rachel Berry? Yes. Could she ever be with her? No. Did she love Adrianne? Yes, not as much as she should, but she did love her. Could she see herself with Adrianne always being there? Of course. Quinn couldn't imagine a day of her life without the brunette around. She was her best friend. The one person she was the closest to in the entire world. Losing her would be more than just breaking up with a long term girlfriend. Quinn would be losing part of her, the better part of her. The one person who she had to thank for her happiness outside of her feelings for Rachel.

Those were the facts. It's not about having what you want, it's about wanting what you have. It may have been a warped perspective, but it was what was going to get her through it all. She took one more deep breath and let it out roughly before standing up and making her way across the street and into their building. She could feel herself doing it on the elevator ride up, numbing herself. She felt the ache in her chest lessen and the sick feeling in her stomach disappear. This was what life was giving her, a woman who loved her. She could think of a million things worse than that and only a small handful better.

When the elevator doors opened, Quinn walked straight to the apartment and opened the door. She didn't even bother putting away her camera, opting to leave it sitting on the coffee table she passed on her way to the bedroom. She quickly but silently changed and climbed into bed, moving close to wrap her arm around Adrianne. It was the first time they had slept like this since Adrianne's outburst. It was the first move either of them had made to try and rekindle anything resembling the normal life they had just a few days before.

~/~/~/~

Things had settled in the months to come, but that tension originally created by Quinn's feelings for Rachel had only grown. This time it was a mixture of resentment and paranoia. Quinn didn't really know why she had started to resent Adrianne, she had only ever looked out for her, guided her, cared and comforted her. But she couldn't ignore the fact that she now did resent her, simply because she wasn't Rachel. Maybe if she had chosen New York over Chicago, she would have had time to talk with the actress, but she had chosen it... to make Adrianne happy. But that argument vanished when the blonde unwillingly remembered that Adrianne had given her the opportunity to break ties and go to New York to find out. But did she really think Quinn could do that to her? Just drop her like that? The lack of faith only sparked more tension.

As Quinn pulled away, Adrianne's paranoia grew. She felt like she was losing her lover and best friend. And in many ways she was. Quinn had retreated back to her old ways, shutting Adrianne out of her thoughts and trying to deal with them on her own, leaving the brunette grasping for anything she could get in order to understand. That only caused Adrianne's pushing to escalate. What had started out as a tool to guide a thankful blonde along the path of understanding and growth had slowly become a nuisance, something Quinn hated instead of silently praised. It was more nagging now than curious like it had been in their past, more accusing than supportive. She was just waiting for Quinn to get fed up and stray but she couldn't bring herself to stop her pushing either. She needed to feel like she was part of a relationship that meant something.

Even in their romantic moments, things had changed. Their love making had become more aggressive and less frequent but the moments after were still filled with that love, those faint smiles, quick, shy glances, and moments of simply holding each other. Still it was push and pull between them, each less giving to the other with mild layers of bitterness showing through the playful arguments that had become nearly a daily occurrence.

"Please, Quinn."

"Umm... no."

The brunette pouted as she sat on the top of the studio's workstation, sticking her bottom lip out as far as she could. She had asked Quinn to schedule some time off so they could travel again, maybe clear their minds of some of the stress the city had brought them, but Quinn was set on a few big accounts coming up. Adrianne had been persistent in her desires after being scared by a phone call. A magazine had called to set up an account for Quinn to shoot one of the rising young male actors on stage. The brunette's heart had jumped into her throat, realizing now that Quinn could still very well end up meeting Rachel and have those feelings that were lingering around rekindled. She needed to strengthen their base before that could happen. "Please. It would just be a week."

"After that photo shoot in Central Park. Then we can go."

"But that's two months away and you keep getting phone calls every day wanting you to do more and more." Adrianne was being relentless, but for more than one reason. This had also started out as a playful argument that resulted in the assistant withholding sex until she got her way. Unfortunately, the logic escaped her as did the fact that she was a borderline sex addict and Quinn had more will power than she gave her credit for. "Maybe we could sneak it in there before you book yourself solid." She stated softly as she gently brushed her fingers through the blonde hair as the photographer set her camera down at the workstation next to her.

Quinn could tell that Adrianne was getting restless and loved it. She had always used the brunette's weakness to her advantage, either for getting some sort of emotional satisfaction or simply for amusement. It was also a little bit of an ego booster to know that she could practically have her girlfriend begging. So Quinn liked knowing that she was in control, she was a Fabray, what else could you expect.

"I could make it worth your while." Adrianne cooed as she leaned further over, running her hand over Quinn's neck now, then tracing her finger along her collarbone. "And you know I can."

The blonde finished messing with her equipment and met Adrianne's eyes, playing into her. "And how would you do that exactly?"

The emerald orbs lit up with the shown interest. She saw victory and complete satisfaction coming her way and she was ready for it. She fisted Quinn's blouse and pulled her over, spreading her knees so she could stand between them, and then brushed her lips along her lover's jaw line up to her ear as her hands slowly moved down to the photographer's belt. "You know what I can do. You just have to tell me what you want." She pulled the belt from the buckle and released it completely before teasingly hooking her finger behind the button of Quinn's dress pants. "But before we get there... I need your word."

"My word?" Quinn echoed as she turned her head and brushed her lips against Adrianne's. She had been on edge, needing this closeness too and was now torn between what to do, give in or have some fun teasing Adrianne after a long photo shoot?

Adrianne gave in to the temptation and kissed Quinn deeply as she felt the blonde's hands slide up her legs, lifting them to rest on her hips. She was ashamed at how turned on she became from such a simple action. "Yeah." She replied between kisses that were quickly heating, hooking her fingers behind Quinn's head and pulling her in deeper. God she wanted this. She needed this. It had been too long. "Give me... your word... that we'll go... soon."

Quinn bit down lightly on her bottom lip and lifted her legs even further, stepping closer to her girlfriend and gaining a gasp. "When's soon?"

The brunette's hand slammed down on the table top to balance herself as the blonde leaned in more, attacking her neck with hot, open-mouth kisses and gentle sucking. "When I've been asking. In two weeks."

"Two months." Quinn argued back and Adrianne nearly caved just so she could have what she wanted.

"Two weeks."

"Then... no. Sorry."

Adrianne sat in stunned since as Quinn pulled away with a bit of a smile on her face and redid her belt buckle before walking away to finish tearing down the set. The blonde knew she would get her way and sex soon enough if she just waited a day or two more. "Quinn! Quinn, are you seriously going to do that?" There was no response except for a light chuckle the echoed off the walls. "You're going to just leave me here like this?"

"Your rules, not mine. No sex until you get what you want." She teased and Adrianne's frustrations got the best of her, grabbing the nearest thing besides the camera that cost more than rent and threw it as hard as she could in the blonde's direction. But as soon as it left her hand she regretted it and covered her mouth with both of her hands as the hardcover book connected with the lighting stand, toppling it as Quinn walked by. Adrianne saw it all in slow motion as the tall stand teetered and then began to lean further and further over until it came down right on Quinn's head.

"Oh my God, Quinn." She ran over as the blonde clutched her head and stumbled around until she could see straight again, using the brunette for stability. When she pulled her hand away from the top of her head she saw just blood and closed her eyes as the pain finally hit her. "I'm so sorry. I am so, so sorry. We need to get you to a hospital."

"You know..." The photographer managed as she winced at the throbbing, burning, stinging pain while Adrianne started to pull her along to the door. "You could have just caved. There was no need to get all violent."

"I know. I'm sorry, Baby." Adrianne apologized again as she took off her sweater and balled it up, using it to help control the bleeding that was now starting to run down her girlfriend's face. "I'll make it up to you. I promise."

"Okay... just after this stops bleeding, okay?"

For the first time in a while neither of them felt any tension between them, just concern. Quinn held her tongue, keeping her from cracking a poorly timed joke that judging from their past, as long as one of them is hurt physically or emotionally, they seemed to do just fine and function well as a caring couple. Perhaps that realization should have told her something then.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: One more chapter. And I know it was several days between this chapter and the previous one I posted. To be honest, I had been hoping to have had this finished by now. However, my body had other plans. I've had a series of muscle cramps/spasms for the last week that have made it really painful to sit at a computer for too long so this has been pushed back. As long as everything keeps going the way it is, expect the final chapter to be posted in about two days.**

**In the next chapter, we are going to see what Adrianne is up to, more of Quinn's harlot stage, as well as how everything came to be and everyone found their places in BWYDT.**

**I want to thank everyone who has read this and stuck through it. I know it's not one of my typical stories full of mushy stuff and love, not to mention you already know how it's going to end. But thank you for reading it. For not being a true Faberry fic, this has still managed to hold a lot of readers and that just amazes me. So thank you and I hope you enjoy the last two chapters.**

**~/~/~/~**

There are those days in everyone's life when everything just seems so simple and crystal clear. It's as if the world has been smacking you in the face for years but you're just now realizing that you can stop it. Today was that day for Adrianne. She stood in the studio office peering out the window as a work crew finished putting up a large poster advertising Rachel's show across the street. She wasn't angry anymore. She wasn't sad, hurt, fearful. She just watched with an expressionless face at the smiling diva stared back at her, knowing that she would be there every day, watching over her and Quinn, holding them back. But that's when Adrianne truly realized it. It didn't matter if that poster was their or not, Rachel was always there. Always had been and always will be. Her presence was only growing stronger with each passing day especially since the engagement new turned out to be a false rumor.

"Hey." The blonde greeted with a smile as she walked into the office ans started shuffling through papers on her desk. "What are you looking at?"

"Rachel Berry." Quinn's head shot up but she fought herself from running to the window in the off chance of seeing the tiny brunette walk down the street. "They're putting up a poster for her show across the street."

The blonde swallowed hard, knowing this was going to start another fight. They had been doing well since these last few months, more good times than bad despite how frequent the bad were, but there was still something to hold on to. "We can shut the blinds if you-"

"No." Adrianne said calmly as she continued to watch the men work just like she had been for the last hour. "Is everyone gone?"

Quinn nodded slowly, unsure of how to read her girlfriend's mood. It was rare that Adrianne was completely calm. She had her pensive moments but that usually left her with a look of concentration on her face. Not now though. "Yeah. They just left."

"Good. Because we need to talk." Adrianne slowly turned and met Quinn's eyes with lifeless ones of her own. Quinn had known this woman for years, lived with her for years, but she had never seen her like this. So unfeeling and... numb.

"What do we need to talk about?" The blonde asked nervously, feeling something definite was about to come her way. "Have you decided where you wanted to go for our trip?"

Adrianne held her eyes for a little bit longer before dropping them to look at the ground. "You and I both know there isn't going to be a trip... This isn't working, Quinn."

"What's not working?" Neither women were expecting the emotional break in Quinn's voice and Adrianne had to swallow down her own emotions. She knew this was what they both needed but hearing that Quinn was truly going to be effected by it caught her off guard. She had been sure the blonde was just waiting for the right time.

"Us. I mean, I love you." Her voice cracked under the pressure, unable to hold it back like she had been for so long now. "I love you more than anything but I can't compete with her. She knows you in ways that I never can because you wont let me. She knows your past and I've given up on every trying to know it." She paused and stepped closer to the blonde who was barely shaking her head in response. "Did you hear that last part. I gave up on trying to know you, my girlfriend. That's not right."

"Adrianne, we can-"

"No. We can't." She cut her off quickly, not wanting to hear anything Quinn had to say in fear of changing her mind. "We've been trying to work this out for a year now and it's barely hanging on. I can't keep doing this." Her voice was growing louder and louder as her frustrations with the situation mounted. She knew what she wanted, and like she always had, she went for it. But life was being cruel and forced her to want something she couldn't have this time, regardless of how hard she worked for it. "I can't stare out the window every day and be reminded that I'm your second choice. And I can't just close the blinds like I already have been every day, trying to ignore the fact that you don't love me like I need you to."

"But I do love you."

"Yes, you do. But not like I need you to. I need to know that I'm it for you. Not just a decent ending to life that you will settle for." Adrianne paused and stepped closer, pulling the photographer into a hug, cherishing it because she knew it might be their last. "I've given you everything I can and now I'm accepting that you can't do the same. So I'm walking away."

Quinn wrapped her arms around the brunette's torso and pulled her closer. "Adrianne... don't go."

The plead nearly broke her heart all over again but she forced herself to pull away and wipe the tears from her eyes, never meeting Quinn's again. "I hope you understand that I can't provide you with a two weeks notice for personal reasons. And I will have my things packed up by tomorrow night." Quinn held on to the brunette's blouse, not wanting to break that final connection and let her go. "I'm going to go back to Chicago for a little while and get my head straight."

"Adrianne-"

"I'm going to put my stuff in a storage unit here because I'm not sure where I'm going to move back for good or not."

"Adrianne-"

"And I really don't feel like lugging everything back and forth between states."

"Adrianne!"  
"What?"

Both women stood in silence and the tears started coming down again. Quinn stepped closer slowly and rested their foreheads together. "Please... don't leave me."

The brunette closed her eyes and tried to steady her breath. "Quinn, you left me a long time ago. I'm just following your lead and finishing what you started." And with that, she kissed the blonde's cheek and quickly walked away, leaving Quinn with nothing else but the tap of her high heels on the studio floor.

Part of Quinn was breaking as she collapsed down in the chair in front of her desk and let the silent tears fall, wiping them away when she thought about what had just happened. She had lost everything that had mattered to her for the last three years of her life. Lost her girlfriend, her best friend, her only friend, her support, her encouragement. She had lost it all and was left completely alone, just like Adrianne had found her. She broke for the woman and the pain that she had caused, the guilt that she had been pushing aside for years and she began to sob harder. And while she was breaking down, she could feel the stress around her lifting as well, lightening the burden on her shoulders. It was like that time after graduation when she walked away from it all. She was sad and scared and alone, but no longer having to play her part to maintain that perfect life left her worries lighter.

She went home late that night, spending her time staring at the poster outside of her office window and then more time at a restaurant around the corner from their apartment... _her_ apartment. She knew that Adrianne wouldn't want to see her tonight and waited until she thought the brunette was asleep before paying her bill and walking home. There she sat and picked at her food that she hardly ate, constantly glancing at the tattoos on her wrists. What the hell had she been doing? Quinn had asked herself that question so many times in regards to keeping Adrianne by her side, but she never allowed herself to answer it. She swore under her breath and dropped her head down into her hands. Why? It was a simply question that had been written on her body, staring at her daily. Why was she with Adrianne. She loved her, yes, but even she had known that it wasn't what it was suppose to be. She didn't need the older woman to tell her that.

Her life had been Lima all over again. She constantly lied to herself, saying that she was happy, completely. She had told herself that she had found an amazing woman who loved her, was there for her, and did everything she needed her to, so why not enjoy it. It was what she was suppose to find in life. She couldn't believe that after all of this time she had grown as an individual so much only to shrink back into her past self in other areas. But it was done now. Adrianne had once again free her of her struggles and given her the opportunity to pursue her true desires that she was even blinding herself to, all at the brunette's expense.

Nauseated just by the food on her plate, Quinn glanced at her watch and decided it was time to go home. When she got there, the apartment was already missing things. Empty spaces were everywhere and Quinn felt the disappointment in herself return. She struggled to keep the tears back, not out of sadness for losing Adrianne anymore, but for the guilt of costing her best friend so much.

She stood in the doorway of the guest room where Adrianne had chosen to sleep and watched her for a while. Without her emotions being clouded by fears and what ifs, she could see now where her love for the woman stopped. She loved her and wanted the best for her, but now understood and accepted that she couldn't give them to her because she wanted nothing more than to give them to someone else.

The blonde kicked off her shoes and walked over to the bed, laying down behind her. She didn't nuzzle into her like she normally would have, but gently draped her arm around her waist, holding her and telling her that she did care, even if it wasn't as much as Adrianne had wanted. And she was there for her after everything settled, not wanting to lose everything they had between them. Adrianne was awake but just closed her eyes tighter as the desire to roll over and have Quinn hold her one last time nearly over powered her. She couldn't give in again. She needed to be strong. For Quinn and for herself. This was for her for once. She had given up school for Quinn, moved for Quinn, moved again for Quinn, ignored her instincts and logic for Quinn. Now, she needed to finally do something for herself.

~/~/~/~

Adrianne was gone two days later. It was a simple hug goodbye without words, just like the hour or so that Quinn had actually helped her pack in silence so she could make her flight back home. And after that, it was a simple text of 'I'm here' when the plane had landed. But that was two weeks ago. Quinn hadn't heard anything since. It was now the week she had schedule off so she and Adrianne could travel and reconnect but now she was left pacing in her office after just finishing an interview with a possible assistant to replace the one just had just fired and waiting for a last minute shoot to finish setting up. She avoided looking out the window to Rachel's poster, busying herself by looking at more resumes. It was still too soon to deal with her feelings for Rachel. Or so she told herself. So she focused on her task at hand. None of the candidates she had interviewed were what she was looking for, but that was because she was looking for her best friend still. She'd settle for one for now though and adjust to the understanding that she wasn't going to be Adrianne later. There was a girl she talked to first that seemed able to keep up with what she needed.

But she really didn't care about that right now. Right now she was feeling Adrianne's absence. She had even forgotten what it was like to be alone. She spent her days calling out orders and directions, making sure everything was done right by people who weren't Adrianne and didn't know how to read her mind. Then at night she would go home to silence. Eat alone in silence. Sleep alone in silence. Wake up alone in silence. And then go back to work where the only conversation she had was where she wanted things set up. But she was so lost that she didn't even care, no longer feeling the need to talk more than that.

The only time she felt alive was when she was doing a shoot. When that camera was in her hand and she was looking through the viewfinder, nothing else mattered. The world and her pain wasn't real. She could actually feel the blood pumping through her veins and she felt again. But that was the only time. As soon as the shoot was done, she was numb again. Numb and alone just like she use to be.

That changed tonight night, however. Quinn had a set up requiring several female models and noticed one staring intently as she went about her work. At first it made the blonde uncomfortable, unaccustomed to the attention and still feeling her loyalty to Adrianne. But that thought brought reality crashing down on her again. Adrianne had left her. She eventually returned the flirting stares and quick glances, enjoying the rushing it was providing her, but still wasn't sure what to do about it. She wasn't the hooking up type and she wasn't ready for another relationship, but she couldn't ignore that this was the first time in weeks that she felt alive.

The model, a tall, beautiful brunette with blue eyes gave her one last hard stare as she returned to the dressing area after the shoot. Quinn was unable to break the eye contact and held it until she disappeared. She was ashamed to admit that she wanted her. Not really her, but that connection with someone again, that closeness and comfort. But she shook the thoughts from her head and returned to her office to see what mess her newly fired assistant had left her on her schedule. Quinn didn't think it was that hard to keep days and times straight, Adrianne had picked it up effortlessly, but this guy was struggling not to over book her. She spent at least an hour at night fixing all of his mistakes.

Quinn was standing at her desk, slightly bent over as she studied her computer screen when she heard someone clear their throat. She looked up and saw the model standing in the doorway. She didn't know what to do, what to say, so she stood there, slowly straightening her posture as they studied each other once again. The model smiled lightly as she turned her head to watch as the last person left the studio and then took a step further inside the office. "Can you show me some of the pictures from tonight?"

Her voice was light and Quinn could tell she wasn't really interested in the pictures but was thankful for her desire to break their silence so she stopped looking like a bumbling idiot. "Sure." The woman walked further into the office as Quinn pulled up the files, getting distracted by just how close the slightly taller woman was standing to her. The blonde had to fight her eyes from closing as their shoulders pressed against each other. She knew she was wrong, but Quinn would have sworn that was the first physical human contact she had had since Adrianne left except for handshakes

Quinn blindly flipped through the photos, pausing at each one or a second, but focusing her mind on how the model and turned slightly so the side of her breast was now pressed against Quinn. Shivers ran up her spine as the taller woman leaned closer, whispering a compliment in her ear. She couldn't take it anymore as the hot breath patted against her ear and neck and she stopped with the pictures, turning to look the woman in the eye. "I live three miles away."

The brunette smiled in victory. "I'm closer."

Quinn didn't remember anything about the woman's studio apartment. As soon as the door was opened, Quinn's lips were on hers in deep kisses of need. She pushed the woman further into the apartment, hoping that she would be guided in the right direction while Quinn shed her jacket and began working on the model's shirt, lifting it over her head and throwing it behind her. She knew this was wrong and meant nothing to either of them. She knew that she wasn't this type of person. But she couldn't stop herself. She couldn't stop herself the entire night, just trying to get a fraction of the satisfaction Adrianne had always given her.

When the sun came up, she took her time getting dressed, covering the spent woman's naked body and then taking her leave. She didn't like what she had done, but at the same time, it was so much better than going home alone again.

Over the next two weeks, she had perfected her technique, motivated in some twisted way by seeing Rachel's face out side her window and knowing that she was still too scared of being rejected to even try and contact her. She picked a model at the beginning of each shoot she had and focusing on them. She made them smile, complimenting them, giving them special attention, and beaming smiles laced with flirtation. The power she felt consumed her and encouraged her. She felt untouchable as night after night a woman came to her office, each looking for the same thing. And she accepted, always looking to numb the pain.

Tonight was a little different. The cute woman she had her eye on was far more shy then the others. Instead of returning her flirting smiles, she shied away from them, blushing as she looked away. Quinn quickly realized that the girl was interested but was either just straight and curious about being with a woman, or still unsure of herself. So she backed off a bit, lessening the intensity of her stares and making everything a bit more playful. She kept her smiles constant and the moments of silence short, loving it as the woman became putty in her hands.

When the model looked over her shoulder one last time before closing the door to the dressing area, Quinn sighed to herself. So this was what people meant by the thrill of the chase. The pounding of her heart, the warm blood coursing through her veins, the excitement, the anticipation. But if anything ever held her back, it was the guilt that always accompanied it. She was a coward. She settled for one or two night flings instead of growing a pair and marching down to Broadway. Hell, even just sending her flowers or a card. But something had always echoed in her mind, let Rachel enjoy her success. She didn't need to give the actress a story like all the other celebrities of old 'friends' suddenly reappearing in their lives.

The excitement which turned to guilt which then turned to frustration with herself was what lead Quinn to what she was going to do and what she had been doing, just to forget it all. Whether it be for a few hours or the whole weekend, it was time when she didn't have to think or worry or feel anything but pleasure. And yet she hated herself for it.


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: I'm sorry it took me longer to get this to you, but there are no more excuses after this. This is it. The last chapter. Now those of you who haven't already can reread BWYDT. I'm hoping everything lines up fairly well.**

**Again, I want to thank everyone who has read and especially those who have reviewed. It has been great motivation to see those numbers and read your comments. So thank you again and I hope you enjoy the last chapter. (there will be a sequel, I just don't know when I will get to it. The blog will be kept going while I'm on my break though.)**

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Three Weeks Before The Shoot:

~/~/~/~

"I need," Quinn paused as she searched around her office quickly for something she suddenly couldn't remember. "Someone.. who is organized."

"Here."

Quinn paused and looked at the candidate for the once again available assistant position. She was holding a covered lense. The blonde quickly looked at her own hands and saw she was still holding the body of her camera and then realized that she was in fact looking for that lense. That was a plus in her book. "Thank you." She said as she took it. "How did you hear about the job and why are you interested in it?"

The nervous girl shifted on her feet and let out a string of ums and uhs, hesitating to follow as Quinn walked out of the office and on to do her business. Quinn couldn't help but be impressed that the fidgety brunette actually did follow her after the slight pause. The last candidate had stood there for half an hour before leaving, thinking Quinn had just left him there. "Your last assistant, or perhaps your last... Um, she works at, sort of, the same office."

"Sort of the same office?" The blonde asked with her back to her, continuing to go about her day's tasks as usual.

"I'm just a temp there."

"And you realize that despite the fact that your sort of co-worker barely lasted two weeks, that this is not a temporary position? I'm actually looking for someone to stick around."

"Yes Ma'am."

The blonde froze and straightened her posture before slowly turning to meet the now cowering young woman's eyes. But those eyes quickly dropped under Quinn's critical gaze. "It's Quinn. Not Ma'am. I'm not old."

"Yes Ma'am. I mean... yes." Quinn studied her for a bit longer before heading off again. The shorter woman rolled her eyes at herself and then followed once more. "I like to multitask. To, you know, have my hands on everything. She was complaining about all the different things you had her doing..." She trailed off as the photographer slowed down, unsure if she had been offended or not. "But I thought the variety was actually something I would enjoy."

The older woman turned to face her and placed a hand on her hip, pursing her lips. "So, what would you say if I told you I needed a Caramel Brulee Latte, a print out of all my messages, a reorganized version of my schedule, a filtered list of offers, the lighting stands set up before the nearing photo shoot, and a price list of the latest cameras on the market?"

"I would... ask what time the photo shoot was." Quinn arched and eyebrow, looking for an explanation. And after a quick adjustment of the girl's thick rimmed glasses, she continued. "I would want to know if I had time to get your coffee before needing to set up the lighting that way you had it before the shoot began, leaving me time to revise your schedule, filter you offers and calls, then compose a price list all for you to look over as soon as your shoot was finished while I took care of cleaning up the lights afterward."

Quinn shifted her jaw slightly and watched as the confidence faded slightly from the petite brunette before she cleared her throat and shifted her glasses again while straightening her posture slightly. "What's your name and when can you start?"

"Kim and I can start now."

~/~/~/~

"Ma, why do you always have to look at me like that?" Adrianne asked without even looking at her mother, simply knowing the look the petite woman had on her face. "I told you why I'm going back to New York."

"Right, something about a career that has nothing to do with what you have been gushing about since you were little." Adrianne didn't answer and just kept folding her clothes. She had stayed with her parents during the last few months, recuperating and dealing while having family support. "I thought you liked it here. You even went on a date with that nice woman you met at the spa. She seemed nice."

"She was nice. Nice for someone else."

Marie shifted her weight between her feet before walking over to her daughter and stilling her hands, taking them in hers as she turned the younger woman to face her. "Quinn is lovely. Quinn is someone we all care very much for. But Quinn is not the one for you."

The taller brunette took a few extra seconds to calm the wave of emotions that had run over her suddenly, threatening to bring the tears about again. She hadn't cried in three weeks now. She wasn't going to start again. "I'm not going back for Quinn."

"Yes you are." Her mother stated firmly and Adrianne dipped her head backwards as she felt the burn at her eyes.

"I miss her. I do, but this is also an opportunity for me. Okay, so it's something I never imagined myself doing, but if I don't like it or if it's not for me, then I'll go back to school and finish my law degree." Adrianne argued, bring her eyes back down to her mothers. "I've seen how photos can move people. Make them think differently. Make them see differently. Not just Quinn's but in magazines I've read. I could spend all day in a court room weaving my way in and out of politics, hoping that everyone plays by the rules or I could do something that calls people out. I could make people notice everything that is being allowed to happen and then they can stand up as a whole and say that that is not right. Verdicts are overturned. Appeals are made. Friends in high places dictate truth and lies. That has to taken care of first, before I can do any real good as a lawyer."

"And you are going to try and do that with pictures?"

"Yes." The taller woman exclaimed in exhaustion. "Or I'm at least going to try. Tell me that you haven't seen a photo in the past and can still remember it to this day because it hit you just the right way. Made you think. Made you feel?"

Marie paused and lightly bounced her daughter's hands in hers. She knew this wasn't the only reason why Adrianne was going back to New York, but she also couldn't deny that she had a point. It wasn't what she was use to, but if Adrianne wanted to do it, Marie would support her. "Are you going to ask Quinn for help?"

"No." She answered quickly. "I already talked to one man that she had worked with in the past. He remembered me and is willing to take me on and teach me some of the basics. If things work out from there, he has connections with some of the top photographers in New York. He will try and get me introduced to one of them. I wont need Quinn's help."

~/~/~/~

Two weeks before the photo shoot

Quinn had seen Adrianne her first week back. It had been an unintentional sighting, but they both frequented the same places, had the same comfort zones. But again, Quinn had seen Adrianne but the brunette had not seen the photographer. The blonde had turned around and walked right back out impulsively. It had been for many reasons she figured by the time she got to the studio. The first was simply shock. She had never expected to see the older woman again, thinking she would have stayed in Chicago or gone back to finish school. She had also been a little surprised that Adrianne hadn't called to let her know she was coming back to the city.

But then again, Adrianne probably didn't want anything to do with her after she had blindly lead her into the dark for so many years. Yet seeing her there, watching as the older woman smiled at the cashier and even laughed at a joke, Quinn was hit with the realization that she was alone. She had grown accustom to it over the last several months and had developed a coping device but knowing that Adrianne would disapprove of it only deepened her own guilt about it, yet strangely also lead her to pursue the model of the day with more determination, needing to numb and forget it all.

They hadn't even made it back to Quinn's apartment. The photographer had taken her there in the studio and smiled in satisfaction as the woman gasped and shook the first time. Quinn pulled her head back and looked at the model's face as the woman shut her eyes tight and threw her head back, using the tight grip of her legs around the blonde to keep her from falling backwards. Just watching this, watching the look of ecstasy on the brunette's face was enough for Quinn. To see what she had caused the other woman to feel. To know, that in some way, this woman needed her... that was enough.

~/~/~/~

One weeks before the photo shoot

~/~/~/~

"Here are your calls." Kim stated with an odd smile on her face as Quinn walked towards her and away from the set currently being deconstructed behind her. The blonde took a second and squinted to read, but she needed her glasses. The uncharacteristically excited brunette in front of her took the opportunity to speak as she followed her boss to her office. "I know it is not my place, or even... well, I shouldn't. But, perhaps... may I make a suggestion?"

Quinn paused in the middle of putting on her glasses and looked at her assistant, unsure of how to answer. "A suggestion about...?"

"Your list." Kim replied, reaching to touch the small paper in the photographer's hand up retracting it quickly. "Your offers." Silence stood between them and the nervous brunette shifted her glasses and diverted her eyes before beginning. "I know that you prefer not to deal with magazine companies, as they restrict your creativity with their needs and wishes. But there is one that I listed at the top there." She explained, pointing and retracting her hand again as Quinn finally dropped her gaze to the paper. "It's a magazine for Broadway shows so you are probably going to be granted more control."

Quinn had stopped listening at Broadway. Always did. "And why is this being granted all of your attention?"

"It's one of those artist pieces. Where they interview a prominent actor or actress. The one they called you to do is kind of an idol of mine."

"An idol?" The blonde smiled and stood up. Every time she heard that word it always reminded her of Rachel back in high school, always referencing her idols. "And who would that be?"

"Rachel Berry." Quinn's full attention shot back down to the paper in her hand. That detail hadn't been written down. "They said that the shoot would only take a night and it wouldn't be for another week because of her expectantly busy schedule." Kim faltered, unable to read her boss' expression. She dropped her tone, fearing she was going to be rejected. "They could even condense it down to just a few hours if need be. She could be in and out before you even know it."

"No." Quinn finally spoke and then closed her eyes, shaking her mind back into reality. "I mean, yes. I'll do the shoot. We just... we don't have to rush anything." Her eyes dropped back down to the paper even though she knew everything that was written on it. "Somethings you just can't rush."

"Hey. Quinn." Both photographer and assistant turned to look at the open office door where the voice had come from. It was Quinn's escape for the night. I beautiful model, just like all the rest. "Are you ready to go yet?"

"Umm..." She hesitated, setting down the paper and running her now sweating hands over the back of her dress pants. "I... actually can't tonight. I'm sorry." She could see the hurt of rejection in the other woman's eyes despite the smile she forced on her face as she nodded her head.

"That's okay. Maybe we can get together next time I'm in town."

"Right."

~/~/~/~

Day of the photo shoot

~/~/~/~

When Quinn woke up in the morning... well, when she got out of bed. She hadn't actually slept all night, constantly running through her thoughts and all the possibilities, trying to come up with the perfect way to deal with the situation. This was such a huge thing, meeting with Rachel, but at the same time, she felt so stupid because to the diva, this was probably the worst thing she could do with her evening. Did Rachel even know that she was the photographer? That was another worry to add to the list. But when Quinn got dressed for the occasion, her mind was elsewhere, running over what she was going to say, hoping she didn't blurt out an apology for their past awkwardly, but still knew it needed to happen before anything else. But how?

_I can do this. _Quinn told herself, pulling the collar of her winter coat up to her face as she walked down the crowded New York City street. _It's been seven years. I've changed. She'll know that maturity comes with time. She has always had the better grip on the reality of people and their personalities anyway. _She rounded the corner and caught sight of her assistant huddled against the wall by the entrance to the studio building. "Is everything set up?" She needed everything to run smoothly today. And as she walked into the studio, her search for anything to keep her hands busy began.

The studio was nothing more than a large, empty loft now occupied by the equipment of the most in demand new photographer in the industry and a crew of stylist, makeup artists, and random paid employees who avoided eye contact and busied themselves as she approached. Quinn wasn't the same bitch she had been in high school, but she did utilize the skills she had perfected in that department to maintain her control if she needed to. She couldn't be seen as a push over. She was still too new. But today, the cowering crew made her nervous. _Today_ was the worst day to be seen as a bitch.

"Is she on her way?" The blonde asked stripping off her coat and throwing it across a vacant chair before busying herself with adjustments in search of perfection.

"She is due here any minute." Kim stated looking over the schedule on her phone, double checking just in case.

"That means she will be here in twenty." Quinn informed her without making eye contact. She knew she was rambling but she couldn't help it. Her body was a buzz with energy, shaking from nerves. The blonde was actually a little surprised she hadn't been physically ill yet.

"Excuse me?"

"If she is suppose to be here _now_, then she won't show up for at least fifteen minutes with the maximum being thirty minutes. She has to be fashionably late to make an entrance but not glaringly late to be viewed as unprofessional." She stopped her staging to look at the confused yet intrigued girl. "Because of all the words you could use to describe her, Rachel Berry is anything but unprofessional."

Kim followed closely with scurrying steps as the tall blonde glided through the open space with purpose and poise. "You have worked with her before, then?"

Quinn smirked and laughed to herself as she examined the lighting. Perhaps if she had a spine she would have by now. "No. I haven't had that professional pleasure yet." She furrowed her brow. "Are these hot lights?"

"Uh…" The lighting technician fumbled with his answer.

"I want to be able to see her, but not see her sweat. Find some warm lights. It may be winter outside but this building is already heated. We don't need to turn it into a sauna."

"Yes Ma'am."

Quinn left the man to his work, moving on to check her camera equipment. "If you haven't worked with her, you must have heard what she is like then." Kim continued, gaining the infamous dropped brow glare from Quinn. "I'm only asking because I'm a fan of hers. Then again, who isn't right now? I mean, she's only twenty-five and already won Tony Awards and a Grammy for her work on stage. Now with the rumors of her moving to television or film…" Kim sighed in her adoration but left Quinn with a little doubt in herself. What did she have to offer? Hell, Rachel wasn't even gay, what was she thinking. "She's just an inspiration of talent."

The blonde smiled away her laughter but nodded her head. "Always has been, even if it wasn't appreciated. Tell you what, why don't you head down and escort her up. Give you some time to tell _her_ how much you admire her. I am sure she would love to hear it." _Because I already know it all and you're only making me more nervous._

Quinn could feel her excitement rising and her nerves giving away. The fear of rejection played in the back of her mind but at the same time, she calmed it with the fact that she wasn't planning on confessing her years of repressed feelings for the actress today. That would have been too much, too soon. She'd tell her about her acceptance of her sexuality. That would be a given bonus knowing that Rachel has two gay dads. It will also eliminate the fear of past competitions from arising again. It was all going to work in her favor and provide her with an opportunity to see if there was even a reason to push things any further. Now she just needed everything to be perfect so she could give Rachel all of her attention. Not like the actress wouldn't have it anyway.

She was calling out orders, hurrying everyone to do what needed to be done before she got there, pointing and directing when her eyes caught sight and her breath was caught. From all the way across the studio, Rachel's eyes had locked on to hers, almost waiting for them, calling for them even. Quinn couldn't breath for what seemed like eternity and no amount of self control could stop the smiling from spreading across her face as the pair never even blinked. "I'll be right back."

Quinn had completely forgotten what she had even been telling the man but didn't care as she started taking steps towards the tiny woman still holding her unbending gaze. Rachel was beautiful. Always had been, but time had only accentuated it. Those large emotional eyes showed worry yet an underflow of excitement that had the photographer smiling even more.

"Rachel."

"Quinn." The blonde noticed the faint smile grow larger and barely took a breath when she heard her name fall from the petite woman's lips. She had heard it so many times, but it had never sounded so perfect before now. Rachel was actually there, was actually seeing her. She was being given her chance. She stood there for only a second before meeting her in a light hug that may have only last two seconds, but it was so much more than about the time. When they touched, when Quinn held her closer, her small frame pressed against hers, she knew this was it. It wasn't some childhood crush. It wasn't some misplaced feelings of admiration. Rachel was meant to be there, meant for her to hold, meant for her. All of the doubt, all of the worry, all of the fear simply vanished. Nothing else mattered because Quinn knew what she wanted now, and she wasn't going to let it go.


End file.
